


Bright Light in the Darkness - Original Version

by rubberduckz84



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Adventure, Drama, F/M, Grief, Heartbreak, Lothlórien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:08:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 15
Words: 51,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25442932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubberduckz84/pseuds/rubberduckz84
Summary: Elanor left Mirkwood with a broken heart, hoping to find peace and a new life in Lothlorien. She finds her own sliver of happiness with Haldir, until the one who shattered her heart shows up unexpectedly, changing everything.This is the original version of my story "Bright Light in the Darkness." Some things are the same, some different. It is unfinished, but was asked to post.
Relationships: Haldir of Lothlórien/Original Female Character(s), Legolas Greenleaf/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just a note before you continue reading – So, I’ve been writing a story called “Bright Light in the Darkness.” Well, this is the original version that I started with. I had a lot written before I abandoned it and started over, though a lot of it I reused in the new one. I recommend reading at least through Chapter 16 or 17 in that one before reading this. Or not. You can do this one first and then the other. It’s unfinished since I went to the other version, but some of the readers wanted to read this one, so posting it until I can finish the last chapter of the other one… 
> 
> Enjoy!

**Chapter 1**

It was with great sorrow that the fellowship took in their moonlit surroundings. After their meeting with the Lady of the Wood, they were now waiting for their accommodations to be made ready. It was this moment that they each allowed the weight of the past few days roll over them as they dealt with their grief. Even Merry and Pippin were unnaturally quiet. As they stood, a soft, mournful song started up from somewhere, the voice seeming to come from within the trees themselves.

Legolas looked up, closing his eyes briefly as he took in the sorrowful song. It had been such a long time since he had heard a lament as this. He could almost swear that the voice that now floated through the wood was the same from then, though he knew it was only wishful thinking.

“What’s it mean?” one of the hobbits asked. Legolas opened his eyes and explained that it was a song of mourning for Mithrandir. The group then drifted into silence again, each grieving for their travel companion in their own way.

Legolas found his thoughts drifting towards Mirkwood, spurred by the song. Memories floated like apparitions in front of him. Golden, wavy hair pulling out from a braid while riding through the forest. A flash of deep blue eyes. A smile. A soft musical laugh.

It had been 100 years since he had last seen her. They had been together almost every day for nearly 3,000 years and then she was suddenly gone. There had been no good-bye. No explanation. She had just vanished one day while he was out on patrol. Not even his own father would tell him where she went or if she would return. And there had been no word from her, though her father would often assure Legolas that she was safe.

He was grateful that the council on the ring had come when it did. Mirkwood now held too many painful reminders of what the elf prince had lost.

First his mother. And Tauriel. But before the captain of the guard had left, he had lost his dearest, oldest friend.

He had gladly taken on the duty of representing his father in other lands outside the elven kingdom, hoping to find new purpose. But that had brought him here – to Lothlorien – mourning yet another loss. Sighing, he closed his eyes, allowing for just a few moments for his thoughts to go back to that day.

_~~~_

_Legolas strode through the halls of Mirkwood, his feet taking him down the familiar corridors. He could move through them almost in his sleep. He had returned early from a patrol and wished nothing more than to see her and share his adventures. Not much had happened, but still; he shared everything with her._

_“Elanor!” he called out, walking into her chambers but then stopping abruptly. He looked around the sitting room, seeing open trunks and two maids paused in their packing. They quickly dropped into curtseys._

_“My lord,” they murmured._

_“Where is the Lady Elanor?” he asked, looking around in confusion. “I was not aware that she was going anywhere.” The maids looked worriedly at each other before looking back at him._

_“I’m afraid she’s not here, my lord,” one said softly. “She’s already left.” Legolas frowned, but then spun on his heels, quickly making his way further down the hall to where her father stayed. He stopped in front of a large oak door and then knocked._

_“Come in,” a voice called out. He stepped in and bowed slightly before Elanor’s father. “Ah, Legolas. You are back early,” the older elf said, a look of shock on his face. Legolas looked up at him and froze when he saw his own father at his side._

_“I was just at Lady Elanor’s rooms… where is she?” he asked, his voice taking on a formal tone in his father’s presence. The prince had long seen Ailmar as more a father figure than his own, relishing the freedom to be more himself around the stately, yet warm elf. Ailmar looked over at the king, the worry present in his grey eyes._

_“The Lady Elanor has been called away,” Thranduil said blandly, fixing his son in an indifferent gaze. “We do not know when she shall return.” Legolas frowned as he met Ailmar’s eyes._

_“Is this true?” he asked softly. Ailmar nodded._

_“It was… sudden. She set out rather quickly with a small pack. I am sending her things later,” he replied._

_“Where did she go?” Legolas asked. “Perhaps I could-“_

_“She was sent away on a quest that does not involve you,” Thranduil said quickly, his blue eyes cold. “Not to mention, you have far too many duties that demand your attention here. Now, if that is all?”_

_Legolas stared at his father a few moments, a scowl coming across his face._

_“Of course, father,” he said before bowing. He then turned and left, quickly moving down the corridors to his own rooms. He walked in and slammed the door behind him, quickly discarding his weapons on a table. He then began pacing as a million thoughts assaulted his mind at once._

_What sort of mission could she be on that would require such secrecy? Was she in danger? When would she return? Would he see her again? Perhaps she would write. Why had she left nothing for him? No note. No letter. No good-bye. It was this that pained him the most. The past few years he had felt her start to drift from him, but he knew not why. Where once they had freely shared everything with each other, she had begun to keep secrets from him. While he was upset she had left in the way she did, he had long felt he was losing her. Ever since that day in the stables..._

_There was a knock at his door. Legolas stopped pacing and looked towards it._

_“Come in,” he called out. The door opened and Tauriel walked in, worry on her face._

_“I heard about Elanor,” she said softly. Legolas nodded then looked away. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out before looking back at her. “Did they tell you where she went?”_

_“They did not,” he said. “Nor when she would return. She left no letter explaining herself either.”_

_There was an awkward silence between them. While there was a certain closeness between the two, Tauriel was very much aware of the divide between them – she was Silvan after all. And much younger than Elanor and Legolas, as Elanor was oft to remind her._

_She respected Elanor but felt as though the elleth held something against her. She had seen the way Elanor looked at Legolas and had noticed how she had begun waning the last few years. However, at moment, Tauriel did not wish to see the prince so distressed. She searched for something, anything, to say that could comfort him._

_“I am… so sorry, Legolas. I know how close you are,” she said softly. “But surely she will return in due time. Or write.”_

_“Yes, I am sure that she will,” he replied. “Surely it is nothing involving too much danger and she will soon be back in Mirkwood.”_

_“And… they will not tell you where she went?” Tauriel asked._

_“My father would not say, though I hope that when I speak with her father alone, he will divulge such information,” Legolas said._

_“Do not lose hope, Legolas. I am sure Lady Elanor will return soon,” Tauriel replied, infusing as much hope into her voice as she could._

_“I will try…”_

_~~~_

“Legolas?” a quiet voice said, breaking through the trance and tearing him from his thoughts. His eyes flew open, wondering if perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him. He was just thinking of her and now he was hearing her voice. He looked over towards the edge of the clearing, his eyes widening.

“Elanor? Is it really you?” he asked.

On the edge of the small clearing stood an elf woman, her skin near translucent in the twilight. She wore a dress of shimmery white, so much different from the attire she wore while living in Mirkwood. She had only worn beautiful gowns when her presence was requested by his father and even then, they were in the dark, woodsy tones that were common in the Woodland Realm. But still, she looked very much the same as she had all those years ago, her blue eyes wide in surprise and confusion, though her hair was down in long, golden waves rather than tied back in the braid he was accustomed to seeing.

Legolas gracefully crossed the clearing, taking her hands in his, scarce believing that he was seeing his childhood friend. He had wanted to embrace her, but it had been so long that even just that bit of contact seemed awkward. Elanor stood still, appearing as though she had seen a ghost.

“It has been far too long since I have seen you, my dear friend,” Legolas said, still smiling. Elanor returned the smile, though with less enthusiasm.

“Yes, it has been many years,” she said.

“Why did you leave as you did? There was no warning. No note. Just my father saying that you had been called away,” he asked.

“I was needed here, with my mother’s people,” Elanor said. “My apologies for the state of my departure. I did not wish to cause you any pain.”

“It is of no matter. We are reunited. There is so much to discuss,” he said. “So much has happened.” Elanor nodded, calmly stepping back and out of his grasp.

“How fares your father?” she asked, clasping her hands in front of her. Legolas studied her in confusion for a moment, not expecting such aloofness. The Elanor he knew had always been full of such warmth. Or at least… the Elanor he grew up with. The Elanor that had left Mirkwood had been a shadow of herself. He wasn’t sure what to make of the Elanor standing before him, acting as though she barely knew him.

“He still sits upon the throne of Mirkwood,” Legolas said, a hint of sadness in his voice.

“And… Tauriel?” she asked, her voice wavering slightly.

“She… left Mirkwood. Not that long after you,” Legolas said. Elanor nodded.

“I see,” she replied, her eyes falling to the ground a moment before looking up at the elf prince. “I know there is much for us to speak of, but… I’m afraid at the moment I am needed elsewhere.” She then bowed deeply, causing the hobbits watching to raise their eyebrows in surprise.

“Please, Elanor. It has been such a long time, but we are still friends. There is no need to bow to me,” Legolas said.

“My apologies,” she said before turning and quickly walking away.

“Who was that?” Merry asked, his eyes wide in awe. “She’s rather beautiful. Granted all the elves are...”

“An old friend,” Legolas said. “We grew up together in Mirkwood… but then one day she left suddenly. Called away to here. It has been a very long time.”

“Why?” Pippin asked, stepping up next to Merry.

“I still do not know, but hopefully I will find out before we continue on our journey…”

_~~~_

Elanor stood looking out over the city from her room in Galadriel and Celeborn’s home, a frown on her face as different emotions warred inside her. For 100 years, she had lived a relatively peaceful existence in Caras Galadhon, taking the time to heal. To leave her old life behind and search for her own path away from Mirkwood and its many memories and reminders of what she could not have.

And then suddenly Legolas was there as though he had stepped out of a vision. Still as beautiful as she remembered. And the pain he brought with him was still as sharp. 

“You saw he would come here. Why did you not tell me?” she asked, sensing another presence enter the room though her eyes remained fixed on the city.

“Because I knew that you would run and it was important for you to face your past, Elanor,” Galadriel said slowly. Elanor turned to look at the Lady of the Wood - a great-aunt on her mother’s side. “I gave you refuge here so that you could tend to your broken heart. Not run from it.”

“I came here with a shattered heart - one that I knew could not be fixed as long as I stayed in Mirkwood. And it has healed. But just one look at him… it is as if I am taken back all those years ago,” Elanor said. “Why must you put me through this pain?”

“Because you are stronger than this, Elanor. You are no longer who you once were when you arrived here,” Galadriel said, a small smile on her face. Elanor continued to look at her, her brow furrowed. Galadriel reached out and placed a hand on her cheek. “I see so much of my dear niece in you. You have her eyes. And her strength.”

Elanor took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

“I know you came here to find your own path, but perhaps it will lead you in an unexpected direction,” Galadriel continued. Elanor nodded.

“All I can promise is that I will keep my mind open, my lady,” she said. Galadriel smiled and gently kissed her cheek. She then turned and silently left the room as Elanor turned back to face the city. Only moments later, there was a knock at the door. Elanor looked over, her eyes widening as the marchwarden walked in before she allowed him entrance, smiling softly.

“Haldir, I did not know you had returned,” she said, her face lighting up slightly. Though it did not completely reach her eyes.

“It was I and my patrol that escorted our visitors into the capital,” he said. “I wanted to see you as soon as we arrived, but I was detained.”

He crossed the room to her, gently taking her hand and leading it to his lips, his eyes never leaving hers.

“I have missed you,” Elanor said.

“If you would join me, then perhaps we would not be forced to spend so much time apart,” he said. Elanor nodded and looked away.

“It has been a long time since I took up a sword and bow for anything other than training,” she said.

“But your instincts are still there,” he replied. Elanor looked back at him and smiled.

“You flatter me much, marchwarden,” she said. “Will you stay for the feast in honor of our guests?”

“I intend to. We will leave the morning after, but I will return again before they leave,” he said.

“How long do they intend to stay?” Elanor asked, frowning slightly. She hoped they would not tarry long there. There were only so many ways she could avoid Legolas. It was an action that did not go unnoticed by Haldir.

“I do not know. That is best answered by the leader of their party,” Haldir said. “But they will stay, rest, and replenish their supplies before moving on.” He paused, worry starting to take hold of his heart. He did not wish to see Elanor return to the wretched state that she had arrived in and he feared the sudden appearance of her past would do just that. “Elanor… how are you faring?”

She glanced over at him, a small, strained smile painting her face.

“I am tired,” she said. “Perhaps I should turn in early. But I will see you tomorrow night at the feast.” Haldir nodded.

“Perhaps, if you are feeling agreeable, you could join me for luncheon tomorrow,” he said gently, almost worried she would say no. Elanor thought a few moments before nodding.

“I believe that would be fine,” she said.

“Good. Until then, my lady,” he said, bowing to her before leaving the room. Elanor sighed and looked out across the forest again. She knew what Haldir would wish to speak about tomorrow. And that she could not avoid the subject with him. He had an uncanny ability to see through her facade. So much more than Legolas could. There was a time when he could as well, but perhaps his love for Tauriel had blinded him to the mind and thoughts of his once best friend.

No, that was not it. Long before Tauriel had entered their lives Legolas was blind to Elanor’s affections. And she had allowed him to continue in his ignorance. She did not know who to blame more...

_~~~_

_“Elanor!” Legolas called out. She stopped, turning to face him as she walked to her rooms. She smiled softly, feeling her heart start to race as he grinned at her. “I had heard that you returned.”_

_“Just now, yes,” she said._

_“How was the journey?” he asked, falling into step with her. “I wished to go, but Father had work for me.” A faint glimmer of displeasure played across his face, though he quickly hid it as a pair of servants passed them. He had become rather good had hiding his true feelings, though when the two were alone, he would allow his thoughts of his father flow more freely._

_“All went well. We cleared out another spider’s nest,” she said. “All in a day’s work.”_

_“I’ve been awfully bored without you,” he said wistfully. Elanor smiled in her quiet way, though her heart soared. He had missed her. Granted he always said that whenever she went out without him. Her face remained a cool, friendly mask. She too had become rather good at hiding her feelings._

_She had long known that her feelings of friendship towards the prince had turned to love. But yet, she could not bring herself to mention this to him. How does one tell their oldest friend that they had fallen in love with them?_

_She glanced at him, noticing that he was smiling at her._

_“I am sure there was plenty to keep you busy in my absence,” she said, trying to settle her thoughts on the here and now, not her own fantasies._

_“Ah yes, the many duties of a prince,” he replied boredly. “Spending hours in the presence of my father.”_

_“Your father is not all that bad,” Elanor replied._

_“In his eyes, you could do no wrong. Myself on the other hand… you would think there little I could do right,” he said, his face turning stormy for a moment. Elanor stopped and reached out, taking his hand._

_“I am sorry, Legolas. I am sure with time he will come around and see the strong future ruler that I do,” she said softly, squeezing his hand. For a moment, he glanced down at their hands and then met her eyes. For a moment, Elanor wondered what he was thinking. If perchance, this would be the moment that he gazed into hers and saw what was lying there. Some days she felt as though it was painted across her face._

_He leaned forward and for a fleeting second, she thought that he had seen, and this was the moment he would lay bare his heart and feelings for her. Elanor’s eyes widened as he smiled at her. But rather than bending down to her lips, he gently brushed his against her forehead._

_“What would I do without you, my dear Elanor?” he said, before letting go of her hand and continuing to walk on. “Come, I’m sure you are tired and in need of cleaning up after your time away. I will escort you to your rooms.”_

_Elanor finally started breathing again as she made to catch up with him._

_“Yes, of course,” she said breathlessly._

_She began to wonder if that time would ever come._

_~~~_

Elanor shot up in bed, gasping slightly at the dream. No, it was no dream. It was a memory from long, long ago. Back when she and Legolas were but 1,000 years old. She leaned over and wiped the sweat from her brow then stared at her hands in her lap as tears stung her eyes.

She did not want to remember those times, even though it was a happy memory from before she realized the truth. That Legolas did not and could not ever return her affections. It was a curse of the elves – when one fell in love, they fell completely and utterly.

Elanor pushed the blankets off her legs and swung them over the side of the bed, relishing the coolness of the floor beneath her bare feet. It helped to center her thoughts and emotions. Briefly, she entertained the thought of calling for a servant to bring her tea but decided against it. It was the middle of the night and she did not want to disturb anyone from their slumber.

So instead she walked across the darkened room to the large balcony that overlooked the city, stepping out on it. The air was warm against her skin as she leaned against the railing and looked down, seeing the clearing where the fellowship had been previously. They were all now likely in whatever accommodations Lady Galadriel had provided for them, though there was movement.

Elanor leaned a bit further, searching until she made out the figure pacing in the moonlight, his white gold hair reflecting the soft glow. From here, Elanor felt she could study him without worry of being discovered.

“Why did you come here?” she murmured to Legolas even though she knew he could not hear. “Why must you come to torture me yet again?”

Sighing, she looked away, back out to the city until she saw one lone home in the distance. She chose to focus her thoughts on the person who dwelled within it, deciding it much easier. She would worry about Legolas later.

She stood there a few moments before finally turning and walking back into the room, once again settling into her bed. She did not notice that Legolas had stopped pacing was staring up at her before she left.


	2. Chapter 2

The next day, Elanor tarried in her room, unwilling to leave until she had to make her way to Haldir’s. She felt unprepared to see Legolas again, still reeling from the chance meeting the night before. She knew he would want to know why she left in the manner that she did and that was one conversation she was not yet ready to have with him. She did not know if she would ever be ready for that conversation.

She had taken her morning meal in her rooms and stayed there until it was time to make her way through the city to where Haldir dwelled when he was not out leading patrols. It was a smaller, humbler abode than the one where her great-aunt and uncle lived and she with them. But Elanor would go there as often as she could, finding it cozy and welcoming.

She smiled as she walked up to the door, knocking lightly. A servant opened and stepped back, letting her into the foyer and then up the stairs passed a sitting room to a dining room. Haldir stood as she entered, smiling. He had left his armor off, preferring more comfortable attire for entertaining his guest.

“It is good to see you, Elanor. Have you been entertaining the fellowship?” he asked, stepping over to her. He gently kissed her cheek, taking advantage of the relative privacy of his home for a bolder sign of affection.

“Not just yet,” Elanor said, tensing slightly. Something that did not go unnoticed by Haldir. He led her to the table as the servant began walking in with plates of food. He held her chair out as she sat then took his own seat next to her. He figured now was as good a time as ever to ask what he truly wished to know.

“How are you really?” he asked, concerned. “You know that you do not need to hide your feelings from me.” Elanor thought a moment, picking up a piece of fruit and eating it slowly as she thought over her words. 

“I am fine,” she said finally. “Does it cause me pain? Yes, to a degree. But it cannot be avoided. I was told they intend to stay a while.”

“My offer stands if you wish to join me when I leave tomorrow,” he said. Elanor smiled briefly.

“I appreciate it, but I feel it best that I stay,” she said. “Though it puts me on edge, I feel that I must face my past if I am to move forward.” Haldir studied her a moment before smiling.

“It is good to hear you say such things… to move forward,” he replied.

“It has been far too long that I’ve dwelled on those times,” Elanor said. “My father is right in that I should find my own happiness.”

“And what happiness is it that you seek?” Haldir asked casually as he began to eat. Elanor laughed softly.

“I should have expected that question,” she said, glancing at him with a coy smile. “I will tell you as soon as I have discovered that for myself.”

“Then I will eagerly await the answer,” he said. “Though I believe that all any of us wish to see is for you to be happy, my lady. Whatever that may be.”

They continued on through a long, lingering lunch, staying to topics other than the visiting company, though she could tell that Haldir longed to speak more of it. Elanor spoke of the last letter she received from her father. Haldir shared stories from his patrols. While they often did not come across many a dangerous situation, he enjoyed spending the time with his men and often had entertaining stories from while he was gone.

But soon it came time for Elanor to return home. They stood at the door to his home, waiting until the last servant had stepped out of the room.

“I was wondering… may I escort you to the feast tonight?” Haldir asked. Normally, Elanor would not think twice of Haldir asking to escort her anywhere. But this time she wondered if there were ulterior motives behind the request considering their guests.

“Of course. Don’t you usually?” she replied, smiling slightly.

“Very well. I will fetch you just before it is to start,” he replied. Elanor nodded.

“And then tomorrow you shall be gone once more,” she said, looking up into his grey eyes.

“I shall not be gone for long this time. And I will always hurry back as long as you wait for me,” he replied.

“I will always wait for you,” she said, feeling her heart start to race slightly. Haldir started leaning towards her as though he meant to kiss her cheek, but then stopped, his eyes searching hers for some sort of permission. Elanor swallowed and then nodded ever so slightly. He smiled then leaned down, capturing her lips in a soft kiss.

“I will return quickly,” he said softly. Elanor smiled and stepped away, leaving the home.

She smiled to herself as she walked through the city towards her family’s home, her fingers lightly brushing her lips. It was the first time he had been so bold with her and she found that she enjoyed it.

“My lady!” Elanor heard a voice call out. She turned and glanced over, seeing two of the halflings trotting up to her. She did not stay to get their names the night before, too focused on leaving Legolas’ presence.

“Hello,” she said softly, stopping to allow them to reach her.

“Our apologies. We did not greet properly last night and hoped to do so when we saw you walking by,” the one with longer curls said, smiling. “I am Merry and this is Pippin. Of the Shire.”

Elanor nodded her head to them.

“Elanor,” she said. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Likewise,” Pippin said. “We were wondering if you could show us around.”

“That is, if you aren’t too busy with… whatever it is elves do,” Merry added.

“Of course. I am just walking back home,” she replied, motioning for them to walk with her. She slowed her pace so that they could keep up with her without losing their breath. They seemed to be rather chatty, these hobbits.

“Legolas said that you were from Mirkwood,” Merry said, looking up at her.

“I was. My father is from there. But my mother was born here,” Elanor said.

“You look a lot like the Lady of the Wood,” Pippin said, openly staring up at her. She smiled slightly.

“Actually, I favor my father,” she said. “Though I am told I have my mother’s eyes. My hair is not so golden as Lady Galadriel’s. She is my great aunt, though.”

“So that explains it,” Merry said cheerfully. He looked up, taking in the tall trees and branches. “I’ve never seen a place like this…”

“I would assume not. There is no other place on this earth like Lothlorien,” Elanor said.

“The Shire doesn’t have this many trees. Nor are they so tall. Lots of rolling hills, though,” Pippin chimed in.

“Sounds enchanting,” Elanor said.

“What’s Mirkwood like?” Merry asked. Elanor was silent a few moments, her thoughts going across the land to the place she once called home. Some days she longed to go back and walk through the halls of the king. Or the surrounding forest. As much as she had come to love Lothlorien, she could feel the trees of Greenwood calling to her at times.

“There are many trees, tall trees, as here. With so many branches and leaves that they blot out the sky. And the halls of the king… they are grand. Built into the forest so that it is almost as though they are one,” she said, her voice taking a wistful tone.

“Sounds like you miss it,” Merry said. “I know I miss the Shire.” Elanor glanced down at him.

“I do,” she admitted.

“Then why haven’t you gone home?” Pippin asked. Elanor smiled sadly.

“It was… best that I stay here. For now. But someday perhaps I will return. Even if it is but for a visit,” she said. “I do miss my father.”

“What brought you to Lothlorien, if you don’t mind me asking, my lady?” Merry asked. Elanor winced slightly.

“I was needed here,” she said, being just a vague as she was the night before. “I fear that here is where I must take my leave. There are things I must attend to.”

She then bowed to the two hobbits.

“Will we see you tonight?” Pippin asked.

“Of course,” she said, smiling sadly before turning and quickly walking away.

“You daft! You’ve gone and scared her off with your questions,” she heard Pippin scold. She chuckled to herself, and glanced behind her, seeing Pippin smack Merry in the head.

“Well how was I supposed to know?!” Merry said. She shook her head and kept walking, deciding she would be kinder to them later. It was no fault of theirs that they stumbled upon tender subjects.

Besides, she found she rather liked their company. They would be here a few weeks longer, perhaps. She would make it up to them before they left.

~~~

Later that night, Elanor looked around the balcony of Galadriel and Celeborn’s home where the feast was laid out, smiling softly as the fellowship seemed to be enjoying themselves. It was a welcomed sight after their mournful arrival, though the darkest of the hobbits - the ringbearer - still seemed quiet and aloof.

“There you are, Elanor,” Legolas said, smiling as he approached her. She smiled and tilted her head towards him. “I have been looking for you all day.”

“My apologies,” she said. “I have been rather busy. But I am happy to see that you are finally enjoying the hospitality of Lothlorien.”

“Of course. I have wanted to come visit for many years,” he said. Elanor continued to look around, still unwilling to meet the blue eyes she knew so well at one time. “And now I wish I had come sooner…”

“Legolas,” Haldir said, walking up, two goblets in hand. “It seems you have been re-acquainted with the Lady Elanor.” Legolas looked at the marchwarden as Elanor accepted the goblet from him and he placed a hand on the small of her back. He then looked back at Elanor, an odd expression coming over his face. He had seen the two arrive together, though had originally assumed it was coincidence. From the slightly cold look the Marchwarden was giving him, he wondered if he had perchance offended him in some way during their arrival, though he could not think of what it could be.

“I did not know that you were close,” Legolas said, watching the couple as a strange feeling came over him. Haldir looked down at Elanor, smiling gently.

“She has been in Lothlorien for a rather long time,” he replied.

“Haldir has been kind enough to help me with training,” she said, looking back at Legolas.

“As I remember, she did not need much in the way of training while in Mirkwood,” Legolas said.

“She does not need so much here either,” Haldir replied. “Though I still cannot seem to convince her to join me as part of our guard.”

“I have my duties here with my great-aunt,” Elanor said. Before Legolas could respond, Merry and Pippin scrambled up to their small group.

“My lady,” Merry said while grinning and bowing awkwardly. Pippin bobbed his head as well. “We just wanted to thank you today for showing us around and apologize if we offended you in any way.” Elanor smiled brightly, finding their enthusiasm contagious.

“It was my pleasure and there is no reason to apologize,” she said. “I assume you have already met our marchwarden, Haldir.”

“Yes, of course,” Pippin said.

“It must be nice to catch up. Legolas mentioned you were old friends,” Merry said brightly. Elanor glanced up at the blonde elf, wondering just what he had said to his travel companions.

“Yes, we grew up together,” she said. “But that was a very long time ago. Much has changed since then.”

“So, I see,” Legolas said, quickly composing his face into a look of pleasantness. The odd look before had not gone unnoticed by Haldir and Elanor. “If you’ll excuse me…” He walked off, joining Aragorn.

“What was he like as a lad?” Merry asked eagerly, causing Elanor to chuckle, though it was also an attempt to cover her discomfort. “Was he always so serious?”

“Not always. He had a rather strong mischievous streak when we were elflings,” she said.

“Is that so?” Haldir asked, an amused look on his face. “I find it hard to imagine. Did you partake in any of this mischief?”

“Perhaps a time or two,” Elanor murmured. “No more than is usual for a young child.”

“Tell us stories!” Merry said eagerly as a third hobbit started walking up to them shyly, though he continued to glance over at the ringbearer.

“Well, we did have a habit of sneaking into the kitchens when we weren’t supposed to,” she said after a moment’s thought.

“Dare say everyone does that,” Haldir said, amused.

“Then there was the time we tried to follow the guard out into the forest before we were ready. We got a rather large tongue-lashing for that from both our fathers,” she said.

“How far did you get?” Pippin asked.

“Not very far. We still were not so good at stealth,” she said.

“I find that hard to believe seeing how you all move,” the third hobbit said. “Sorry… I’m Sam. Samwise Gamgee.”

“It is nice to meet you, Master Samwise,” Elanor said, smiling encouragingly at him. “And we eventually learned.”

“You also learned to sing rather well, if I remember correctly,” Haldir said. Elanor’s eyes widened as the hobbits began smiling eagerly.

“I…” she stuttered slightly looking up Haldir. She had not expected him to mention it, even though she herself had led the song of lament for the fallen wizard.

“Perhaps you will treat us to a song?” Pippin asked.

“Perhaps…” Elanor replied, glancing around. “But not tonight…

~~~

“What disturbs you, Legolas?” Aragorn asked, quietly studying his friend. “You have not taken your eyes off the elf maiden since she arrived.” Legolas frowned.

“It is nothing,” he said, attempting to brush it off.

“Is that her? The one that you mentioned?” Aragorn asked softly. Legolas tensed slightly before settling back into his mask of indifference.

“I do not wish to speak of it,” he said. Aragorn continued to look at him before walking off, leaving the elf to his thoughts.

Legolas had been more than excited to see Elanor again. For many years after her departure, he had agonized over what had caused her to leave as she did. In the few years before then, she had been distant and distraught more often than not, losing the bright cheerfulness that she had had since a child. The spark in her eyes had faded to a dull glow.

Seeing her here had brought forth a rush of adoration for his old friend. And then something more - something he had not felt in such a long time. There was a time he had thought himself in love with the captain of his father’s guard, but that affection had faded in the time since Tauriel left. His fondness for Elanor had not and in some ways had only grown.

But now, watching her with the marchwarden had brought forth another feeling. Haldir gazed down at her with unhindered affection in his eyes. And hers, now glowing with a hint of the spark that had once filled them. Something twisted in his stomach, joining the confusion that plagued his mind in an uncomfortable mess.

This new Elanor was an improvement over the shell she had become before she left, but still was not what she used to be. She was much quieter and reserved. A careful mask that he had not seen before now placed upon her face whenever he came close to her, though ebbed whenever Haldir was at her side. There was affection there on her part, but not so much as Haldir displayed for her.

It made Legolas’ heart clench. There had once been affection in her eyes for him, but now a distance. He had only seen it in fleeting glances, but he was sure that it had been there. He suddenly cursed himself for never asking about it. Perhaps they would both be leading far different lives.

Elanor looked over at him, catching his gaze. Legolas quickly looked away, ashamed for a moment that she had caught him, but then he ventured another glance at her. Their eyes met yet again except this time neither shied away. There something in the blue depths of Elanor’s eyes that Legolas could not quite read. He found himself taking a step towards her. But just as quickly as the moment started, it ended when Elanor looked up at Haldir, smiling at something he said. Legolas’ eyes flew to the older elf, noticing a hint of warning in them as he glanced over.

Sighing, he looked away, drinking from his own goblet as he walked towards Boromir and Gimli, who were entertaining a small group with stories. They may aggravate him at times, but they were far better company than his pained thoughts of Elanor.

~~~

“Does it pain you to see him?” Haldir asked as he walked Elanor to her rooms. She looked at the ground in front of her, frowning. She took a deep breath, carefully thinking over her words before she spoke

“It does, but… I can handle it much better than before,” she said, looking up at him.

“I admit that it worried me when we came upon them in the wood and I saw he was among their party,” he said.

“There is nothing for you to fear there,” Elanor said. “Legolas is part of my past… a past I eagerly left behind… and he is only here but for a few weeks. Then they will continue on with their journey and our life here can continue on as it has.”

The two continued in silence, though Elanor could sense there was more Haldir wanted to say. To ask.

“Just how will our life continue here?” he asked softly. Elanor stopped and sighed, looking up at him.

“We have spoken of this… I am not ready,” she said, her brow furrowed. Haldir nodded, smiling tensely.

“Yes… I understand,” he replied. “And I promised that I would not push you. My apologies, my lady.” Elanor placed a small hand on his chest, rising on her toes to gently kiss his cheek.

“There is no need to apologize, Haldir. You have been ever so patient with me. Much more patient than I believe others would have been,” she said softly. “Much more patient than I deserve.”

“As I said, Elanor… you are more than worth waiting for,” he said. Elanor smiled and continued walking, though a sliver of guilt slipped into her heart. She had promised Haldir nothing and she worried that he might not find happiness elsewhere. They both knew that she was cursed to forever hold affection for Legolas, despite the fact that she was making efforts to put her feelings aside, knowing that there was no future there. “I know what you are thinking… stop.”

She glanced up at him and then sighed.

“But I do wonder-”

“Do not worry or wonder. I meant what I said,” he replied. Elanor nodded.

“Very well…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, the romance between Elanor and Haldir is overt in this version versus nonexistent in the other (or well... unrequited, at least). But as much as I loved it, I realized with how Tolkien created the elves, a situation like this would probably never happen - where one would fall in love with someone else for whatever reason. I mean, they didn't even get remarried after the death of a partner, so...
> 
> Tolkien, man...


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Elanor was up early, standing on the edges of the city as the patrol made ready to leave. She smiled softly as Haldir walked up to her.

"Safe journeys," she said as he took her hand and kissed it.

"I will return shortly," he said. "Do not fear for our borders."

"I usually do not when you are guarding them so ably," she said. He then stepped back and shouted out orders before offering one more smile of farewell and leaving. Elanor stood watching until they had disappeared into the forest before turning to make her way back into the city.

She stopped suddenly when she saw the ranger standing there. No, she reminded herself. He was not a ranger, but rather the heir of Isildur. Aragorn, son of Arathorn.

"My apologies. I did not mean to frighten you," he said warmly in Sindarin. Elanor was slightly taken aback. She knew of him, yes, but did not know that he could speak her tongue.

"It is quite alright. I am not accustomed to men moving so quietly," she said.

"Might I walk with you a bit?" he asked.

"Of course," she said, smiling slightly as she stepped to his side and he moved to follow her. She was slowly but surely becoming acquainted with everyone in the company, though she had yet to speak with the dwarf or other mortal – the steward of Gondor's son. Though she assumed by the end of their time in Lothlorien she would get to know them all on some level.

"I apologize for not introducing myself before now. I am Aragorn," he said, glancing at her.

"No need for apologies. I am Elanor," she replied warmly. While the man was still very much a mystery to her, she had heard a decent amount from others who seemed keen to divulge everything they found out about the visiting fellowship.

"I could not help but overhear that you were also from Mirkwood," he replied.

"I am," Elanor said cautiously, unsure of where the man was leading the conversation. She had seen him speak with Legolas the night before but was unsure of their relationship. "But I left 100 years ago to come live among my mother's kin."

"Your mother is from Lothlorien?" he asked, seeming surprised.

"Yes, she was the niece of Lady Galadriel," Elanor said.

"Was…"

"Yes… she passed on some time ago. When I was young," Elanor said softly.

"My apologies for your loss," Aragorn said.

"Thank you," Elanor replied. "I am curious, how is it you are so comfortable with our language?" Aragorn smiled slightly.

"I grew up in Imladris," he said. "When my own parents died when I was a child, Lord Elrond took me in. It is there that I first met Legolas."

"Is it?" Elanor asked, not recalling such a trip. Though she assumed it must have been sometime after she left, judging by Aragorn's age.

"It was some 70 years ago," he replied, guessing to the direction of her thoughts. "He then spent some time with me among the Dunedain after I had grown."

"Seems he has been on many adventures since I left," Elanor said. "He is much changed…"

"Time changes many things," Aragorn said sagely. "And some things do not change at all." Elanor raised an eyebrow, curious as to what he meant.

"What brings you out so early, Lord Aragorn?" she asked, quickly changing the subject before they entered into tender subjects. Namely the reason she left.

"I often rise early. Though we are to rest, I find that I cannot stay sleeping as late as some of my companions," he replied with a slight smile.

"I take it you mean the hobbits?" Elanor asked, returning the smile. Aragorn chuckled and nodded. "Now I understand just how it is they are full of boundless energy."

"They are interesting folk, hobbits," Aragorn said.

"Dare say I could listen to their stories all day," Elanor said, smiling slightly. "It reminds me of my mother in a way… she always had a story to tell. Though she was not so lively in her recitation of them. She was much better at singing them."

Aragorn stopped and looked at her, something obviously dawning on him.

"Was that you who was singing the night we arrived?" he asked suddenly.

"It was," she said.

"It was beautiful. Very fitting," he said.

"My mother was a much better singer," Elanor said quickly, brushing off the compliment as she started walking again.

They were nearing the center of the city where Galadriel's home was located. Elanor stopped at a fork in the path, knowing that Aragorn would have to take that to the right to continue on towards where he and the others were staying.

"I have enjoyed our stroll," Elanor said, bowing her head slightly. "But here is where our paths must diverge." Aragorn nodded, but continued to study her in such a way that made Elanor even more curious as to what was going through his mind.

"I hope that we might get to know one another more before we leave," Aragorn said.

"Perhaps we shall," she said, starting to turn down her path. Though she stopped, noticing Aragorn hesitating. It seemed as though he wished to say something more. "Is something the matter?"

"If I might be so bold, my lady," he said. "I hope that perhaps you can repair whatever it was that was damaged between you and Legolas. He is good and he seems troubled where you are concerned."

Elanor frowned, slightly taken aback by his statement. Just what had Legolas told him of her?

"Thank you, though what has passed between myself and Legolas is just that… between myself and Legolas," she said curtly. "Good day." She then spun around and quickly headed up the path to her home, not looking back.

Aragorn sighed and shook his head, regretting his words. He should have said nothing to the elf maiden, but he could not help but notice Legolas' agitation and hoped perhaps if he learned more about her, he could provide some aide. Now it seemed he should have stayed out of it completely.

* * *

Elanor quickly made her way to her rooms and collapsed in a chair near the balcony, sighing heavily as she looked out upon the city. She blinked, fighting to keep the tears at bay as well as the memories. She did not understand why the ranger would say such things to her. What did he know of her past?

She leaned her head into her hand, closing her eyes as yet another memory overcame her...

* * *

_Elanor pulled at her long sleeves as she made her way quietly and quickly through the halls of Mirkwood. King Thranduil had requested her company so she had hastily thrown on one of her more elaborate gowns, knowing the elf king preferred decorum. She would have rather kept to her more simple gowns or even a pair of breeches._

" _But I love her, Father!" she heard coming through the half-opened door to Thranduil's chambers. Elanor stopped, looking up. She held her breath as she immediately recognized Legolas' voice._

" _You know that this union cannot be," Thranduil said calmly. "I forbid it."_

" _But why, Father? She has more than proven her worth," Legolas replied._

" _Because her station is beneath us. She is a lowly Silvan elf," Thranduil said. Elanor gripped the front of her gown just above her heart. There it was. The proof of what she had expected all along. He was in love with Tauriel. "You are a prince, Legolas. You should be with someone of a higher station."_

_There was silence from the chambers. It went so long that Elanor found herself nearly gasping for air._

" _Someone like Elanor?" Legolas finally asked._

" _Yes, I would prefer that union over this," Thranduil said. "Though I will not force you."_

" _But I do not love her," Legolas replied. "Not in that way. She is like a sister to me."_

" _You are fond of her, are you not?" Thranduil asked. "Love will come if you give it time. And time is something of which we have much."_

" _But I can never feel for her what I feel for Tauriel," Legolas said._

_It was like a tiny crack at first. A small chip that had already been in her heart started splintering. Then suddenly it was like glass breaking. Her heart shattered into a million pieces and she reached out, steadying herself against the wall. Elanor had not felt pain like this before._

" _You are acting foolishly, Legolas. She is a worthy match. She is your match. You are just not giving it a chance," Thranduil said._

_Elanor heard steps approaching the door and she quickly stepped behind a pillar, hiding herself from view._

" _I have not dismissed you, Legolas," Thranduil called out._

" _I have no more to say to you," Legolas replied before stepping out of the chambers and quickly walking away. Elanor waited until she could hear his footsteps no more, then waited a bit longer to compose herself before going before the king. He would likely see right through her, but she would do her best to put on a good act._

_Taking a deep breath, Elanor walked steadily towards the door, the guard there coming into view._

" _The king requested my presence," she said, meeting his eye. He nodded and stepped aside allowing her to enter. She opened the door and stepped in, doing her best to regulate her breathing with each step. She saw the king standing at a table, calmly sipping at a goblet of wine though there was anger in his eyes. "My lord…" Thranduil turned to look at her, his expression softening slightly. "You wished to see me?"_

" _Yes, Elanor. Come," he said, holding his hand out as he stepped towards her. She stepped up to him, taking his hand as he led her back towards the table and offered her a seat. He placed his goblet down and moved to pour one for her._

" _Thank you, my lord," she said softly, taking it from him and sipping at it, unable to bring herself to meet his eyes. She worried he would see the pain there and know she had overheard the interaction between him and Legolas._

" _I have asked you here to discuss something of great importance," he said._

" _What is it, my lord?" she asked._

" _You know that I have always favored your family. Your father has long been my close confidant. And your mother… such a bright and lovely presence here in these halls. You remind me so much of her," he said._

" _Thank you, my lord. You are too kind," she murmured._

" _And you have grown not only into a beautiful elleth, but a strong fighter and rather learned. You are kind and understanding. Diplomatic. These are all qualities that I wish my son shared," he continued._

" _Legolas has his own strengths," she said quickly, looking up at him. "He is also kind and considerate. The others, they do respect and look up to him. He has the makings of a great leader." Thranduil smiled slightly, a rare and fleeting sight._

" _Another of your qualities I admire… the ability to see the best in anyone," he said. "I am of the mind that there is no one in my kingdom who would make a greater match for my son than you."_

_Elanor tensed slightly, the words Legolas shouted earlier still running through her mind._

" _But… what if he does not wish this?" she found herself asking._

" _He will come around," Thranduil said quickly. Elanor met his eyes, hers wide. He sighed and stepped towards her. "Do not fret. I know that he cares for you. With time, he will come to see you as a suitable partner… not his childhood playmate." Elanor nodded and looked down at the goblet._

" _These are… there are many things that I must think over. May I go to my chambers, my lord?" she asked softly._

" _Yes, you may," Thranduil said. Elanor stood and bowed to the king before quickly making her way out of the chambers and towards her own. They were not far from where the royal family dwelled. A location that the king's favor granted them._

_She walked in and shut the door behind her, leaning against it as she finally let the tears fall. Now that she was alone, she found she could not hold her emotions in check as she slowly fell to the ground and leaned her head against her knees, the tears staining the silk of her dress._

_She had suspected that Legolas did not return her feelings. Also, that he held a certain amount of affection for Tauriel. But still, not knowing had allowed a small bubble of hope to remain. Now that had been smashed. She knew the king was trying to comfort her the best he could - telling her that with time Legolas might come to love her, but a part of her mind called out that that would never be._

" _What am I to do with myself," she whispered, wiping the tears from her cheeks._

* * *

Later that day, Elanor sat in the great, open day room of the home, staring out into the branches of the trees. It was her favorite place and she was often there. In the beginning, to find peace and healing. Then gradually, Haldir would begin to visit her there. She would often sit and read. Or sometimes write. Or sometimes she would just sit and stare out, allowing her thoughts to wander.

Softly, she began humming, then gradually singing. It was a lullaby her mother would often sing to her as a child. She closed her eyes as she became lost in warm memories of sitting at her mother's knee, enraptured with her as she sang to her while brushing her long elegant fingers through her hair. There were many songs - stories of the past, stories of the seasons, stories of the beauty of nature. And Elanor still remembered them all by heart.

She missed her mother dearly even though she had been gone nearly 2,000 years now. Her face and warm words were never far from Elanor's mind. Often she had sang of Lothlorien, her first home. Elanor had been enchanted with it, often wishing to visit. When she arrived 100 years ago, she nearly could not believe she was finally walking the paths and halls where her mother grew up, finding that her words, as beautiful as they were, still did not do it justice.

Her mind wandered to the chest in her rooms that contained keepsakes of her mother's that her father had sent not long after she arrived. Journals written in her elegant hand. Her jewelry and circlets. Even the gown she had worn on her wedding day. She had hoped that one day Elanor would wear it on her own. Elanor supposed that day could still come.

Suddenly, Elanor stopped, her eyes flying open as she looked towards the open door, finding Legolas standing there.

"Please, do not stop on my account. I have missed hearing you sing," he said, smiling. For a moment, Elanor could not respond as flashes of their shared past flinted through her mind. She then remembered herself and stood, offering a strained smile.

"I'm afraid I do not sing as much as I did before," she admitted. "Mostly just here when I am by myself."

Legolas stepped into the room, slowly making his way towards her as though he feared she would skitter off at any sudden movement.

"That is a shame," he said.

"Come now, Legolas. We both know my mother was the real singer," she said softly. He nodded.

"As a child, I used to think she had the ability to make flowers bloom with just the sound of her voice," Legolas said. Elanor laughed softly.

"I did as well," she said. She motioned for him to sit in the other chair. She was not sure that she could handle too long in his presence alone, but etiquette won out over her fear. Not to mention, there was a burning inside her to prove to herself that she could do this. That she had the strength to finally and truly move beyond what she felt back in Mirkwood for the elf prince.

"Are you happy here, Elanor?" Legolas asked suddenly, his gaze unreadable. "Have you been happy here all these years?"

"I am happy," Elanor said honestly. "I have come to see Caras Galadhon as my home. I have been welcomed here." He nodded, looking out over the city.

"It is beautiful. I can see how it brings you peace," he said, glancing at her. "Though I had hoped that someday you would return. I know that your father misses you greatly."

"We converse regularly. Through letters," she said. "He has been to visit." Legolas frowned.

"When?" he asked, not remembering when Ailmar had left Mirkwood for any amount of time.

"It must have been while you were away," Elanor said, looking back out to the forest. "He has come two or three times over the years when your father could spare him."

"I see," Legolas said. He looked over studying her. Today she seemed to be the picture of calm and tranquility, unlike their first meeting when she was tense. Almost scared.

"How is your father?" Elanor asked. "It has been a while since I've had news from Mirkwood."

"He is as he usually is," Legolas said, his brow furrowed.

"It would seem there is still tension between you," she said. It was so easy to begin falling into their old ways. Speaking openly with each other. She was rather surprised at herself. The sharp pain in her heart had now seemed to ebb to a dull throb.

"There will always be tension between us," Legolas said.

"I do think if you would spend more time speaking with him, it would help," Elanor said with a sigh. Legolas glanced over at her, a hint of a smile on his face.

"If it has not happened by now, Elanor, I highly doubt that we will ever get along," he replied. "You are the only person who seems to have garnered any measure of warmth from him. You and your mother, that is."

"Perhaps because I listen to him more than I yell," Elanor replied.

"You certainly enjoyed yelling at me, once upon a time," Legolas said.

"You deserved it," Elanor replied, chuckling. "I do hope that you have improved your listening skills in the past 100 years."

"I have," Legolas said. "I have changed in many ways." Elanor raised an eyebrow.

"Finally realized there is more to life than brandishing a bow and sword?" she asked.

"Unfortunately, that is still a rather large part of my life," he said with a heavy sigh. Elanor nodded slowly, looking back out to the city as she frowned slightly.

"I nearly forgot," she said. "Being here within these walls, it is easy to not think of the coming darkness. But your presence as made it all too real."

"We must all fight," Legolas said calmly. Though he glanced at her cautiously.

"That is true. The time will come when even I will need to help protect our borders," Elanor said, still frowning.

"What if you were to join our party?" Legolas asked suddenly. Elanor looked over at him, perplexed. Where would such a suggestion come from?

"I highly doubt that I am necessary on such a journey," she said. "Besides, it has been far too long since I have seen any sort of action off the training grounds."

"Your skill is too great to fade, Elanor. And as you have seen, we are short a member now. It would be useful to have another skilled with blade and bow. While the hobbits certainly contain the proper… enthusiasm to defend themselves, they lack the ability to do much," he said. Elanor looked down at her hands folded calmly in her lap.

"No, Legolas," she said, not meeting his eyes. "I will not go with you. My place is here now."

"With Haldir?" he asked. Elanor looked up at him.

"With my mother's people," she said. He nodded and looked away from her, his jaw tensing slightly.

"You two seem rather close," he said. Elanor's eyebrows raised delicately as a torrent of opposing feelings swept through her. Was this jealousy? Rather than dwelling on the thought, she pushed it aside quickly, not wishing to go down that path. She knew by now that any sort of hope regarding Legolas would only lead to pain. It was likely his brother-like tendencies coming into play.

"We are rather fond of each other," she said. "He often visits me. Has helped me with my training." Legolas nodded, falling silent. The easiness that had settled had now dissipated as Elanor shifted in her chair, glancing at him.

"And your father… he knows of this?" Legolas asked.

"He does," Elanor answered. "He is fond of Haldir as well."

He looked over at her, calmly studying her profile as she looked down at her hands folded in her lap.

"It does not bother him that he is Silvan?" Legolas asked. Elanor winced, her thoughts returning to the memory from those years ago. The day her heart broke into a million tiny shards.

"No, it does not," she said, looking over at him. "My father is not like yours."

"I know he is not," Legolas replied. "There were many times when I wished that he had been my father." Elanor rose from her chair and glided across the room to the balcony, feeling her chest tighten the longer she was in his presence. Perhaps she was not ready for this.

"Elanor, I…" Legolas stopped as she turned to look at him over her shoulder.

"Yes?" she asked. He shook his head and looked away, seeming to struggle with his words. Elanor frowned as she turned back to the balcony. "Perhaps… you should leave."

Legolas stood gracefully, his brow furrowed.

"Have I offended you?" he asked.

"No," Elanor said, without turning around. "Just… I… I am tired. I rose early today to see Haldir off." Legolas nodded.

"Of course," he said. He turned and walked towards the door, stopping just before he crossed the threshold to look back at her once again. Elanor had bent over, her hand gently wiping across her face. With one last sigh, he turned and left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Folks who read the other version will likely find parts of this chapter familiar. I ended up changing what I had written for that story as the first sit-down meeting between Elanor and Legolas to this one (what I wrote originally) though tweaked it to fit that universe and such.
> 
> And god, writing that memory where she overhears Legolas tell his father that he's in love with Tauriel broke my heart. I felt so terrible for Elanor...


	4. Chapter 4

Elanor stood on the balcony and watched as Legolas left, walking off towards the clearing where the rest of the fellowship was gathered. She looked away, turning back into the room so that he could not see her as she fought against the tears.

She had thought herself strong enough to handle a simple conversation with him. While it had started easy enough, the more they spoke, the more the old memories came rearing their ugly heads. It was only a matter of time before he asked the one question she was not sure she could answer.

Why she had left.

Sighing, she left the day room and walked to her rooms, shutting the door behind her. She did not wish to be bothered by anyone as she struggled to stem the onslaught of memories. While Mirkwood was never far from her mind, she had found it easier over the years to think of other things – her father, her mother. But there were so many, many memories that were tied to Legolas. She could never fully push him from her mind no matter how she tried.

* * *

_Elanor stood nervously in her chambers as her servant laid out the various parts of an elaborate gown. There was to be a feast that night and for the first time, her mother had insisted she wear something more adult than her usual gowns. She was now 60 and nearly an adult, she had said to her that morning. In just 40 more years, she would be considered a lady and it was time she began getting used to such status._

_All Elanor wanted to do was train and ride horses with Legolas._

" _Would you stop fretting, my lady. You will look magnificent," her maid said, grinning at her. Elanor smiled nervously and nodded, too anxious to speak. "Dare say you will grab more than one eligible elf's eye."_

" _Phelorna, please," she said, huffing. Catching the eye of anyone was far from her mind. She wanted to learn how to fight first. Courting could come later after she was fully of age. The older elf woman just chuckled._

" _Elanor!" Legolas shouted as he bounded into her rooms. Elanor nearly gave a shriek as she rushed behind a screen, suddenly feeling rather vulnerable in just her shift. Her body had finally settled into most of its changes, but she was used to binding herself for training. She felt practically naked as she was._

" _Legolas!" she shouted. "I am undressed!"_

" _It's not as though I haven't seen you in a nightdress before," he replied as he walked over and sat in a chair, propping his feet up on a nearby table._

" _I am in nothing but a shift!" she exclaimed, peering around the edge of the screen._

" _She has a point, my lord," Phelorna said, giving Legolas a stern look, though it was tempered by a chuckle._

" _I am not yet ready," Elanor added, filling her cheeks heat up as she hid behind the screen again._

" _Since when did you care about decorum?" Legolas asked._

" _We are not children anymore, Legolas!" Elanor replied. "We are both 60!"_

" _But you've only just reached your full height," Legolas replied with a smile. Elanor rolled her eyes._

" _Oh, shut it!" she shouted, tempted to stamp her foot. "I am nearly the same height as you now!"_

" _I am bored," he said with a sigh. "Entertain me."_

" _Such a selfish prince, you are," Elanor shouted, her hands on her hips even though she knew he could not see her. "I am getting ready, can't you see?"_

" _You can still talk to me," Legolas said. Phelorna chuckled again as she picked up the gown and moved behind the screen._

" _I am not some sort of toy that you can demand speak to you whenever you wish," Elanor retorted as Phelorna began to dress her._

" _But you always talk to me," Legolas said, a hint of pouting in his voice._

" _Because I'm the only friend you've got," Elanor said. "Everyone else thinks you are too annoying."_

" _I have other friends," Legolas said, sitting up in the chair, his feet dropping to the floor._

" _Then go bother them," Elanor said._

" _But you're my best friend," he said. "I want to talk to you, not the others." Elanor huffed as she lifted her arms for Phelorna to pull the gown over her head._

" _Fine," she said, relenting. "You can stay." Legolas grinned from his chair and leaned back, propping his feet up again._

" _You were missed at training today," he said._

" _Trust me, I would have rather been there," Elanor said as Phelorna yanked her in various directions as she did up the laces of her gown. "OW! THAT'S TOO TIGHT!"_

" _It is the fashion, my lady," Phelorna said._

" _How does anyone breath in these things?" Elanor retorted, feeling as though she wouldn't be able to eat a bite at the feast that night._

" _You will get used to it with time," Phelorna replied._

" _Does it really take so long to get ready for a feast?" Legolas asked. "I've been ready for ages."._

" _Be glad you're not an elleth," Elanor said as Phelorna yanked her again. "And I thought it was bad when she was fixing my hair."_

" _Oh hush, young lady. You will look every bit a grown elf when I'm done with you," Phelorna replied._

" _What happened at training today?" Elanor asked. "It is your turn to talk. Distract me from the pain."_

" _Don't be so overdramatic. I'm sure it is not that bad," Legolas scoffed. Elanor winced._

" _Let's put you in a gown and see how you feel," she said through gritted teeth._

" _That is no way for a young lady to speak!" Phelorna chided._

" _Orist got bested by Mryddin," Legolas said, the smile on his face clear through his voice._

" _Finally, someone wipes the constant smirk off him," Elanor replied._

" _I am eagerly awaiting to see you spar with him," Legolas said. "You've already beaten him at the bow."_

" _Thanks to your help," Elanor replied._

" _There! The young lady is finished!" Phelorna said gleefully. "Now go look at yourself!"_

_Elanor stepped out from behind the screen, feeling very much restricted in the torso, though the sleeves were long and she was sure she'd trip on them. She was so busy trying to hold her arms up as she walked that the sudden "thunk" caused her to jump. She looked over, seeing Legolas sprawled on the floor, the chair he was sitting in having fallen over backwards. He must have been leaning back in it, as usual._

_Nimbly, he got to his feet and righted the chair, being careful not to look at Elanor._

" _Seems the young lord has taken quite a shock," Phelorna said, grinning, as Elanor continued to stare at him, perplexed._

" _Just not used to seeing Elanor look… so… exposed," he said, glancing up at her. Elanor looked down at the dress which sat off her shoulders. Other than that, she was still very much covered. She looked up at him, still confused._

" _I am not exposed," she said, her cheeks heating up. To be honest after glimpsing at herself in the mirror in the forest green dress, she thought she looked rather grownup and beautiful. She had been hoping her friend would think so as well._

" _You look lovely, Young Lady Elanor," Phelorna said. "You will gain some attention tonight, I believe." Elanor looked over at her. "Likely that handsome Oren will turn an eye towards you." Elanor blushed slightly. Oren was not much older and Elanor did find him rather handsome, though usually kept such thoughts to herself._

" _Oren is insufferable. You shan't wish him to look at you in favor," Legolas said, causing Elanor to look over at him._

" _Well, what if I should?" she said haughtily, sticking her nose in the air._

" _Doesn't matter. He won't notice you. Not looking like that. Your arms are too spindly, and the dress makes you look like a twig," Legolas said. Elanor glared at him a moment, feeling tears prick at her eyes._

" _Young Master Legolas," Phelorna said. "That is no way to speak to the young lady."_

" _It's true," he said, sticking his chin out._

" _Get out!" Elanor shouted, pointing her finger towards the door. "Get out or so help me I will sock you!"_

" _Fine. Getting rather insufferable in here anyway," he said before turning on his heels and marching out._

" _Pay him no mind, my lady. He is young and foolish," Phelorna said soothingly. "And likely embarrassed from falling out of his chair at the sight of you." Elanor nodded as she walked over to the mirror to get a better look at herself. She tried to tell herself that she looked beautiful but could not help but see the twig Legolas had mentioned._

" _I am not a twig," she muttered to herself before turning and striding out of the room._

* * *

Legolas strode into the clearing where the four hobbits were sitting around a fire, chatting happily. Well, all but Frodo, who was still quiet and distant. Gimli sat nearby, chuckling and smoking a pipe. Not far off, Boromir and Aragorn stood talking quietly, though they stopped and looked over at Legolas when he arrived.

"Legolas," Aragorn said, motioning him over. The elf made his way to them, carefully arranging his expression into one of neutrality, hoping to not draw attention to his thoughts. "Where have you been? There are many things we must discuss before we continue on our journey."

"I was meeting with the Lady Elanor," he said casually. A smile twitched across Boromir's face.

"Ah, the lovely young elf woman you seem to enjoy watching," he said. "Seems you have taken a fancy to her."

"She is an old friend from Mirkwood that I have not seen in a very long time," he said, not offering anymore explanation. Boromir studied him a moment.

"Is that it?" he asked, starting to smile more. "Well, she is quite fair. I see what draws your interest."

"I warn you not to speak crudely of her," Legolas said quickly, his mask dropping slightly. Boromir just chuckled as he raised his hands.

"I do not intend to speak ill of her. Just that you have seem distracted by her presence since we arrived," he said. "Though she was looking rather familiar with the marchwarden last night."

"Boromir," Aragorn said with an exasperated sigh.

"What? We're in need of a bit of entertainment," Boromir replied. In an instant, Legolas had pulled a dagger and placed it at Boromir's throat, his eyes flashing in anger.

"Say one more word about the Lady Elanor and I will slit you," he said, his voice low with warning. Boromir's smile faded from his face as he scowled at him.

"Legolas! Enough," Aragorn said. Legolas glanced at him and then back at Boromir, lowering his dagger. The happy chatter from the fire had stopped as everyone in the party stopped to watch. With a final glare, Boromir walked off.

"What has gotten into you?" Aragorn whispered in Elvish.

"My apologies… I do not seem myself lately," Legolas replied. "She refused my offer to join our party." Aragorn's eyes widened in shock.

"Why would you ask such a thing? And without consulting the rest of us?" he asked.

"We are short a member and she is a strong fighter. We could use her," Legolas replied.

"She is not part of this journey," Aragorn hissed. "I do not know what lies in your past with her, but do not get distracted, Legolas. We must stay focused." Legolas looked at the ground. "Whatever it is between you and her, either resolve it before we leave or put it aside until our quest has ended."

"I understand," Legolas said, looking up at Aragorn. Despite the fact he was centuries older, sometimes he felt the future king held more wisdom than he would ever possess. "It will no longer be a problem." He then strode off to find a place where he could be alone with his thoughts.

"What's gotten into him?" he heard Merry ask as he walked away.

"Leave it," Aragorn replied.

"I think Lady Elanor is lovely," Pippin declared. "In fact, I think I'll pay a visit."

"Not without me," Merry said.

"Come on, all of us'll go," Pippin replied. "You too, Mr. Frodo…"

Before they could say anything more, Legolas had moved out of earshot, going deeper into the wood surrounding the city. Once he felt he was a sufficient distance to be left alone, he sat among the roots of a tree and leaned against the trunk as he closed his eyes.

He was unsure what exactly it was he said that had put her on edge. What it was that had her suddenly send him away. Their talk had started out easily enough. Much like the old days. In fact, he had been more than happy to see her relaxed and conversing with him about old memories.

But then she had turned cold and he knew that he was at fault, bringing up Haldir and her ancestry. He winced as he remembered where he had heard those same words before, though they were being spoken to him. Was he not once in love with a Silvan himself? Did not his own father deny him the chance to be with her even though he had loved her at the time?

Legolas had long made his peace with Tauriel. She had chosen another and then left when the grief of losing him became too much to bear while he too had gone his separate way, seeking his own resolution. Perhaps it was not truly love if he could so easily put his feelings for her aside. But he had never stopped thinking of Elanor. The pain of her sudden departure from his life with no information on why she left or where she went had always been ripe, so much so that he could not bring himself to mention it to others.

He had buried it deep inside him, though he had mentioned her to Aragorn once or twice. But without her, he had felt adrift. As if there was no longer any anchor to his life. He had always assumed that Elanor would be there in some fashion - even when he was convinced that he was in love with Tauriel.

He wondered what could have been. If he had put Tauriel aside then and turned his thoughts to Elanor. Would his affection for her have come sooner? Would they have married? Would she have stayed?

Or was this the path that they were meant to follow all along?

His thoughts then returned to her coldness. There were very few times he had seen that in her, though most of them in the few years just before she left. Even still, he felt a pain in his heart. What had he missed?

* * *

" _Elanor!" Legolas called out as he strode into the stables. She looked up from where she had been brushing down her mare, eyes wide._

" _Legolas, what brings you here?" she asked, quickly turning back to her work._

" _You were not in your rooms and your maid said you would be here," he replied, stepping up to her side._

" _I had just wanted to take care of Muriel," she said, moving away from him. Movement that did not go unnoticed by Legolas. "Is something on your mind?"_

" _Yes," he said, frowning as he thought back to the argument he had had with his father just the day before. He had sought out Elanor earlier but found her busy. This was the first chance he had caught her alone and he desperately needed his dear friend's words of wisdom. "I had… words… with my father that have weighed heavily on my mind."_

" _You always have words with your father that weigh heavily on your mind," Elanor replied brusquely. Legolas glanced at her, confused by her coldness, but shook it off, his thoughts still centered on the fact that his father would not allow him to be with the one he loved._

" _He will not give me permission to wed Tauriel," Legolas said. Elanor stopped brushing as she stared down at the shiny coat of her mare. Legolas looked down at the ground as he began pacing, unaware that Elanor remain frozen. "He will not listen to me."_

_Elanor remained silent though she had started brushing again, this time a bit more fervently. Legolas glanced at her, curious as to why she was acting so strange._

" _I was… unaware your affections ran so deep," she finally said, her eyes fixed on her task. Legolas stopped pacing, beginning to realize why she was upset._

" _I am sorry, Elanor. I did not share my thoughts with you because I was unaware of just how deeply they ran until recently," he said, stepping towards the mare. Elanor remained on the other side, her eyes flicking up to him before returning to the mare. "Please do not take this as a slight against you. You are still my dearest friend."_

" _Think nothing of it. We all have our secrets to keep," she replied. "I assume his refusal had to do with the fact that she is not Sindarin."_

" _Yes," Legolas said, frowning again._

" _What will you do?" she asked._

" _I was hoping perhaps you could speak to him… on my behalf," he said softly. "He always listens to you and has been fond of you." Elanor stopped brushing and stared at him, her blue eyes wide with… something he could not put his finger on. There was a flash of anger there, which confused him._

_But just as quickly as it appeared, it was gone, her face once again calm as she stepped around the mare to his side._

" _You want me to ask your father if he would give you permission to be with Tauriel?" she asked, looking up at him._

" _I love her. Very deeply," Legolas insisted. "I need you to do this for me." Elanor stared at him, her calmness gradually giving way to desperation._

" _Do you realize what you are asking me to do?" she asked softly, her eyes peering into his, pleading for some sort of understanding. He was not sure what she meant._

" _I am asking that you speak to him on my behalf because you are my dearest friend and he listens to you," he replied. Elanor looked away, her demeanor unreadable._

" _I am…" she stopped, unsure how to continue. She swallowed and looked up at him. "I can see that you do not understand." She then turned and began striding out of the stables._

" _Elanor!" Legolas called out, starting to follow her._

" _Do not follow me," she said, not looking back. Legolas stopped, watching as she walked away, his thoughts a swirl of confusion._

_Just what had he said to upset her?_

* * *

Legolas sighed as he opened his eyes, peering up at the branches of the trees above him. Elanor was still very much the enigma that she had been years ago. Whatever had driven her to leave was very obviously still there. And still he had no clue what it was, though she seemed hesitant to mention it to him.

Many times over the years he had imagined being reunited with Elanor, different scenarios floating through his mind. All had been happy and involved laughter and talking until late into the night. Finally learning why she had left. None of them had included finding her happy somewhere else, in the arms of another.

That was the most surprising discovery. He had thought he only longed for her because of their years growing up together. That he missed her as a brother missed a favorite sister. It wasn't until he had seen her at Haldir's side that he realized it was much more than that. That perhaps his affection for her was of another kind. But at the same time, he was not sure. He had thought himself in love with Tauriel before and it was not. Perhaps this was the same.

Sighing again, Legolas looked around the forest. Aragorn was right. There was no time for him to dwell on the past or what could have been. He needed to stay focused. They were only here to recoup before heading out to complete a dangerous journey. One that might bring his death. He then stood and walked back to the others.

He would apologize to Elanor. And then he would let her go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, more of the flashbacks that I borrowed from the original for the new version. And yea, this one is a bit more flashback heavy than the other, I think... Oh, and apparently I gave Boromir a bigger role in this one...


	5. Chapter 5

"We are here to see Lady Elanor!" a voice said loudly and slowly, followed by the soothing lilt of Elvish. Elanor quickened her pace down the stairs, immediately recognizing the familiar voice of Merry.

"I don't think they understand you, Merry," she heard Pippin whisper loudly.

"Well, they understood me fine the other day when we came!" Merry said indignantly.

"That was someone else," Sam pointed out.

Elanor couldn't help but smile to herself as she walked into the grand foyer of the home and saw the group of four hobbits huddled together in front of one of the servants, Daena. Elanor knew for a fact that she understood the common tongue and could speak it fluently, but she had a mischievous streak and was likely playing a joke on the poor halflings.

"Daena, do I have visitors?" she called out in Elvish. The woman turned to see her, eyes wide as she had been caught.

"I was just about to send for you, my lady," she said quickly. Elanor smiled warmly.

"Thank you. I will receive them here, though if you could prepare some tea and perhaps something to eat and take it to the day room?" she said, hoping the servant knew that she was in no trouble with her.

"Yes, my lady," she said, bowing slightly before hurrying off. Elanor then turned her attention to the hobbits, stepping up to them. Merry and Pippin were grinning brightly, while Sam stood back shyly with Frodo, who was busy looking around the grand home.

"We came the other day, but they said you weren't accepting visitors," Merry said.

"My apologies Master Merry, I was needed by Lady Galadriel," she said, lying smoothly. She did not want the hobbits to know that she had stayed in for three days avoiding another meeting with Legolas. "If you'll follow me, I am more than happy to receive you now." She then turned and started up the staircase, going slowly so that the hobbits could follow.

"This is a grand house," Pippin said in awe as he looked around.

"It is the home of Galadriel and Celeborn," Elanor said. "And I suppose mine as well."

"Right, you said that they are your aunt and uncle," Merry said. Elanor looked back at them, noticing Frodo looking at her in awe.

"Yes, my great aunt and uncle. My mother was the daughter of Galadriel's brother Angrod," she explained gently.

"Have you always lived here, Lady Elanor?" Sam asked.

"Are you daft? You know she grew up with Legolas," Merry hissed at him.

"Begging your pardon, then," Sam said.

"It is fine, Master Samwise," Elanor said, leading them from a landing down a hallway. She then turned and walked into the day room, happy to see that more chairs had been brought in for her guests and that they were smaller, making it easier for them to climb into them. "Please be seated. I am sure tea and food will be along shortly." She moved to sit in a large comfy chair closest to the open balcony.

All the hobbits were immediately taken in by the view, moving quickly to the balcony to look out.

"This is amazing," Merry said, his eyes wide. "You can see the whole city from here."

"I am happy to see that you enjoy my home," she said.

"How do they build these?" Pippin asked, turning to look at her. Elanor thought for a moment before realizing she had no idea.

"I am not sure. These dwellings have been here for thousands of years. Long before I was born," she admitted.

"Oh, well… ours are rather simple. They just dig them out of the hills," Pippin said, walking over to sit in the chair closest to her.

"You live in… holes?" Elanor asked.

"Burrows," Merry said, following Pippin. "They are quite cozy. And have just about anything you need. Frodo has a nice home, indeed. Probably the best in Hobbiton." Elanor turned her gaze to the quiet hobbit.

"I am not sure of that, but Bag End is home," he said, smiling slightly.

"Bag End," Elanor mused. "Seems a good name for a home." Frodo's smile grew as he and Sam moved to sit next to Merry and Pippin. "I hope that you all are getting plenty of rest."

"Oh, we are, Lady Elanor," Sam said eagerly, seeming to lose his shyness. "We've been on the move for so long, it's nice to stay in one place for a bit. And the elves here are quite hospitable."

"That is good to hear," she replied as a few servants walked in with trays of tea and food. They placed them on a nearby table. "Please, help yourselves." The hobbits all stood and moved to fill their plates with food and grab cups of tea as a servant handed Elanor a plate that she placed on a small table near her and then a cup with tea. She sipped at it, watching the hobbits as they situated themselves with food and drink rather noisily in amusement.

"It is true the leaves of the wood turn gold in the autumn?" Pippin asked once he had chewed and swallowed his second mouthful of cheese.

"It tis," Elanor replied.

"I should like to see that," Sam said.

"Perhaps when your journey has ended you can return in the autumn to see for yourself," Elanor replied. Sam's face lit up.

"Are all elves so tall and beautiful?" Merry asked.

"Merry!" Pippin chided as Elanor chuckled.

"I suppose we are," she said, finding it rather entertaining to answer their seemingly unending supply of questions.

"I wasn't sure. We've only met them in Rivendale," Merry said, shooting a frown at Pippin before smiling at Elanor. "And well, Legolas."

"It seems now you have met elves from all of the elven kingdoms," Elanor replied before taking another sip of her tea.

"Are you all good fighters?" Pippin asked.

"Not all of us are meant to be warriors, though I suppose most learn some level of fighting skills," Elanor replied.

"But you can fight," Merry said. Elanor smiled.

"I was on the king's guard in Mirkwood for many years," she said. "It was not common for someone of my station to have such a position, but I wanted to learn. My mother and father also felt it important that I learn such skills should I need them."

"So, you knew Legolas' father? The king?" Sam asked. Elanor nodded.

"He and my father are great friends," she said. "I spent much time with King Thranduil when I was in Mirkwood."

"That must have been something," Sam said. "What is it like? Mirkwood?"

"It is much like here, a large forest. The King's Hall is but a small portion of the forest. And the trees are different. They are tall with many branches, but very unlike the Mallorn trees that grow here. Our climate remains mild throughout the year."

"They don't live in trees as well," Merry said, putting on a bit of an air at having already heard of Mirkwood. "Rather a giant hall built into the forest."

"Yes, that is true," Elanor said, smiling.

The afternoon continued on for a few more hours, with Elanor laughing often and brightly at the many tales the hobbits had. It would seem they were natural storytellers with long memories. As the sun was beginning to sink lower in the skies, it was with great reluctance that Elanor sent them on their way.

She stood just outside the home, watching as they walked off, the four laughing and talking loudly as they went. A soft smile came across her face as a lightness spread through her. It had happened so rarely over the past century that it surprised her. It had been such a long time since she had been such a bright, happy presence.

* * *

" _Elanor!" Legolas shouted as he spurred his horse faster. She glanced back at him over her shoulder before turning her attention forward and leaning down closer to the horse._

" _Fly like the wind," she murmured into the mare's ear, urging her to go faster. She laughed loudly as the horse quickened its pace._

" _Elanor!"_

_Finally, she gave in, reining her horse in and turning to watch as Legolas caught up to her._

" _I will best you next time," he said, grinning at her._

" _You say that every time you lose," Elanor replied with a smirk as she kicked her horse and started down the path again, though going at a leisurely pace. "And you always lose."_

" _Or perhaps I am being a gentleman and allowing you to win," Legolas countered. Elanor rolled her eyes._

" _You, dear Legolas, do not know how to be a gentleman. At least not to me," she retorted._

" _I protest," Legolas said, smiling at her._

" _You called me a twig," Elanor shot back._

" _That was over 1,000 years ago, Elanor," Legolas replied. "I have learned since then."_

" _What? That I am indeed not a twig?" she asked, raising an eyebrow at him._

" _I have learned not to call you a twig to your face," he replied. Elanor rolled her eyes._

" _At least I am not a sore loser," she replied, smiling at him. Legolas just chuckled as he shook his head. The two rode a bit further in silence. "Will you be joining us on patrol tomorrow?"_

" _Not this time," Legolas said. "Father wishes that I oversee training of the younger elves." Elanor wrinkled her nose slightly._

" _Sounds absolutely boring," she replied._

" _Likely to be. I'd much rather be out in the forest with you. Or anywhere, really, as long as you're there," he said. A bubble of warmth began to spread through Elanor's stomach as she smiled to herself. But just as quickly, she pushed it aside, glancing nervously at Legolas._

" _I am rather agreeable. Much more agreeable than Fenris," she said airily._

" _A rock would be much more agreeable than Fenris," Legolas said. "But Father insists. He says that I must make sure that those who will be joining me in protecting our lands are being properly trained."_

" _Fenris trained both of us, so I am not sure why the king insists you oversee him," Elanor replied. "Though I suppose I turned out the way I did mostly because of pure talent." Legolas glanced over at her as she grinned cheekily._

" _If my father heard you speak so freely, I doubt he would see you so warmly," he said._

" _We both know that I only speak this way with you," Elanor replied, huffing slightly. "Or Oren…"_

" _Or any of those that you go out on patrol with," Legolas added. "My father would be surprised…"_

" _Or he would just love me even more," Elanor said lightly. "I am the daughter he always wished he had…"_

" _Some days I think you are the child he wished he had," Legolas said, his voice slightly strained. Elanor studied him a moment. There had long been tension between father and son – that was no secret – but only Elanor knew just how deeply Thranduil's words could cut Legolas. He had long learned to hide whatever negative emotion his father ignited in him from the world. But despite being well over 2,000, he still could not hide his feelings from his friend._

_She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it. Just that small touch was enough to send sparks throughout her body._

" _He does love you… in his own way," she said softly. Legolas looked over at her and smiled briefly._

" _Whatever would I do without you, Elanor?" he asked. She laughed softly. "Shall I dine in your family chambers tonight?"_

" _You do nearly every night," Elanor said, pulling her hand from his. As soon as she let go, the sparks disappeared. She shook her head slightly, hoping that her cheeks did not betray the thoughts going through her mind. "Dare say Father orders the servants to bring extra regardless."_

" _It is much more lively than dining with my father," Legolas said with a sigh._

" _Then I suppose I shall inform father when we arrive back at the hall," Elanor said, smiling. She then kicked her horse, spurring it forward in a burst of speed._

" _Elanor!" Legolas called out._

" _Catch me if you can!"_

* * *

"It has been many years since I have seen such a smile," a voice said. Elanor turned slightly, seeing Legolas step from behind a tree. The smile quickly slid from her face as her eyes widened in surprise. She had been so lost in the memory that she did not hear him approach.

"Legolas," she said, nodding her head towards him.

"Did you have a nice visit with the hobbits?" Legolas asked, keeping back from her.

"I did," she replied. "They are such lively folk."

"They have many stories, many songs to share," Legolas said. Elanor nodded.

"If you'll excuse me," she said, turning to walk back into the house.

"Please, don't leave. I only came to apologize," he said quickly, moving towards her. Elanor stopped and looked over at him. "I have obviously caused you pain and that is the last thing I would ever wish to do." Elanor was silent as she studied him. "I fear I have hurt you deeply… even before you left… and I just… I am deeply sorry."

She looked to the ground a few moments, many thoughts flying through her mind. It was obvious that he still had no clue why she had left, but part of her still did not wish to speak it aloud to him.

That was a conversation her heart was not yet prepared to make.

"I thank you for that," she said softly, looking back up at him. She could tell that he was hoping she would further explain. A slight hint of frustration, then desperation, settled in his eyes.

"I just… I wish that we could return to what we once were," he said. "I know that… that it is not easily done. But I do wish that we could try, at least for the remainder of our time here."

Elanor was quiet, but then smiled slightly.

"I suppose that we could… try," she said.

"Would you care to join me on a walk?" he asked. "Not far. I know that it is nearly suppertime."

"I suppose," she said. "But… as hard as it may be, please do not ask me more about why I left. I will tell you in time… but it is still difficult for me to speak of." There. Perhaps they could attempt an easy conversation.

Legolas was silent a few moments before nodding.

"I promise," he said. He then held his hand out, motioning for her to move down a path. Elanor stepped over to his side and the two moved slowly, each lost in their own thoughts for a time, as Legolas settled his arms behind his back. He had almost expected her to loop her arm through his as she did in the past. Part of him was saddened that she did not. It was yet another reminder that he did not know this new Elanor.

"I have missed you," he said finally, glancing at her. Elanor glanced down at the ground and then back up at the forest. "Everything changed when you left."

"Surely not that much," she replied, finally saying something.

"It did. First you and then… nothing was as it used to be," he said.

They were both silent a few moments, unsure of where to go from there. Elanor glanced at him and then back at the path. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Perhaps a good place to start was with a happier memory.

"Do you remember the feast when you slipped a frog into your father's soup?" she asked. Legolas stopped and looked down at her, a smile playing at his lips.

"Your mother managed to fish it out and send for another before he saw," he replied. "It was likely a good thing, too."

"Mother did give us a rather harsh scolding that night, though I fear what your father would have done," Elanor recalled. "I was the one who found the frog after all."

"But it was my idea to put the frog in my father's soup," Legolas said. "Then there was the time we got in trouble for taking your father's steed from the stables."

"The tongue-lashing we got that day," Elanor said. She smiled softly to herself. Not all memories were bad. So long as she kept her thoughts to those from their childhood. She looked over at him, finding that more than the pain of losing him, she felt pity for the friendship she had lost.

"I have… missed you as well, Legolas," she said. He stopped walking and looked over at her, hope filling his eyes. "I miss what we once had."

"Then what is keeping us from returning to that time," he asked. He reached out and took her hands, holding them firmly in his own. Elanor looked down at them, her eyes widening slightly as she felt a small prick of a spark. She should have known that it would still be there, but she hoped that it was not.

"Those times are gone," she said, pulling her hands from his and continuing to walk. She could not look at him, for fear she would dare to hope for other things. Legolas followed her, grabbing her arm and turning her to face him.

"Whatever it is I did… was it such a grievance that our friendship is lost forever?" he asked, his blue eyes full of concern. Elanor quickly looked away, afraid of what she might see if she looked deeper. "Look at me, Elanor."

She closed her eyes briefly and then looked up, finally meeting his eyes. She nearly gasped, finding them swirling with concern. But also, a softness that she had never seen him bestow upon her. She had only seen such a thing enter his eyes when he was gazing upon Tauriel. She blinked, feeling her chest tighten.

_No,_ she told herself firmly. She would not go down that cursed road again. It led only to pain. She had found peace in Lothlorien. She had mended herself. More than that, she had found happiness. And Haldir. There was a slight pain in her heart as her thoughts turned to the marchwarden. She felt guilty that she had almost fallen into the same trap as before.

"Why do you refuse to tell me what happened?" he asked softly.

"Things have changed, Legolas," she said softly, taking a step back from him. "I cannot promise the closeness that we once had, but perhaps with time we shall build something new." She then started to walk back to the house.

"Elanor…"

"Leave me be, Legolas," she said, quickening her pace.

Legolas stood still and watched as she left, the hurt from before seeping back into his heart. He had wanted to make things right, not injure her further. However, he was beginning to think that he would be unable to do such a thing until he learned just why she had run from Mirkwood.

"Ah, seems your visit with the lass has been cut short," Gimli said amiably, walking up to him. Legolas glanced down at the dwarf and then back at Elanor who was stepping up the staircase that wound around the trunk of the large tree.

"It has," Legolas said. "She hides things from me."

"Haven't you learned by now? That's just how women are," Gimli said, chuckling. Legolas frowned, still watching as Elanor ascended the staircase. "Come on then. If we tarry too much longer, the hobbits will have eaten all the food."

"Of course," Legolas said, turning to follow Gimli back to their lodgings.

They had a bit more time in Caras Galadhon. He would find out just what she was hiding before they left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man, going through this one again, I forgot how much angst was in it… And the more I read through it to do some clean-up editing, the more I wonder if I should just finish this... though now I need a different ending than the one I had for the other version...


	6. Chapter 6

A few days later, Elanor grunted as she swung the sword, easily blocking what could have been a devastating blow. She pushed off and then spun around, quickly knocking her opponent to his feet. The elf – Elidren – chuckled as he stared up at her sword point.

"You've finally surpassed me, Lady Elanor," he said. Elanor smiled as she sheathed her sword and held a hand out to help him up.

"Dare say I surpassed you long ago," she quipped.

"This is true. Just how is it you've managed to avoid joining the guard?" he asked, brushing off his breeches. "I know for a fact that Haldir has been after you to join for the better part of a century now."

"Beginning to think more and more that I should," she replied, grimacing slightly as her thoughts turned to the fellowship. It would have been so easy to join him and avoid most interaction with Legolas altogether. Granted, part of her knew that Galadriel would have likely found some reason to make her stay.

"But then you would have missed our guests. I've seen the halflings visiting with you often," he said.

"I've grown rather fond of them," she said. "I find them refreshing."

"They are entertaining," he replied. He then bowed slightly. "If it's alright, I shall take my leave."

"Till next time," Elanor said. Elidren then turned and moved quickly back towards the center of the city.

"So, you are good with a blade," a voice called out. Elanor turned, seeing the Gondorian leaning against a tree. Boromir, she recalled. She had not spoken with him much, finding something about him slightly unhinged and unsettling. He pushed off from the tree and walked towards her, smiling warmly as if to put her at ease.

"I fare well enough," Elanor replied, studying him coolly.

"I've been in need of a good sparring partner," he said, his eyes questioning.

"I suppose I can stay a bit longer," Elanor replied, pulling her sword out from its sheath. "Have you sparred with elves before?"

"Here and there," he replied lightly as he began to circle her. Elanor stood calmly, watching his every move. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that the hobbits had taken notice and were scurrying towards the training grounds. "But never against an elf woman."

"Then be prepared for an education," she replied, smiling slightly to herself.

Boromir lunged towards her, but Elanor easily sidestepped out of the way, her sword held at the ready. He grinned as he turned and swung again, the loud clang of steel hitting steel reverberating through the woods.

They then started in a quick back and forth, both taking turns striking and parrying. After a while, Boromir seemed to be losing his breath, though Elanor was still not yet tired. She was grateful for the many sparring sessions with Haldir, who was much more solid that she was. Otherwise Boromir's blows would have been much too jarring.

"Who do you think will win?" Gimli asked, looking up at Legolas. The two had seen the hobbits make their way to the field and followed, curious as to what they were watching.

"Elanor, of course," Legolas replied, a small smile on his face. "I did train with her, after all."

"Who would win in a sparring match between Elanor and you?" Merry asked brightly, looking over at the elf.

"That is much harder to answer," Legolas admitted. "It's been a long time since we last sparred. I haven't seen her fight in 100 years."

"And she's been training with Haldir," Pippin added. "Could have learned new tricks." Legolas frowned at the mention of the marchwarden.

"I wouldn't mind training with her," Merry said. "You think she could show us some things?"

"Merry, you can't fight," Pippin scoffed.

Legolas barely registered the ensuing bickering as he continued to watch Elanor. She was faster. Stronger. Seems her sessions with Haldir had indeed paid off. He wondered if she was still as sure a shot with the bow as before.

More than anything, she was much more relaxed than he had seen in their time in the Golden Wood, allowing her instincts to take over rather than her thoughts. She easily predicted most of Boromir's movements.

Laughter rang out through the field, pulling him from his thoughts as Elanor managed to knock Boromir to the ground in similar fashion to how she had taken down the elf before.

"I am much impressed, Lady Elanor," Boromir said as he stood. "We could use someone like you on the remainder of our journey."

"I fear that is not for me to undertake," Elanor said, sheathing her sword.

"Ah, yes. There is some tension between you and Legolas," Boromir said bluntly. Elanor just stared at him in shock. From the sidelines, Legolas froze just the same, not expecting Boromir to bring that up. "Do not look so surprised. It is rather obvious."

"Then it should be obvious that it is not of your concern," she said brusquely before starting to walk away.

"Come on then, lass. I meant no harm," he said, chuckling.

"Still, harm you have caused," she replied, not looking back at him. He continued to chuckle as she walked away, though Legolas was at his side as soon as she walked out of ear shot.

"You had no right to mention just things," he hissed at the Gondorian. "You know nothing about her or our past."

"And it seems that you are just as in the dark as I am," he replied, starting to walk towards the hobbits. Legolas reached out and grabbed his arm.

"As I said, it is none of your concern," he replied. Boromir stopped and looked over at him, still smiling slightly.

"From what I've gathered, there was something once between you. Though she now appears to be rather fond of the marchwarden. Perhaps that is what truly angers you," he said, pulling his arm from the elf's grasp. Legolas remained where he was, watching as he reached the hobbits and began asking after their day.

There had been nothing between them except friendship. Or had there? He knew now that his affections for her ran deeper, but perhaps… was that what truly led her to leave? He looked off towards her, watching as she stopped when another elf called out. The two seemed to be conversing easily before starting off in the direction of her home together.

He went through all of his memories of her. The many rides through the forest. Training together. Spending time with her parents or in each other's rooms. The way that she smiled at him. Over time, she struggled to look him in the eye, though she appeared happy. How things changed when he began to spend more time with Tauriel.

Had that truly been the reason?

"Elanor, I had expected that you would be with our guests this night," Galadriel said as she stepped into Elanor's rooms later. "The halflings have been spending a large amount of time here."

Elanor nodded, though did not look at her aunt from where she stood on the balcony, staring at the clearing where the fellowship had gathered.

"I was feeling rather tired after training today," she said listlessly as her eyes found Legolas. There was a piercing pain in her heart, but she could not bring herself to look away.

"And it has nothing to do with what Boromir said to you?" Galadriel said. Elanor finally looked over at her, blinking slightly as she felt more tears in her eyes.

"Perhaps it did," she said.

"You must not let words affect you so," Galadriel said. "For they are just that… words."

"But there is truth there," Elanor said with a sigh as she looked back at the clearing. "I still cannot put aside my feelings for him - try as I might. I fear that I am cursed to forever love him even though he loves me not."

"Love comes in many different forms," Galadriel replied as she stepped to her side and looked down at the clearing. "And it would seem that he wishes to at least attempt to repair what was lost."

"How can it be repaired?" Elanor asked. "He loves me not and never will. That will forever hang over us as a dark shadow."

"Not everything has to be so dark," Galadriel said. Elanor shook her head.

"I feel… I am not sure what I feel," she whispered. "Everything seems to bring me pain of late. Even when I think of Haldir… I fear that I shall ruin him."

"Haldir knows your past and your heart. He only wishes that you would be happy," Galadriel said. Elanor looked at her aunt, her eyes wide and rimmed in red.

"But what if I cannot bring him happiness?" she asked softly. "It is not fair to him if he were to be bound to me."

Galadriel smiled sadly and took Elanor's face in her hands.

"As I said, he knows your heart and only wishes for your happiness. I believe that you should only be thinking of what that would be rather than worry for him," she said before kissing her forehead. "Do not let your mind be troubled, my dear Elanor."

She then turned and left the room as Elanor remained on the balcony, thinking over her words. What would truly bring her happiness? At first thought, it was Legolas, though she knew that could not be. And the pain of being at his side while he felt nothing for her was too great to bear. She had found some measure of happiness with Haldir, though she did not wish to cause him pain. And she surely would if she gave into his request.

Sighing, she walked over and sat. Perhaps she was thinking of the wrong sort of happiness. She had found it here in Lothlorien. Forging her own path away from Legolas. And she did enjoy training and making herself useful for her aunt and uncle. Perhaps that is the path where her true happiness laid. Not with either Legolas or Haldir. She did not need another to make her happy.

What's more, there was more she could do. Perhaps it was time to seriously consider joining the patrols. Yes, Haldir would often be there, but putting her hands and skills to good use might be enough for her. She had enjoyed it in Mirkwood. The purpose that it gave her. Perhaps it would be a good start.

She glanced over, seeing her bow and quiver lying on top of a chest along with her sword. She had been good once upon a time and still seemed to carry a measure of skill. Dark times were coming to these lands - were already here. It was time that she stood up and did her part.

Yes, that is what she would do.

Gimli glanced at Legolas as he sat and ate silently. The hobbits were once again entertaining them with stories - how they never seemed to run out was a mystery of itself - but it allowed the two a certain amount of privacy as the rest of their group was now preoccupied.

"What is it that ails you?" he asked softly. Legolas glanced at him, for a moment seeming surprised by the question, but then quickly returned to his usual aloof expression.

"It is nothing," he replied.

"I feel it is something. Perhaps the lass?" Gimli said. A dark look briefly crossed the elf's face. "Do not get offended. I won't speak of her as Boromir did earlier. But I do sense there is trouble there."

"It was… she left so long ago without any word as to why. For a time I thought I would never see her again. And now that I have, I do not know what to make of it," he admitted. "I had thought our reunion would be a happy one, but it is not…"

The dwarf took this in, puffing on his pipe as he thought of what to say. He was unfamiliar with the ways of the elves - even more so with the ways of elf women. Though he thought that Boromir's assessment of the situation may not have been that off. He had noticed how she avoided Legolas and how there was a hint of pain in her eyes whenever she gazed upon him, though she was quick to cover it up. He knew that the two grew up together. It seemed that perhaps she had once had feelings for the elf prince, though he did not know if the elf prince returned them. Nor did he care to ask, seeing how Legolas had reacted earlier. It seemed the Lady Elanor was a sore area for the normally calm elf.

"Well… we shall be setting off shortly. At least then you will have our journey to focus your mind on," Gimli finally said. "Dare say there is more danger to come." Legolas glanced at him and then nodded.

"Yes, I should be focused on that not… other things," he said before standing and walking away. Gimli sighed and shook his head as the elf once again wandered off by himself. Aragorn stepped over to him, also watching Legolas.

"You think this thing will distract him further?" he asked. Gimli shrugged.

"I do not know. But Legolas is an elf of honor. When the time comes I am sure he will put our quest first," the dwarf replied.

"He told me earlier that he asked the lady to join our fellowship," Aragorn said. Gimli chuckled.

"I saw her today in training. It would not be such a bad idea if she agrees," he replied. Aragorn glanced down at him, his eyebrows raised. "She is quick with a sword and bested Boromir as well as a few other elves while sparring." Aragron nodded slowly as he looked towards the home where she dwelled.

"I do not think that she would," he said. "Legolas said that she refused."

"Not much to be done there, I believe," Gimli said.

"It would seem so…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yet another major change - Elanor isn't afraid of her weapons or fighting. Which I guess makes her decision to join the guard at Lothlorien less jarring...


	7. Chapter 7

Even though it was still rather early, Elanor could not sleep so quickly dressed and left her home to walk among the trees. She felt more strongly that she should join the patrol of these lands and had finally settled into the most peace she had felt since the fellowship had arrived. She was sure that her father would be pleased.

Looking up into the branches of the tall trees, she stopped and took a deep breath as she closed her eyes, feeling a calm settle over her. She could not help the smile that came across her face. Yes, this was a worthy purpose, she could not help to think.

"My lady, I did not expect you up so early," a voice said. Elanor opened her eyes and saw Haldir walking towards her. She smiled as she stepped to him.

"I did not know that you had returned," she said.

"Late last night. I did not want to disturb you," he said, smiling at her. He glanced around noting the relative privacy that they had, closed the distance as he bent down and gently pressed a kiss upon her lips. Elanor could not help the fluttering in her stomach. While he still did not affect her the way Legolas did - and likely never would - she still enjoyed these stolen moments with him. "You seem somewhat changed since I saw you last."

"Well, I have made a decision," she said. Haldir's face lit up. "I will join the guard." While his expression was somewhat tempered, he was still happy to hear this news.

"What has changed your mind?" he asked, leading her over to sit on a large root.

"I felt it was time to do my part to help protect our lands," she said. "Darkness is coming whether we see it now or not. I should stand ready to help." He nodded.

"I am glad to hear it," he said. Elanor studied him a moment, sensing a slight bit of sadness. She looked away, the guilt already starting to slide in. "Please, do not be concerned of me. I know where I stand with you."

She took a deep breath and slowly let it out, still not eager to look into his eyes. He reached over and took her hand.

"I assure you, I am just happy to be at your side, even if it is nothing more than what it is now," he said. Elanor nodded slowly.

"I wish that I could change how I feel," she said softly.

"A heart is a difficult thing to control," Haldir replied. "Something I know all too well." Elanor ventured a look at him.

"I am grateful to have you as a companion," she said, squeezing his hand. "Truly, I am." He nodded and smiled at her.

"As am I," he said.

"Though I do wish that you would… seek your own happiness," she said, frowning slightly. Haldir's smile turned sad.

"I have found my own happiness," he replied. "Even if I cannot capture your heart in the way that I wish, it is still happiness to be with you."

"You truly would be content like this?" she asked softly.

"As you cannot stamp out your feelings for Legolas, I too cannot stop feeling the way I do about you," he said. "It would cause me more pain to seek out another than to be only as I am." Elanor nodded and looked away into the forest.

"I sometimes fear that I give you too much hope," she said despondently.

"Any hope that I have is of my own doing. You have been honest and clear," he said, gently turning her face to look at him. "Please do not allow yourself to feel guilt or worry where I am concerned." Elanor smiled and nodded. "Though I fear I must ask… have you allowed your own hope?"

Elanor looked away, unable to bear the hurt in his eyes.

"At times," she said. "But I am able to squelch it. I remember all too well the words he said to his father. He has fallen in love with Tauriel and his heart will always remain with her. There is no hope for me." There was resolution in her voice, which helped to abate Haldir's fears. "Not to mention they are to leave soon. Then I will be free of it again. At least… freer than I am now."

Haldir studied her a moment as she gazed out into the forest again, seeing more strength come into her face. She held her head up slightly and for a moment, he had a glimpse of her great-aunt. There was no doubt of her lineage. He then stood, pulling her up with him.

"Shall we see about breakfast then?" he asked lightly, smiling at her. Elanor looked to him and nodded, a genuine smile appearing.

"Of course," she said, accepting his arm as they began to walk back to her home. Even though the pain was still there, she found it greatly lessened. And she could not help but think it was in part of Haldir's presence.

* * *

Legolas turned and leaned against the trunk of a tree, not wanting Haldir or Elanor to see or hear him. He had begun following her the moment he caught a glimpse of her through the trees, hoping to try and make amends. However, he was greatly disappointed when he saw Haldir reach her first. While he could not hear them, he could clearly see the affection they held for each other.

It was in the way he gently kissed her and held fast to her hand. How she smiled at him.

He had been wrong, it would seem. Elanor did not have any feelings of love towards him. She was clearly enamored with the marchwarden if their secret rendezvous was anything to go by. And while it pained him, he knew in that moment the only right thing to do was to let her go. She had found her happiness here. And soon he would be leaving to complete his own journey.

He would make his amends and let her go.

He started towards the others of the fellowship, not wishing to intrude upon their tender moment any longer. But he could not help the memories…

* * *

_Elanor giggled as she leaned closer to Oren, her hair down in a cascade of waves. Legolas stopped and frowned, finding it curious. She never wore her hair down. Nor did she giggle in that fashion. He remembered the day of the feast many years ago when the maid had teased her about Oren and the same bout of jealousy reared up._

_This was his Elanor. No one else's. His best friend._

_He then strode up to the pair as Oren reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, causing Elanor to blush._

" _What's this?" he asked loudly as he approached them. Elanor's eyes widened as she simultaneously jumped away from Oren and turned to face the elf prince._

" _Just talking," she said as her cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink._

" _As she said," Oren replied, though he smiled down at her. Legolas frowned as he sized up the elf._

" _You would do well to remember your place," he said coldly as he stared at him. Oren frowned slightly as a flash of anger came across Elanor's face._

" _Yes, of course, my prince," Oren said as he bowed and then started walking away, though he glanced back at Elanor._

" _Just what was that?" she spat after he had left, her hands planted on her hips._

" _It's true," Legolas said lightly as he took Oren's place at her side. "You are Sindarin… and Noldoran." Elanor rolled her eyes._

" _You know that means nothing to me or my father," she said. "You scared him off!"_

" _With good reason! Oren is not good enough for you," Legolas said, looking over at her._

" _He is a good ellon," she insisted._

" _Please, you are only paying him interest because you find him handsome," Legolas said._

" _So?" she asked. "He is handsome and so much more."_

" _Trust me. I am saving you," Legolas said._

" _More like trying to keep me all to yourself," Elanor huffed._

" _So, what if I am? You are my best friend," Legolas said._

" _Exactly. Your best friend," she retorted. "Not your, your… lover." Legolas eyes widened at the word as he blushed slightly. He had never thought of Elanor in that way, though he did feel protective of her._

" _I should think not," he replied indignantly._

" _Then why do you care if I speak with Oren?" she asked._

" _Because you're my friend first," he said, unable to think of a better response._

" _Sometimes you are insufferable," Elanor said, starting to turn away. Legolas reached out for her arm, wishing to try and make things right. He didn't like it when Elanor was angry with him._

" _Look… I am sorry," he said. She stopped and glared at him. "You are right… it was not my place." She yanked her arm out of his grasp, though her anger had abated slightly._

" _Just so long as you remember that," she said. He nodded fervently. "Come on then. Father's returned from Imladris and I believe he has presents for us." Legolas smiled with relief as he moved to her side and they began walking through the halls towards her father's rooms. Elanor continued to glance at him as they walked, studying the prince._

_She hoped this would be the last of such actions._

* * *

Elanor tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear as she stared at the target on the training grounds. She smoothly pulled an arrow out of her quiver and brought it up to her bow, pulling it tight. She took a deep breath, focusing on the target as she let the arrow loose and watched it land towards the right of the center circle. She frowned slightly.

"Your stance is off," a voice said from behind. Elanor turned, looking over her shoulder. Legolas was standing there, watching her. She was silent as he walked up to her side and looked down at her feet. He lightly kicked them into position. He then stepped up behind her, guiding her arms up. Elanor felt her breath hitch slightly at his touch, though forced herself to focus on the target and not his hand on hers as they held the bow up, his other hand placed lightly on her back.

She pulled out another arrow and notched it into the bow, feeling her heart begin to race.

"You always did favor that side," he said in her ear.

"Archery did not come so easy for all of us," she said before letting the arrow fly loose. It landed dead center on the target. She quickly walked over to retrieve her arrows, stepping out of his arms. Once away from him, she felt like she could breathe normally.

"But you had a good teacher. Surely you have not forgotten everything," he replied. Elanor looked over at him.

"Not everything," she admitted. He started towards her but stopped a few feet away.

"You have been avoiding me these last few days," he said simply.

"I have been busy," she replied. "I am to join the guard on a patrol and needed to prepare myself."

"You will join the guard?" he asked. Elanor nodded.

"I will set out with Haldir and the others shortly have you leave," she said. "It is time that I took a larger role in protecting these lands. It is my home now."

"You will not return to Mirkwood, then?" Legolas asked, a flash of hurt in his eyes. "What of your father?"

"I will visit, just as he visits me," Elanor said. "I feel my path lies here in Lothlorien." Legolas nodded.

"Would you… be adverse to my visiting again?" he asked, meeting her eyes. "I know that things are not as they were between us and that they may never be, but… I have found you again and I find I am not so eager to lose you."

"I am not so sure, Legolas," Elanor said, frowning slightly. "I wish that it were easier…"

"I know that I have done you great harm. I only wish that I can attempt to make amends. To repair what was damaged," he said. She could see the honesty in his eyes. Elanor was silent, unsure if she had the strength. Just being near him again had brought back the pain. But then, she remembered Haldir's words.

That it was more painful for him to be away from her than it was to remain at her side as just a friend. He found the strength. Perhaps she could as well. What's more, she did not wish to admit it out loud, but she did want Legolas to remain in her life. There was no future for them, she was sure of this, but perhaps as she moved forward, she could find room for her old friend.

"It is not so easily fixed," she started. "But perhaps… perhaps we could try." Legolas smiled in relief.

"I did not wish to leave tomorrow on such tense terms," he said. "Once we have finished our journey, I hope that I would be welcome back here." Elanor nodded.

"I should like that… if you were to visit," she said softly. Legolas stepped up to her, taking her hands.

"All I wish for is your happiness, Elanor. If your happiness is here in Lothlorien, then… I shall be happy for you," he said. He squeezed her hands one last time before turning and walking away. Elanor let out the breath she had been holding and looked down at her hands before back up at his retreating back.

Perhaps she was finally moving on.

* * *

Elanor stood with the other elves of Lothlorien the next morning, watching as Galadriel bestowed various gifts to the members of the company. Her eyes lingered on Legolas, watching as he held his new bow with reverence. She couldn't help but smile to herself, thinking of the day he received his first bow and how much joy it had brought him. Now that they had finally attempted to move forward, she felt as though some of the weight had been lifted from her. Things would never be as they were, but she found the pain that he had caused more bearable.

Once it was over, the members looked around, making their final farewells. Aragorn moved to speak with Haldir while Elanor found herself surrounded by the hobbits. Legolas walked up to her other side in the midst of it.

"Are you prepared?" he asked. Elanor looked to him and nodded.

"Prepared for what, my lady?" Merry asked as his face lit up. "Will you be joining us?"

"Yea, we could use someone of your skills," Pippin said, looking up at the elf woman with a hopeful face.

"We could use all the help we can get," Merry added. Elanor smiled at the two, having grown rather fond of the halflings in their short time there.

"I am afraid that I will not," she said calmly. "It is not my quest to join, but I shall be joining the guard here on their patrols."

"Oh… well then… we'll miss you," Merry said, looking down in sorrow. Elanor laughed softly.

"Do not fret, dear one," she said. "This will not be the last time we meet. And once your journey is finished, I would very much like to see this Shire that you speak of so lovingly." Merry brightened as he looked back up at her and Pippin started bouncing on his toes.

"We would love to host you in the Shire," Merry said. "Though it might be awhile. And we'll have to put together some accommodations that are more fitting for someone of your… stature." Elanor laughed again.

"Then I will eagerly await your invitation," she said before bending down to kiss the top of his head and then Pippin's. The two hobbits looked at each other in pleased awe. "Quickly now. Before the rest of your party leaves you behind." The two scampered off, grabbing up their packs and such.

"I know there is nothing I could say to get you to join us, but the halflings are correct. We could use someone of your skill," Legolas said. Elanor glanced at him and then quickly looked away, knowing if she looked too long she would eventually give in.

"As I said, this is not my journey to undertake," she said, her smile fading from her lips. "But I wish you well and hope that you will complete it unscathed." Legolas stared at her a moment before nodding.

"I understand," he said. "I look forward to returning after we have finished. I feel there are many things for us to discuss."

"I will be here, where I have been for nearly a century," she said softly. "You know where you can seek me." Legolas stared at her a moment longer before moving off to join his companions as they quickly loaded the boats provided to them. Elanor followed the other elves of Lothlorien to the shores of the river, watching silently as they boarded and set off.

"It would seem the halflings are eager for you to join them," Haldir said, stepping up to her side. Elanor nodded. "And the prince…"

"I cannot," she said simply. "It is not my task to undertake. But they know this."

"Did you consider it?" he asked. She glanced at him, noting the concern in his eyes as he watched the boats.

"I did not," she said, reaching over and placing a hand on his arm. Haldir looked down at her. "My place is here." He smiled.

"It does bring me happiness to hear such things," he said. Elanor could not but help to return it. She looked back to the boats, meeting Legolas' gaze one last time. She nodded to him. A tight smile came across his face before he turned his attention to the boat, pushing it out into the water. "It would seem that things have been mended between you and Legolas."

"Not fully, no," she said. "But… I feel as though we shall be able to move forward from here."

"That is good, is it not?" he asked. Elanor nodded.

"He knows that this is my home now," she said.

"It is? Truly?" Haldir asked. Elanor tore her eyes away from Legolas and looked up at him.

"Yes," she said softly. "It is." He smiled again, before nodding his head to her.

"I shall see to the others while you prepare. We leave at midday," he said before walking off. Elanor sighed as she looked back to the boats, watching as they continued down the river. Whiles she felt lighter - better - she could not help but think that part of her was sailing away with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, I pulled that flashback for the story (though changed it to Fenris - who plays a bigger role in the new version) and I think I used the original "leaving Lothlorien" scene, but adapted it. Just realized I have them leaving Lothlorien a lot faster in this one... Hmm...


	8. Chapter 8

Legolas sat at the fireside, staring into the flames. They had been gone only one day, but still his thoughts returned to Lothlorien. Seeing Elanor along the riverbank at Haldir's side. While it pained him to see the tenderness in their gazes, he knew the right thing to do was to step aside and allow her happiness. Too many times over the years he had been selfish in her regard. Too many times he had taken her for granted. Now that there was somewhat peace between them, he did not intend to repeat his mistakes from the past. Even though he still did not know what he had done to cause her to leave, he vowed that he would do better.

"I saw that you were speaking with the Lady Elanor before we left. Were you able to make amends?" Aragorn asked, sitting next to the elf. He nodded.

"As best we could. I feel there is still more there, but for now we at least parted on happier terms," he replied. He glanced at Aragorn "I… I fear that I have not treated Elanor as I should over the years. I do not intend to continue such selfish behavior."

"That is good to hear," Aragorn said. "You have not spoken of her so much in the years that I have known you, but I can sense that you were once close."

"We were," Legolas said. "I hope that someday we can return to that." He continued to stare at the flames, his mind going back. "There is not one memory from my childhood that does not involve her… I owe it to her, to our friendship, to do better…"

* * *

_Legolas sat in his room on the floor, staring at the floor as his toys surrounded him. He did not understand what was going on, only that his father had sent him away and there was much yelling._

_And no one would tell him where his mother was._

" _Legolas?" a small voice said from the door. He turned, seeing Elanor standing there, barely visible behind the large door. Her long blonde hair was pulled into two plaits as she peered at him through wide blue eyes._

_She stepped into the room, her rosy cheeks wet. Legolas looked down at the floor again, frowning._

" _How are you?" she asked softly, walking up to his side._

" _No one will tell me what is going on," he said glumly. "Father won't see me. And I want Mother."_

_Elanor sat on the floor next to him on her knees, watching him closely. He looked at her._

" _Why won't they tell me anything? Why can't I see Mother?" he asked, his eyes wide. "Did something happen to her?"_

" _I don't know," Elanor replied. "Mother and Father would not say anything to me either…"_

" _Elanor, I am afraid," he said. "What if she isn't coming back?" Legolas sniffed as tears filled his eyes. "What if I never see her again?" Tears began pouring down his cheeks. Elanor reached out and wrapped her arms around him, unsure what to say. She was only a little girl and did not understand what had the hall in such a frenzy either. Her own mother held her tightly as she told her that the young prince would need them now more than ever. She had used the confusion of whatever was happening to sneak out of her family's rooms and seek out her best friend and playmate._

" _You'll always have me, Legolas," she replied. It was the only thing that she could think to say. He pushed her away from him, a serious look coming over the small child's face._

" _Do you swear it?" he asked. "That you will never leave me?" Elanor nodded._

" _I swear it… I will never leave your side," she said solemnly. Legolas then nodded and threw his arms around her again, starting to cry. They stayed that way for a few hours, both eventually falling asleep as the tears tired them out. It was like this that Elanor's mother found them._

" _Ailmar, my king, they are here," she called out, stepping over to the children as relief filled her face. Just behind her the king and her husband walked into the room, taking in the sight of the two children. "It would seem that she came to comfort him."_

_Thranduil walked over and bent down, gently picking up his young son and holding him close. The movement caused the young boy to stir slightly, opening his eyes as his father held him and then turned to walk towards his bed. He watched as Ellania picked up her young daughter and looked at him, her eyes full of warmth and worry._

_He quickly shut his eyes as he felt his father bend over, putting him in bed and then tucking him in. He felt slight pressure on his forehead as his father kissed him and then straightened his hair._

" _Sleep well, my prince," he murmured. "You are all I have left…"_

_The little boy pondered the words long after the others had left..._

* * *

Elanor stood on the platform, her keen eyes looking out into the forest. There was nothing to be seen, though she continued to scan their surroundings. Haldir had warned of the random roving bands of orcs that came through the outskirts of their land and she was slightly worried about when they should come across one. It had been such a long time since she had faced combat and she worried that she would hesitate in the moment. Hesitation is what got one killed.

"All is calm," Haldir said, stepping up to her side. She nodded, continued to look through the trees. "How are you faring?"

"Well. It feels good to be out again. Doing something," she replied, glancing at him.

"With luck, this will be uneventful," he said. "Though I believe they are still searching for the ringbearer."

"They do not yet know that he has moved on from Lothlorien. This is good for the fellowship," she said.

"They have a good start and with luck, they will continue on and finish their quest," he said with a sigh. "They are our hope." Elanor turned and looked over at him.

"Do you truly think that they will succeed?" she asked, her brow furrowed.

"It is not for me to believe one way or the other. They must," he answered. "Though they do so at great peril." Elanor nodded and turned, looking back into the forest. "You fear for him."

"I fear for all of them," she replied. "The little ones… I should not wish to lose any of them." Haldir stepped closer and took her hand.

"We must believe that they will succeed, then," he said softly, causing her to look up at him again. "We must have hope." She smiled slightly and nodded.

"Yes… we must," she breathed.

"We must have hope for our own future," he added. Elanor swallowed, noticing how close he was standing to her. Haldir leaned towards her, taking advantage of the relative privacy of the moment. However just as his lips were about to meet hers, there was a commotion. The two flew apart as another elf flew up the ladder.

"My lord, lady, there are orcs along the border," he said. Elanor was already walking towards him, as Haldir nodded.

"Understood. We set out now," he said. The elf turned and disappeared down the ladder. Haldir grabbed Elanor's hand, spinning her around to look at him. "Please be careful out there."

"I will," she said. He nodded and pressed a quick kiss to her forehead before they too went down the ladder.

As soon as her feet hit the ground, Elanor had pulled out an arrow and loaded it into her bow, her eyes scanning the surroundings as she crept forward with the rest of the elves. Her senses were on high alert as she started to hear them. While they were still a distance away from them, the unruly creatures were loud. There were about 10 in total - a number that should be easy enough to dispatch.

She could feel her heart rate pick up as the long forgotten rush of adrenaline hit her. For the first time in what seemed like forever, she wasn't thinking of Legolas or Haldir or anything else as she focused on hunting down the orcs.

A small smile came across her face as she stopped behind a tree and peered around, seeing the band. She held up her bow and took aim.

_You always did favor that side…_

Shaking her head, she refocused as she waited on the word from Haldir. Glancing out of the corner of her eye, she saw him. He lifted his hand and held it in the air a moment before dropping it. Silently, arrows flew through the forest, hitting their marks. The orcs wailed in pain as some fell and others looked around, trying to find their foes.

Haldir shouted out another order and they quickly hopped out, making their way towards the group. Some stopped and took aim again, while others pulled out their swords, preparing to engage. Elanor knew that she was to stay back and help the archers but found herself throwing her bow over her shoulder as she pulled out her sword.

"Elanor!" Haldir shouted, but she paid him no heed as she continued running towards the orcs, a glare coming over her face as she gripped the hilt of her sword.

She knew that she would likely get in trouble for this later, but she did not care. She needed to do this.

* * *

" _Elanor!" Legolas shouted as Elanor bounded over a tree root, her sword out. She gave a shout as she raised her it and charged towards the large spider. She began hacking at it, flecks of blood flying into her face._

_She moved around, easily missing its pinchers and legs as she struck it over and over again. It was tougher than she was expecting, though she continued to fight._

" _Elanor!" Legolas shouted again as he bounded next to her and lifted his sword in time to block her from being impaled by a leg. She glanced at him and then hopped over him and running up to the spider's back, sinking her sword into it. The spider gave a squeal of pain before sinking to the ground. Its legs curled up and with one last shudder, it died._

_Elanor wiped the grime from her face as she hopped back down to the ground._

" _I told you to wait," Legolas said, frowning at her._

" _I know what I'm doing," she retorted, returning the frown._

" _You could have been killed," he said._

" _I would not have," she scoffed, starting back towards the others that were taking care of another spider. She could hear the dying shrieks of the creature and moved more quickly should they need aid. Legolas reached out and grabbed her arm, spinning her around._

" _Must you be so rash?" he asked._

" _I am not rash," Elanor replied, pulling her arm from his grasp. "Perhaps if you would trust me more, you would see."_

" _I do trust you, I just…" he stopped, seeming to fight with his words. "I do not wish to lose you." Elanor stopped, her eyebrows rising. She swallowed as she felt her heart begin to beat faster. Did he know? "You are my closest friend, Elanor."_

_She nodded and quickly looked away, trying to calm herself. Now was not the time to be making confessions._

" _I shall be more careful in the future," she said, starting towards the others._

" _Very good," he said._

* * *

Elanor took a deep breath and slowly let it out as she sat on the pallet on her platform. They had quickly taken care of the orcs and half the group retired for the night while the rest continued taking watch. She was to take the next shift in the early hours of the morning with Haldir and needed to rest, though the adrenaline rush from earlier was still pumping through her veins. She was surprised that he did not scold her after they had finished, but the look in his eyes clearly said that he would at some point.

She had let her instincts take over, quickly taking down two of the orcs before the others had reached them. While she knew what she was doing, part of her knew that it was also important to follow orders. And his orders had been for her to stand back and provide cover for the others.

"What was that, Elanor?" Haldir asked, as he appeared on her platform, frowning at her. She sighed and stood, turning to face him.

"I was doing what I have been trained for," she said simply.

"You knew that you were to stand back," he said.

"I know, but-"

"No, buts, Elanor," he said, closing the distance between them and gripping her upper arms. "You could have been hurt. There is a reason that we have a plan." She stared up at him, her eyes wide as memories from her past came flying into her mind. She had received that same look before. Shaking her head, she looked away, blinking furiously.

"I cannot lose you," he said softly. She looked back at him and nodded, seeing the concern there. Though it ran much deeper than what she had seen before. For she knew his feelings for her ran much deeper than Legolas.

"You will not lose me," she replied.

"Please follow orders," he asked. She nodded. Haldir left a kiss on her forehead and then stepped back. "Get some rest. I will fetch you when it is time."

"Yes," she said. Once he had left, she fell back onto the pallet and stared up into the tree branches. Sighing, she closed her eyes, willing herself to fall asleep, though it was as though it would not come.

* * *

_Elanor lay in her bed on her side, tears streaming down her cheeks as she gasped for air. She had never felt such pain. It was as though her heart was being ripped to shreds. She thought that she had a handle on herself, but after seeing Legolas brush a strand of Tauriel's hair from her face earlier that day had her secluded in her rooms since midday, refusing all food and interaction._

_Her father rushed into her bedchamber, a look of concern on his face as he made his way to her. He had heard a shriek in the night and hurried to see just what was the matter._

" _My dear, what is wrong?" he asked softly. Elanor shook her head, unable to answer as she buried her face in her pillow. "Please speak to me…"_

" _I… cannot…" she gasped. He gently lifted her up, turning her face to look at his. Her eyes were rimmed in red and puffy as splotches filled her face._

" _What is it that pains you? Should I send for a healer?" he asked. Elanor shook her head as she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his chest._

" _I… I cannot say…" she replied. Ailmar began rubbing her back as she continued to sob in his arms. He had watched as she began to fade over the years, but he did not push her on it, feeling that she would open up to him when the time was right. But it appeared that whatever had been causing her to fade had finally hit a head._

_And now she was sobbing in his arms, her pain permeating the room and breaking his own heart. He wished that his wife was here. She would know just what to do to comfort their daughter._

" _Why must it hurt like this?" she said softly, still sobbing._

" _Oh, my dear," he replied. "Why will you not tell me what it is?"_

_Elanor took a deep shuddery breath as she looked up at him, wiping her cheeks. She shook her head, her lips shut. She could not bring herself to tell him the truth. That she had fallen in love with Legolas but there was no hope for them. He would never love her, and she was doomed to forever love him._

" _I… It is… I am ashamed," she said finally looking up at him. He studied her a moment before nodding. He had his suspicions; seen the way that she looked at Legolas. And he had seen the way that the young prince looked at the captain of the guard._

" _Perhaps… perhaps it would be good for you to get away," he said. Elanor looked at him frowning. "You could go to Lothlorien, to your mother's people."_

" _To run?" she asked softly._

" _No… to heal," he replied. "I do not wish to see you continue as you have. I cannot stand to watch you continue to wither before me. If you go there, you could spend some time with your kin. Find yourself again." Elanor just blinked at him. "There is something here that is causing you great pain, my dear, and it is breaking me. Your mother and I, we never wished for you to experience such pain."_

" _Perhaps… perhaps it would be best," she said, hiccupping softly. "To go away for some time…"_

" _You can leave in the morning," he said. She nodded again. "What do you wish for me to say to the others? To Legolas?" Elanor looked up at him again._

" _Nothing," she said. He frowned. "I just… I wish to get there quickly." He nodded._

" _I understand," he said, his concerns confirmed. "I will send your things after you."_

" _Thank you, Father," she said. He kissed the top of her head._

" _All I want is your happiness, Elanor," he said. "I hope that you can find it there." He then let her go and walked to the door, stopping to look back at her. Elanor settled back into the bed, turning to face the other wall. Frowning, he then shut the door behind him._

* * *

Elanor sat up on the pallet, gasping for air as she pushed her hair back from her face. She did not know how long she had been asleep, but it did not matter. She could see the edges of sunrise starting to appear through the trees. Haldir would be here for her soon.

She quickly got out of bed and walked over to the table where a basin of water sat. She picked up at towel and dropped it in, then bathed her face in it, reveling in the cool respite. Taking a deep breath, she willed her heart to stop racing as she thought back to the memory.

She had left Mirkwood to find her own happiness in Lothlorien. Dwelling on the past would do her no good. If she were to have any hope of such happiness, she would need to push ahead with her life and move passed the past. There was no hope where Legolas was involved. But perhaps she could find it with others. She was not who she once was, and she did not wish to return to being that person.

She already felt some of the pain alleviate by being out on patrol. As her thoughts turned to Haldir, she could not help but smile as she lightly touched her forehead where he had kissed her.

"Good, you have already risen," he said, causing her to turn around to face him. "I… I wish to apologize for my harsh words last night."

"You did no wrong," she said, not expecting his apologies. "It was I who did not follow orders."

"Yes, but I should have trusted your abilities more," he said. "You are capable of doing more, Elanor, and I do not wish to ever hold you back."

She stared at him a moment before nodding and taking a tentative step towards him.

"You do not hold me back, Haldir," she said. "You have helped me more than you possibly know. More than anyone." His brow furrowed as he wondered where she was going with this. "You have shown me kindness and patience, far beyond what I deserve."

"I only did what was right," he replied. Elanor smiled slightly as she walked up to him, reaching out to take his hands in hers.

"You did what you did because you are a good ellon," she said. "Far better than I deserve."

"I have told you, Elanor-"

She placed a finger on his lips, stopping him.

"I believe I have an answer for you," she said, smiling up at him. His eyes widened. "Yes." A grin slowly spread across his face.

"Yes?" he said breathlessly. She nodded.

"Yes," she replied. She then placed a chaste kiss upon his lips.

"You have no idea what happiness this brings me. But why now?" he asked, searching her eyes for an answer.

"It is time that I find my own happiness. And I believe that it lies with you, Haldir," she said, finding herself truly meaning it. While part of her would never escape her past, she found that she could accept it and continue to move forward.

"I do not have words," he replied. Elanor just continued to smile.

"Then perhaps a kiss would suffice?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said… Elanor and Haldir… now I'm wishing I wrote the story about them and just left Legolas out of it… Going back over this, it seems like the better story to be honest and they have always been better suited. Damn me and my obsession with Legolas. I think that's why it was a bit hard to write the story at some points.
> 
> Don't worry - I'll write a Haldir story some day where he finds love and happiness... and doesn't die...


	9. Chapter 9

Elanor could not help the smile that came across her face as she and Haldir approached the home where she lived with her great-aunt and uncle. Though it would not be her home for much longer. When she and Haldir wed, she would move her things to his dwelling.

A surge of happiness filled her as she looked over at him at the thought of it. They would make a home and life together. Though just as she turned her thoughts to their future, she could not help the small prick of pain in her heart as Legolas' face filled her mind. Shaking her head, she returned to the present. He was in her past. While she hoped that no harm would befall him as he continued on his journey, she had let him go.

The next time she saw him, she would likely be Haldir's wife.

"We wish to see my aunt and uncle," Elanor said as they walked into the main foyer of the house and came upon a servant. The woman bowed and quickly walked away, checking to see that they were receiving guests. Looking over, Elanor noticed that the normally stoic elf appeared nervous. "What is it, Haldir?" she asked. "I thought that you had already received their blessing?"

"I have," he said. "I suppose part of me still cannot imagine why you would change your mind. I worry that you could still change it yet again." Elanor smiled softly as she walked over to him.

"I will not change my mind," she said. "I am yours, from now until forever." He smiled down at her, relief filling his eyes.

"That is good to hear," he said.

"My lady, they will see you now," the servant, returning. With one more glance Haldir's way, the two followed the servant through the corridors and up staircases until they were standing before Celeborn and Galadriel, who were seated in a large room.

"I hope that there is no dire news to report," Celeborn said slowly, studying the two.

"No, my lord," Haldir replied after he had bowed. "Though we do have news." Galadriel looked back and forth between the two, likely guessing correctly what they wished to say.

"I have accepted Haldir's proposal," Elanor said. "We wish to be wed."

Neither reacted at first, though Celeborn cast a look at his wife. Galadriel stood and gracefully glided towards the two, a small smile on her face, though there was something unreadable in her eyes.

"Such happy news," she said as she took Elanor's hands in her own and then kissed her cheek. She then looked to Haldir and did the same.

"When do you wish to do so?" Celeborn asked. "We should send for your father." Elanor nodded.

"Yes, I would like for him to be here," she replied.

"But I feel we should not tarry long," Galadriel said, causing the two to look at her.

"Have you seen something?" Elanor asked, fear sliding into her thoughts.

"Just with the coming darkness, I feel as though we should have a bit of lightness right now," Galadriel replied smoothly as she settled her gaze on Haldir a moment before looking to Elanor. "It has been such a long time since we had a wedding."

"I would not argue against it," Haldir said. "Though I have waited long for Elanor and would gladly continue to do so if she wishes." Elanor smiled at him.

"I suppose sooner is better rather than later," she replied. "I have made you wait long enough."

"Perhaps we should hold the ceremony five days from now?" Galadriel said. "Should be long enough for your father to arrive." Elanor gulped slightly as she looked at her aunt. While she was eager to marry Haldir, she had not expected for it to happen so quickly. Normally the elves had a long betrothal - at least a year. To have one that lasted only a few days was nearly unheard of.

"I suppose that would suffice," she replied. "I do already have a dress." Galadriel nodded as she sat down again.

"We can take care of the arrangements," she said. "You shall want for nothing." Haldir bowed deeply before the two.

"I am happy to receive your blessing once again," he said.

"You are a good ellon," Celeborn replied. "My niece has made a fine choice in a husband and partner."

"You are too kind, my lord," Haldir said formally.

"If you would excuse us, we are tired and should like to clean up before supper," Elanor said.

"Of course," Galadriel replied. "Will you be staying, Haldir?"

"If it is what the Lady Elanor wishes," he said, glancing at her.

"I do," Elanor said. He smiled and nodded again.

"We shall send a servant to your home to retrieve your things," Celeborn said. Haldir nodded his thanks and he and Elanor turned, leaving the room. They walked down the hall and stopped at the point where they would part, the servant leading Haldir to another room. He squeezed her hand and dropped a kiss on her cheek before leaving.

Taking a deep breath, Elanor continued to her room, seeing that a tub of warm water had already been delivered. She began to remove her armor as a servant walked in and put a few bottles of essence on a nearby table and then waited patiently to assist her.

"Do you need help with your armor, my lady?" she asked. Elanor glanced at her and nodded. The servant quickly stepped over and began unlatching the leather armor and placing it on a table. Once that and her over tunic were off, Elanor slid out of her breeches and socks, then pulled off her shirt and tight underchemise. She then walked over and lowered herself into the warm water, leaning back as the servant deftly undid her tight braid and brushed through her long hair.

"Is it true, my lady?" the servant asked. "That you will wed the marchwarden?"

"It is," she replied, starting to stretch out her legs and massage the soreness out.

"What wonderful news, my lady," the servant replied, starting to submerge the ends of her long locks. "First you join the guard and now you are to be wed. Such excitement we've had lately."

"Tis true," Elanor said.

"I was worried things would get rather boring now that our guests have left," the servant continued. Elanor frowned slightly as her thoughts returned to Legolas. She wondered how far the fellowship had made it. They had been gone nearly a week and there had been no word, though it was unlikely there would be. It wasn't as though they could send letters while they were on the road.

"Is something wrong, my lady?" the servant asked. Elanor shook her head quickly.

"No, I'm fine," she said.

"I understand, my lady. I worry as well. The fate of Middle Earth lies within the hands of a hobbit," the servant said. Elanor leaned forward as the servant picked up a sponge and began scrubbing her back.

"Frodo is stronger than he looks," Elanor replied. "And he is among a strong party."

"Of course, my lady. Lord Aragorn is a strong fighter. As is the prince," the servant said. "Shall I wash your hair?"

"Yes," Elanor replied, leaning back so that all her hair was submerged under the water. The servant began working her fingers through her wet waves.

"Though none are so strong as Lord Haldir," the servant replied, smiling. "He is very handsome as well."

"He is," Elanor replied.

"He will make a fine husband," she said. Elanor nodded a small smile playing across her lips.

"That he will," she replied, closing her eyes as she relaxed more. Her thoughts turned to her upcoming wedding. It would not be a large ceremony, but she figured there would at least be a large feast.

Soon enough, the servant had finished with her hair and Elanor dismissed her, saying that she wanted some time to herself. She leaned back in the tub, propping her feet up on the edge as she soaked. She had a fair amount of time before she would need to be in the hall for supper and felt she needed a moment to process all that had happened. Since the fellowship left, she had barely had a moment to herself, leaving on the patrol the same day. While she had enjoyed being out and having something to do, she was grateful to have a room to herself again.

She closed her eyes as she breathed deeply of the scented water, allowing her thoughts to wander. At first, all she saw was Haldir's face when she told him that she would marry him. While she had hesitated before, just that moment of seeing his joy had helped her settle into her decision.

In that moment, she truly believed that she could be happy with him.

* * *

Elanor stood in front of the mirror, scarcely recognizing herself. She lightly ran her fingers over the silken cloth of her mother's wedding dress, turning slightly to see it from all sides. Her hair was down in long, loose golden waves as a simple circlet sat atop her head.

The dress was pure white and fitted to her hips, where it then flowed freely around her legs. The sleeves were long and sheer as the neckline left her shoulders exposed.

"You look just like your mother," her father murmured from the open door. Elanor turned, smiling as he walked in, misty-eyed. She ran over and embraced him, feeling her own tears fill her eyes.

"It is good to see you, Father," she said breathlessly as she stepped back.

"Let me get a good look at you," he said, stepping back from her and taking in the dress as he held onto her hands. "Perfection." Elanor blushed slightly. "I had hoped that I would see this day… King Thranduil sends his best wishes. He had wished to join me but could not."

"I understand," Elanor said softly. "I am sure there are many pressing things for him to attend to in Mirkwood." Ailmar nodded.

"I only wish that your mother could see this," he nearly whispered.

"I as well," she said, her voice catching. Ailmar nodded and then tucked her arm under his, walking them over to the balcony.

"We have some time. Let us catch up just a bit before the festivities," he said, sitting down on a settee and pulling her down with him. "I have heard that you had a bit of excitement here." Elanor nodded, though a faint grimace came over her face.

"We hosted the fellowship for a time," she said.

"So, you did see Legolas," he replied. Elanor nodded. "I hope that you were able to… make amends…"

"To a point," Elanor replied, unsurprised that her father had guessed there was something wrong between them. He had sent her to Lothlorien in the first place. "It is… still difficult. But I believe that we were able to start down that road at least."

"He has a great challenge ahead of him. One that may yet claim his life," Ailmar continued.

"I am aware," Elanor replied, looking at the ground.

"But it does ease my mind knowing that you are safe here," he said, patting her hand, smiling at her. Elanor looked up at him.

"I have joined the guard," she said. He nodded.

"I am not surprised. It is a worthy calling, though it does worry me. But alas, you are your own person, Elanor. And I fear before this is over, we all may be in danger," he said. Elanor frowned.

"I will do my best to protect these lands and those of Mirkwood, should I need to," she said.

"Yes, I've no doubt you will, but I hope that time is far off," he said. "But let us not talk of such things. Today is a day of happiness." Elanor nodded and mustered a smile, but it was too late. Her thoughts were far from the woods of Lothlorien and sitting very firmly on the group of eight making their way to Mordor. She hoped that the hobbits were doing well - none of them used to such a long journey on the road. While she had no doubt that Aragorn was a capable leader, it was a dangerous quest and one that she could not help but think the hobbits were ill-suited for. She even spared a thought for Gimli and Boromir. While the Gondorian had rubbed her the wrong way more often than not, she did not wish for any harm to befall him.

Lastly, she allowed herself to think of Legolas. While he was capable of protecting himself and others, they were facing near insurmountable odds. Orcs would be after them, as would other darker creatures. Creatures that did not need sleep or rest and who would gladly tear all of Middle Earth apart in order to have the one ring in their possession.

For a moment, she felt rather foolish. Here she was, safely within the Golden Wood, celebrating marriage, while others were out risking their lives for the fate of the world. Perhaps she should have joined them.

"My lady, my lord, it is time," a servant said, walking into the room. Elanor looked over at her, her eyes wide. Had so much time passed? Was she truly ready for this?

"A moment, please," her father said, smiling at the woman. She bowed and stepped back out of the room. "My dear… are you sure this is what you want?"

Elanor looked over at him, perplexed by his question.

"Of course," she said. "Why would it not?" Ailmar gently cupped her cheek, smiling sadly at her.

"I only ask because we both know where your heart truly lies," he said softly. Elanor frowned.

"Not anymore," she replied.

"It is not so easy to put aside such feelings," he said.

"I know. As does Haldir," she said. "I understand that… I will never truly give all of myself to him, but… it is enough. For the both of us." He nodded, dropping his hand as he leaned over and kissed her cheek.

"Very well. Shall we go?"

* * *

After arriving at the feast and sitting next to Haldir, it seemed like everything was a blur to Elanor. They ate and spoke. She consumed a bit more wine than usual, mostly to calm the nerves traversing through her body. She knew that she wanted to do this, but still, with the approaching darkness, she could not help but be distracted.

All too soon, Haldir stood and reached for her hand, leading her to stand in front of all gathered. Her mouth went dry and for a moment, she worried that she would be able to speak her vows. But one look at Haldir smiling down at her sent a strong enough push of reassurance that she found her voice.

Before everyone, they gave back the silver rings that they had managed to exchange in the rush to the wedding. While it was nearly unheard of for a betrothal to be so short, everyone seemed to overlook it in light of their known affection for each other over the last hundred years. It helped that Galadriel and Celeborn had given their blessing to the union.

Elanor could feel her hands shaking slightly as she slid the gold ring onto Haldir's finger, her voice barely a whisper as she said her vows. She offered him a smile after she had finished, and he bent down, lightly brushing her lips in a tender kiss.

All too quickly, it was done and he led her in a dance before they were whisked out of the hall and back towards his home. It would not be official until consummated. Yet another thing Elanor had not stopped to think of. As they neared his door, she suddenly felt more nervous than ever before. Sure there had been stolen kisses here and there, but nothing more.

Sensing her hesitation, Haldir stopped at the threshold and looked down at her.

"This is our home now. I know that it is not much, but I hope that it will be a happy one," he said. Elanor smiled and nodded.

"As long as you are at my side, it will be," she breathed. He then reached down and pulled her up into his arms, walking into the home. Elanor could not help the blush that came across her face as he carried her all the way to his room. She had never step foot there before, even though she had spent a fair amount of time in the home. Looking around, she noted that it was cozy and seemed very much Haldir.

He gently placed her feet upon the ground, though did not move his hands from her waist. Elanor took a deep breath and looked up into his eyes, nearly taken aback by the unfettered love in them. For a moment, she felt the old guilt seeping in. She wished that she could return it.

"Please, do not feel guilty," Haldir said softly, reaching up to cup her face and caressing her cheek with his thumb. "I am happy." Elanor nodded solemnly. "I know… and it is alright." She smiled as she rose up on her toes, bringing her lips to his. While it started out the same as all their other kisses, there was an underlying intensity. One that Elanor had never felt from the marchwarden before. His hand moved from her cheek to her neck, his fingers then lightly brushing through her hair.

After a short time, she could feel the same intensity spreading through her as she gripped the front of his tunic, pulling him closer to her. For a fleeting moment, she wondered if this is what it would have been like to kiss Legolas. But just as quickly, she pushed it aside.

This was her wedding night. She had spent far too long wondering and wanting in regards to the prince. Tonight, she would only focus on the man standing before her. The man that she had pledged to love and honor for the rest of her long life and even after.

And for once, she found that she truly did not wish to think of him.

Haldir was enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just realized that I kind of changed Elanor's father's personality A LOT more in the new version. I feel like he's more fleshed out in that one, but I kind of like making him a bit softer and all. (And I like that I included her mother more in the new version.) And wow... I really powered through the story in this version. I'm not sure which is better - this faster paced story or the more drawn out new version... I think we get a better sense of Elanor, Haldir and Legolas in the new version, but I kind of like how I've made their personalities in this one a bit better...


	10. Chapter 10

Legolas stood in the armory, mechanically going through the motions of checking his weapons. There was a small likelihood that any of them would survive the night at Helm's Deep. But he had vowed to fight at Aragorn's side and if that meant dying at his side, then so be it.

He could only hope that Mithrandir would return in time with the Rohirrim. And at the very least, Merry and Pippin were far from this place and out of danger. They had no word of Sam and Frodo, but he could only hope that their journey was continuing as well. His thoughts then turned to Elanor, safely within the borders of Lothlorien. Since they had left, his thoughts often turned to her, the image of her standing on the river's shore next to Haldir. While he was happy they were to move forward in their friendship, he could not help the twinge of pain in his heart.

His best friend was now back in his life and he knew that she had been safe all these years, which was a relief. However, she had found happiness at the side of another and he still did not know just what it was that had sent her away from Mirkwood. His mind whirled with the possibilities, though none seemed feasible. More than that, he was sure that he had something to do with it but could not fathom what grievance he could have committed that would send her to Lothlorien without a word. He wished that she had shared with him before they left so that he could have done something.

What had he done to hurt her so?

"Best not to lose hope just yet," Gimli said softly from his side, drawing his thoughts back to the present. The elf looked over at him and smiled sadly before glancing around as he put aside his thoughts of Elanor. There weren't enough fighters and the ones they did have, too many were either too young or too old.

"Yes… hope is not yet lost," he replied.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a horn. Legolas stopped and looked up, recognizing it instantly. He could not believe his ears as he ran from the room on Aragorn's heels, both them scurrying outside to see if it was the truth or just their minds playing tricks on them. He slid to a stop as his eyes widened at the sight before him, scarcely believing it.

Before them stood an entire company of elves. At least 500. Just in front of them stood Haldir, who was now addressing King Theoden, and another that Legolas assumed was his second-in-command, though he could not yet make out his face as it was hidden by an ornate helmet.

"We come to honor that allegiance," the elf finished. The king of Rohan stood in awe as Aragorn continued down the stairs to them. Legolas followed, though froze as he saw Haldir's second pull off the helmet and look around, meeting his eyes.

It was Elanor.

"Thank you," Aragorn said, smiling as he embraced Haldir. The elf stiffly returned the hug, unused to such affection, then stepped back.

"This is my second in command, Lady Elanor," he said, motioning to the elleth, who now stepped towards Aragorn, meeting his gaze and bowing her head towards him.

"I heard that you are a great fighter, my lady. We are honored that you are here," Aragorn said.

"It is my honor, Lord Aragorn," she said softly. The man looked back and forth between the two before turning to walk back to the keep.

"Come. There is much to discuss," he said.

"Of course," Haldir said, now starting up the stairs. Legolas stood frozen in his spot watching as the two approached. While he was grateful for the aid of Lothlorien's army, he did not wish to see Elanor there. She was a great fighter, he knew, but they were about to face a near insurmountable foe. One that very well could kill them all.

"Elanor," he said softly, reaching out for her as they reached him. The couple stopped, with Elanor first looking to Legolas and then up at Haldir. The marchwarden nodded slightly then continued up the stairs as she turned to the prince, taking in his look of concern.

"You look as though you have seen a ghost," she said, a hint of a smile on her face. Legolas could only continue to stare, stunned by her warm demeanor towards him. While they had left on good terms, he had not expected that she would so quickly return to their old ways.

"Why are you here, Elanor?" he asked, finally finding his voice. Elanor raised her eyebrows.

"I am on the Lothlorien guard. It is my duty to be here," she replied.

"But it is dangerous," he said. Elanor smirked slightly.

"I know that it has been a long time, but surely even you remember that I am more than capable of fighting," she said, starting to follow Haldir. Legolas reached out and grabbed her arm, a jolt of electricity shooting through his body. Elanor looked down at his hand, a strange look coming over her face, though she quickly replaced it with one of irritation as she looked over at Legolas. "Legolas, come now."

He swallowed before finally letting go of her. She reached over with her right hand to lightly massage where he had gripped her. It was then that the glint of gold caught his eye as he looked down at her hand.

"When-"

"Elanor! Come!" Haldir called out, getting the two elves' attention. She looked up at him and nodded.

"We can speak later," she said, turning to look back at Legolas. She then smiled slightly. "Though I would ready myself, if I were you. Last time we were in battle together, I remember very clearly that I killed more foes than you did." She then quickly climbed the stairs, stepping to Haldir's side as they continued to speak with Aragorn and Theoden.

Legolas could only stare at them as a piercing pain struck his heart. She had married Haldir. He had not expected such news though Elanor had admitted that she was fond of the marchwarden. The fellowship had not been gone from Lothlorien all that long. Had they been betrothed during their entire time there and she had not mentioned it? Just as he thought they were returning to as they had been before, suddenly Legolas felt that he once again did not know the elleth he had once called his best friend.

She glanced over at him, her brow furrowed as she took in his intense gaze before returning her attention to whatever King Theoden was saying.

"Is that the lass from Lothlorien?" Gimli asked, stepping up to Legolas' side.

"It is," he replied.

"Nearly didn't recognize her in all the armour," the dwarf said. He then looked up at Legolas, taking in his odd look. "Something the matter? You're lookin' a wee bit strange." The elf prince quickly cleared his face as he looked down at Gimli.

"I am just surprised to see her here. I would have rather she stay in Lothlorien where it is safe," he said.

"I remember watching her spar. To be honest, I figure we could use all the aid that is available," the dwarf said, chuckling. "Didn't you ask her to join us?"

"I did," Legolas said, back to studying the couple. "Come. We should listen as well."

"Never thought I'd be one to gladly welcome elves, but here we are," he said. Legolas cast one more look at him and then quickly made his way to the group. Gimli sighed and shook his head. "Elves."

* * *

Sometime later, Elanor stood just inside the keep, frowning as she looked around. The room was teeming with activity as various people rushed about. They were still sending the women and children to the caves while the rest were preparing for the battle. She was not so sure that they would be able to hold out against the enemy indefinitely as the mortal king declared confidently.

"Elanor," Legolas called out as he walked up to her. She turned to face him, surprised that it had taken him this long to find her after they arrived.

"I am not so sure of the king's plan," she said as he reached her, looking around the keep again, closely scrutinizing the soldiers. "Many of these men are in no condition to be fighting."

"It is the only plan that we have," Legolas replied. He reached out and took Elanor's hand, looking down at the ring. "Why did you not tell me that you were betrothed?" He met her gaze, the hurt evident in his eyes. She pulled her hand from his, frowning slightly.

"We were not at the time," she said. "It was rather sudden, to be honest." She held her hand close to her, twisting the ring around her elegant finger.

"Why the urgency?" Legolas then asked, curious as to why they would forsake tradition.

"Lady Galadriel set the date," she said. "We assumed it was because of the times…" Legolas swallowed and nodded.

"Apologies. I should be congratulating you," he said, smiling weakly.

"Thank you," Elanor replied, her own smile starting to appear as she looked down at the ring again. "I am still not so used to it. It's been but a week since we wed." She looked back up at him, slightly taken aback by the unfettered emotion in his eyes. It was clear that he was upset by the news, though he fought to hide it from her. She had not expected that he would take it so badly. "Is something the matter, Legolas?"

He quickly shook his head, forcing himself to smile, though Elanor could clearly see that it did not quite reach his eyes, which held a level sadness. Even after all these years apart, she could still read him all too well. She could not help as a tinge of irritation ran through her. A century apart and the elf prince still felt as though he had some sort of claim over his old friend.

"No. I am happy for you, Elanor," he said. "Truly."

"Thank you," she said softly, now back to glancing around her. She could not help but think she should doing something other than standing there speaking to Legolas. "I should check the wall."

"Of course. I will accompany you," he said. Elanor nodded and they started out the main door. She had not intended for him to follow her, but it seemed that he was keen on shadowing her. The two made their way out of the Hornburg and along the wall. Already Haldir was speaking with a group of archers down below in the deep. She watched them a moment and then turned to look out across the plain. Night had fallen and she could hear the rumbling of thunder in the distance. The storm would likely hit about the time the enemy arrived.

She took a deep breath, the scent of the coming rain heavy in the air.

"A storm does not bode well for us," she said, looking around the plain just before them to the dike, her brow furrowed. She then looked further, seeing far into the distance where the enemy troops could just barely be seen.

A sliver of fear slid into her heart. She had fought before, yes. Killed many orcs and other foes. But never had she faced a battle such as this. She could not help but think of Haldir, choosing to glance back over her shoulder at him.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Legolas who was now openly staring at her. She looked away, feeling heat pool in her cheeks.

"This is not the first battle we have faced together, Legolas," she said, turning her attention before her, trying to swallow the fear threatening to well up in her.

"But we have never faced something such as this," he said softly. He looked to the ground, taking a hesitant step towards her. "I feel there is too much left unsaid between us… and there is a chance that we will face defeat-"

"Do not be ridiculous, Legolas," she chided, cutting him off. She worried what he would say or that he would push her on her reason for leaving yet again. "We will survive." She tried to infuse as much strength in her voice as she could.

"But there is a chance," he said, looking up at her. She could feel the intensity of his look. Elanor clenched her jaw, steeling herself.

"What more can be said?" she asked softly, still not wanting to look at him.

"Why did you leave?" he asked. She knew that he would ask this. "What did I do to cause you such pain?" Elanor shook her head quickly.

"Do not ask me of that," she said.

"You still refuse to tell me… even now," he said, taking another step towards her. "And you will not look at me."

"You obviously know that it was because of you that I left," she replied. "What more do you need to know?" Legolas reached out and took her hand. Elanor gasped as she felt sparks shoot up her arm. She looked down, staring at her small hand in his.

"What did I do? And how can I make it up to you?" he asked. Elanor's eyes flicked up to his, an anger starting to course through her veins.

"Allow me to live my life the way I see fit," she said. "I have found happiness in Lothlorien."

"With Haldir," he added, still not letting go of her.

"Yes. He does make me happy. That is why I married him," she said coldly.

"But you were once happy at my side," he said.

"Once. But that was a very long time ago," she said truthfully. "Long before I left."

"Why did you pull away from me? I knew that something was the matter, but you would not tell me - your oldest friend," he continued. "It pained me to see you fade."

"All this time and you are still blind," Elanor said, blinking furiously as she felt the tears prick at her eyes. She yanked her hand from his and stepped back. "You never saw me clearly."

"Of course, I did," he replied, his brow furrowed. Elanor shook her head.

"No. You still don't see me properly. Otherwise you would not be asking me these things now," she said. Legolas watched as the pain seeped into her eyes. "You only had eyes for Tauriel, and it blinded you to me - your dearest friend." Legolas only blinked as it suddenly, everything fell into place.

All the guarded looks. How she had treated the captain of the guard. How even before that, for years she had an odd look in her eyes whenever he came near her. All this time and he had been blind to it.

Elanor had been in love with him. And she left because she thought that he was in love with Tauriel.

"I am so sorry," he said softly. Elanor shook her head.

"Too late for apologies, Legolas," she replied coldly.

"I was never in love with her," he continued taking a step towards her. Elanor's eyes widened slightly. "After she left, my feelings for her faded so I knew that it could not have been real. But then… I realized that the feelings I have for you were."

"Stop speaking," Elanor said quickly, as her emotions began swirling. The words she had longed to hear all these years. And yet, it was too late.

"It is the truth," he said, taking another step to her, slowly reaching out for her hands. She quickly drew them back to her chest as she shook her head.

"Why? Why would you tell me this? Now," she said.

"I had to say something. There is a chance that we might not make it through this night and I would regret more not saying anything," he said.

"It is too late," she said. "I am bound to Haldir."

"But you do not love him," Legolas replied.

"I love him as much as I can. And what's been done cannot be undone," she said. "As always, you only think of yourself." She then straightened her back and began striding passed him to go back into the Hornburg. Legolas reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her close to him. Elanor held her breath as she looked up into his eyes, seeing clearly the feelings he held for in their depths.

"I know that it is too late, but should I die tonight, I want you do know that I will never love anyone as I love you," he said softly, his face mere inches from her. She held her breathe, for a moment forgetting that they were in full view of Haldir and the other elves. She could not move as she remained locked in a stare with the prince.

He then did the unthinkable. Without warning, he captured her lips in a searing kiss. For a moment, Elanor gave into it. She had long wondered what it would feel like. But then they both seemed to come back to their senses.

He let go of her as she pushed him away, stumbling back from him.

Without another word, she turned and fled.

Legolas watched as she left, a deep pain sinking into his chest and shame coursing through him. She was wed to someone else and he had allowed his emotions to take control of him. He then turned, seeing Haldir glare at him before striding off towards the Hornburg.

Just how much had he seen?

* * *

Elanor tried to compose herself as she walked past rows of elf soldiers that were making their way to the deeping wall. She furiously wiped at her cheeks, embarrassed that they should see her in this state. She did have a reputation as a fierce warrior.

"Elanor," Haldir said, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards an alcove where they could have a bit of privacy. "What did he say to you?" Elanor shook her head quickly, shame and guilt coursing through her. Though she had not initiated, it took her a moment to push him away.

"I cannot bear to say it out loud," she said, staring up at him. Haldir reached up and gently caressed her cheek.

"I am your husband. You do not need to hide your pain from me," he said softly. She stared up at him, feeling altogether unworthy to be his mate. For a moment when Legolas was confessing, part of her heart had soared. For a moment, she had once again allowed herself to wonder what it would have been like if she had ended up with him.

And he had kissed her, but it seemed Haldir had either not seen it or was too noble an ellon to mention it, knowing their history.

"He did not love her," she said, feeling the words pouring from her mouth of their own accord. "He said that it was me he truly loved." Haldir said nothing as he stared down at her. "But I have chosen you-"

"I know," he said, cutting her off, a sad smile gracing his face. "Though I happy to hear it, it is not necessary."

"I cannot believe his words," she said, frowning slightly. "All these years… and then-" Haldir took her face in his hands and leaned down, kissing her, cutting her off before she could say more.

"Whether it is true does not matter to me. All that matters is how you feel," he said. Elanor took a deep breath and met his eyes.

"I love you," she said, placing her hands over his. "I am your wife." He smiled and kissed her again.

"Come. We should be ready. The enemy is at our doorstep. Focus your thoughts on the battle," he said. Elanor nodded.

"We will survive this night. And then we will return to Lothlorien where we will spend the rest of our days together," she said.

"I have no doubt of that."

* * *

Legolas stood frozen on the wall, watching as Haldir pulled Elanor into his arms. It was a tender embrace and he could clearly see the affection between the two. He could feel his heart breaking in that moment, knowing that she would never be his. Even if she had been in love with him, she was now wed to another. And he knew that she would never leave Haldir. It was not their way. If only he had realized sooner. If only he had truly looked at her before and seen her feelings for him. But now it was too late.

He had kissed her. Knowing that she belonged to another. His stomach rolled in self-disgust.

"Legolas, there you are," Aragorn said, walking out to his side. Legolas did not say anything as he turned away to face the incoming enemy. All around them, the keep was in motion as soldiers moved to get into place. The battle was nearly upon them. "What is it, Legolas?"

The elf did not move. Still did not speak. He could not bring himself to admit what had transpired.

"It is nothing to worry yourself about," he finally said, turning to look at the future king, his face unreadable. "We should get into place." Aragorn nodded, sensing there was something more, but did not push it.

"We must prepare…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep… Sooo wishing I had just written an Elanor-Haldir story now. God, I made Legolas so selfish and stupid.


	11. Chapter 11

Elanor stood at Haldir's side on the wall, her bow ready and every muscle in her body taunt as the rain poured upon them. The orc masses had approached the keep and were now creating a rather large raucous there. Even without the flashing lightning she could clearly see their numbers and it did strike certain fear in her heart.

How were they to overcome this? Even with the elves' reinforcements, it would be an uphill battle.

She glanced to her side, seeing Haldir standing strong, his face a picture of calm resolution as he loosely gripped his bow at his side. She took a deep breath, turning to look forward, allowing his quiet strength to flow through her. They had to survive this battle. The plan was fairly simple - they only needed to hold the keep through the night. Hold through until the newly resurrected Mithrandir returned with the Rohirrim.

The orcs continued their crude battle chant and she could sense the fear building up in the mortals. The elven warriors were silent as they waited for the command. Never had Elanor faced such a large and ominous foe. She could not help it as the words that Legolas said to her ran through her mind. He was standing not far off with Gimli, the two having forged an unlikely friendship in their time on the road.

Elanor began shaking as anger, confusion, and hurt coursed through her. Though just as suddenly as it started, she felt it abate as there was a strong pressure on her hand. Elanor looked over, seeing that Haldir had taken it and was now looking down at her. He offered the briefest of smiles as he squeezed her hand again, reminding her that he was there at her side. She nodded as she then turned back to the orc army, refocusing her thoughts. Now was not the time to think of Legolas and their troubled relationship. Or what would come later.

Now was the time to focus on survival.

She kept watching, seeing one of the king's men let loose an arrow in anxious anticipation. The orcs fell silent as one fell to the ground. Immediately, Aragorn shouted the order and long lines of elves raised their bows in the air as the orcs began running forward.

For a short moment that felt like forever, all Elanor could hear was her own slow breathing. But then the next order was given and all hell broke loose.

* * *

"Elanor!" Haldir shouted as he pulled her aside and blocked what could have been a fatal blow just over her head. She quickly sank her sword into the offending foe's gut and pushed it back off the top of the wall.

Very quickly the disarray of battle had taken over with the enemy climbing giant ladders and mounting the Deeping Wall where many archers had been stationed. Fighting in such close quarters, there was no time to use her bow and more often than not, she fought back to back with Haldir. Not far off, she could hear the dwarf and Legolas shouting out numbers back and forth to each other and assumed they must have made some game out of it. She wished that she could take such a battle so lightly. But with the threat of death so close that the stench filled her nose, she quickly turned her thoughts back to the fight, even though hints of an old memory floated through her mind.

* * *

" _TEN!" Elanor shouted, a grin on her face. She glanced over, seeing Legolas frown in frustration as he shot two arrows in quick succession._

" _TWELVE!" he shouted back, glancing over at her as he smiled slightly. Elanor rolled her eyes and quickly pulled out her sword, rushing to meet the enemy with a primitive shout on her lips. Legolas often made fun of her for it, but she did not care. She felt more strength course through her because of her._

_She quickly took out three more orcs and spun around, her eyes searching for more enemies. A shout went up among the elves that there were no more. All had been taken care of._

_Taking a deep breath, Elanor pulled out a cloth and quickly cleaned off her blade, taking the clearing in stock. They had lost none in their company, though some had sported mild injuries. She could already feel a bit of soreness from where she had taken a hit in her shoulder._

" _What's your final count?" she asked, her eyes falling on Legolas as he went around and collected arrows._

" _You heard me. Twelve," he replied. Elanor grinned._

" _I win. Thirteen," she said haughtily. Sighing, Legolas shook his head._

" _I must concede defeat to you once again, Elanor," he said. He then looked away, his eyes falling on Tauriel on the other side of the clearing. She was also busy collecting arrows. A cold shiver went through Elanor as she followed his gaze and there was a pinch of pain in her heart._

_She quickly sheathed her sword and looked around._

" _That's the second time this patrol we've come across orcs in our lands," she said, turning serious._

" _They are getting too bold," Legolas replied. Elanor glanced over, still finding him watching Tauriel as she spoke to another elf._

" _They grow in numbers. As do the spiders. As soon as we clear out a nest, another is built," she said. "Something must be done."_

" _Tauriel believes that we should go beyond our borders and destroy them in the heart of their kind," he replied. Elanor frowned as she stepped over to him, placing a hand on his arm and drawing him to look over at her. A soft jolt of electricity ran through her at the slight touch._

" _Is it wise?" she asked. "Leaving our lands to seek them out? It would take a great force."_

" _There could be some merit there, though I am not so sure that Father will see it that way," he replied. "But if he heard it from you, perhaps he would consider such a plan." Elanor frowned again._

" _What makes you think that he would listen to me?" she asked._

" _We both know that he holds you in high esteem," he said._

" _But he made Tauriel the captain of his guard. Surely, he holds her in the same esteem," she replied, willing herself to push aside any dark thoughts she held for the Silvan. It was not her fault that Legolas was fixated on her. And she knew that Thranduil had his own hopes in regards to herself and the prince._

" _If the suggestion came from you, it would hold more weight," Legolas said. Elanor looked around the clearing, her brow furrowed as she thought it over. It would make sense to shift from the defensive to the offensive. But the fact remained that they were still unsure of just what they would face if they did so. And that the Woodland Realm's king did not wish to leave these lands unless necessary._

" _I will think on this," she said, looking back to Legolas. "But we should approach it with caution."_

" _Dark times are coming, Elanor. We must begin thinking beyond our lands," he said, frowning at her._

" _Is that your thoughts or Tauriel's?" Elanor asked, a hint of bitterness entering her voice. Legolas stared at her, perplexed a moment._

" _What is it that you hold against her? She has more than proven herself despite her young age," he said, turning to face her fully, crossing his arms in front of him. Elanor shook her head._

" _It is nothing. I shall think on this," she said, turning away from him._

" _Elanor-"_

" _I said that I will think on it. Come, we should return. The King will wish to hear of these happenings," Elanor said quickly._

* * *

As the battle raged on, Elanor allowed her instincts to take over, focusing only on the enemy that surrounded her. Her back bumped into Haldir and she took small solace in his presence, which was sorely needed as it was beginning to feel as though the flow of orcs over the wall would never end.

She wasn't so confident that they would last through the night at this rate. They were doing a fair job at dispensing of whoever came over, but there were still many more beyond waiting to breach the walls. Another group of orcs had taken a battling ram to the main gate of the fortress where a number of soldiers were now redirecting.

From somewhere off, she heard Aragorn shouting. She finished felling another orc and turned to look, seeing him pointing down below. Hopping up on the wall, she looked down, seeing a large orc with a torch running towards them. Arrows pierced him, but it did not stop me.

"Elanor!" Haldir shouted, grabbing her arm to pull her away.

Heart pounding, she ran for a set of stairs, making for a battalion of elves waiting in the deep. She and Haldir had just cleared them when the explosion went off and many who had been up on the wall or around it were thrown to the ground, herself and Haldir included.

For a moment, it was as though time had stopped as Elanor coughed and looked around, the only sound coming to her ears was that of her own haggard breathing. All around her, others were starting to pull themselves up from the ground. There was a light ringing in her ears.

"Elanor!" someone shouted. She blinked as she looked over, seeing Haldir already on his feet at her side. He leaned over, grabbing her arm and attempting to lift her. "GET UP, ELANOR!"

Everything came rushing back to life as she pushed up and quickly ran the rest of the way to the battalion, Haldir at her side. She turned just in time to hear Aragorn shout for them to shoot. Her eyes widening, Elanor felt her blood rush through her head as she gripped her sword, gulping as hundreds of orcs poured in through the hole left in the explosion's wake.

Shouting she then charged with the rest of her kin, eagerly meeting the enemy as she ducked, swung, parried and stabbed. She would be damned if she went down without a fight.

This battle was not yet lost.

* * *

Legolas jumped from the wall and continued shooting, only putting aside his bow to pull out his swords as the enemy drew too near. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a flash of blonde hair and turned slightly, seeing Elanor quickly take down two foes. She was already covered in mud and blood, a wildfire entering her eyes as she gracefully spun and fought, Haldir not far from her side.

He had forgotten what it was like to watch her fight.

"Do not get distracted, Legolas!" Aragorn shouted at him. He wasn't sure where he was, but Legolas returned his attention to the fight. He wouldn't do the men of Rohan any good if he were dead.

Elanor let out a shout of pain, feeling one of the orc's blades slice her arm. It was only a nick, but she quickly turned her focus, stabbing the offender and pushing it away from her.

"Fall back! Fall back to the Keep!"

Breathing heavily, she glanced around, seeing many already heading in that direction. Frantically, she looked around, her eyes searching for Haldir. He had been at her side nearly the entire fight and now she could not find him.

Finally, she saw him near the wall, fighting off two orcs at once. She started for him, running at full speed.

"HALDIR! FALL BACK!" she screamed, stopping a moment to duck under an orc blade before hitting said orc in the middle with her sword. She looked back over, meeting his eyes for a moment as he nodded towards her. Pushing away from the orc, she started towards him again.

She wasn't quite sure just where they had come from, but suddenly there were two more orcs at his back. Two orcs that Haldir did not see as he was too focused on those in front of him. She tried to run faster, but it felt as though her feet had suddenly turned to stone, slowing her down in the slippery mud.

"HALDIR! BEHIND YOU!" she shrieked, an orc jumping in her way. With another shout, she turned her eyes from him for a moment to take care of the enemy already in front of her. Once done, she turned back towards him, running at top speed.

Try as she might, she could not get there. She nearly slid to a stop when she saw the first had sunk his blade into Haldir's back, followed by the other.

"NO!"

He kept fighting, even as he was stabbed yet again. Pulling out her bow, she quickly shot the two of them down as Haldir killed a third before sinking to the ground. Elanor barely reached him in time to stop him from completely falling to the ground.

For a moment, she did not care that the battle raged around them or that she was opening herself up to attack. Shaking, she ran her fingers over his face as he looked up at her, the light quickly leaving his grey eyes. She shook her head as her eyes roved over his injuries.

"We can fix this! I can fix this!" she shouted, meeting his eyes again. He smiled gently as he lifted his hand to her cheek.

"You cannot fix this, Elanor," he said, his voice weak.

"I just… we need to get you inside!" she shouted, starting to try and stand, though slipped in the mud and fell back down. He shook his head.

"You must keep fighting. Leave me. You are not safe here," he said before coughing.

"I cannot," Elanor replied.

"You must… and know that for the last several days… you have made me happier than I have ever been," he said.

"Stop talking like that," Elanor snapped. "You are not dying." He smiled briefly before he looked at someone just over Elanor's shoulder.

"Keep her safe," he said before returning his gaze to Elanor.

"No! No!" she shouted again, watching as his hand dropped and the life completely left his eyes. "NOOO!"

Elanor was not sure just who was behind her that he spoke to, but there were suddenly strong arms wrapping around her body, pulling her up and away from Haldir.

"I CAN'T LEAVE HIM!" she shrieked, instantly fighting back.

"You'll die if you stay here!" a voice shouted, continuing to drag her away. It wasn't until they shoved her towards the keep that she turned and saw Legolas. "GET TO THE KEEP!" He then turned and ran off.

For a moment, Elanor looked around, allowing herself to feel overwhelmed. All around there were bodies littering the ground. Orcs running to the keep. She was not sure where to go or what to do. A sharp pain filled her chest as she sputtered slightly and nearly bent over, her hand grasping at her armor.

" _You must fight back, Elanor… do not lose hope just yet…"_

Shaking her head, Elanor pushed her pain aside and forced herself to focus on the here and now as she turned and began running to the keep.

There was still much to do before this battle would be over. She could not lose herself just yet.

* * *

"Elanor, you are injured," Legolas said when he ran into her a bit later. She was not sure just how he had made it into the keep, but there he was, blocking her from running towards the gate.

"I am fine," she said, moving to walk past him.

"You need a healer!" he shouted.

"When this is over, then I will seek help," she shouted back, finally pushing him aside. Everything had descended into chaos and she could not find where it was she should go to help. Men were running to barricade the front gate, while others were fighting to guard the keep. Perhaps she could stand on top of the gate and help from there.

"ELANOR!" he shouted, grabbing her arm. Elanor spun around to look at him, her eyes wide in anger. "They need more help guarding the keep." She nodded and started off in the other direction, pulling her sword out as she went.

"Ride out with me!" Aragorn shouted at the king, turning from the door. Elanor stepped away, breathing heavily as she stared at it. The assault had gone on through the night and she was not sure how much longer the men could keep it up, herself included. If she were growing weary, she could only assume that the mortal men were long losing their own strength.

She watched on as the King of Rohan stood in contemplation. It was frustrating. Ride out. Do not ride out. It mattered not. He just needed to make a decision. She started towards him, intending to throttle the man - king or not - until he said something.

Just before she reached him, he nodded and orders went out for horses. Looking back at the door, she sheathed her sword, and then took off towards the man going for the horses, asking for one of her own.

"You cannot ride with us, my lady," the king said, seeming perplexed that she would join them.

"Why not?" she asked, her eyes blazing. He did not answer at first. "Haldir has fallen. That makes me the next in command of the elven forces. As such, I will ride with you. It is my place and my duty." The king only stared at her a moment before nodding and making eye contact with the man, motioning for him to do her bidding. He then walked off.

While she waited, Elanor took stock of herself. Her armor was long covered in mud and orc blood, some of her own mixed in, though all her wounds were superficial. Nothing that needed immediate attention. She would be able to make it through this last, final assault. Whether it ended in defeat or victory mattered not at this point. She would either die out there or then she would seek help afterwards.

"Why?" Legolas asked, walking up to her. Elanor paused for a moment and glanced at him before pulling her quiver off to check how many arrows she had left. There wasn't much, but she had managed to regain a few in the battle. It would have to do.

"Because it is what I must do," she said, her voice surprisingly calm. She knew that she was functioning off pure adrenaline and it would not be long before everything caught up to her. For a moment, Haldir flashed before her eyes. The way that he looked at her during their wedding. Then seeing the orcs sink their weapons into him. She shook her head. Now was not the time to be thinking of such things.

She slung her quiver back over her shoulder and finally allowed herself to meet his eyes. There was so much there that he was not saying. Blinking a bit, she took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"I will ride out," she said firmly. He nodded.

"And then you must see a healer," he said, reaching out to touch her shoulder. Elanor stepped back and out of his reach, looking over to see men leading in horses.

"It is time," she said. Without another look she walked over, grabbing the reins of a horse and inspecting it closely. She could still feel him watching her out of the corner of her eye, but made no move towards him.

Instead, she hopped up on the horse and looked around, waiting for order as the sun began shining through the windows. Around her, the king and his men mounted their own horses. Gripping her reins in one hand, she pulled out her sword and waited.

This would be their final stand. And she would do her best to make it a good one. For Haldir.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can see, another chapter that I almost completely poached for the new story. But still different. And well, Haldir was supposed to die in both versions, but at the last minute I changed my mind in the new one… This one, well, there was no way around it, unfortunately… Makes the next few chapters that much more heartbreaking and dark… And seriously... why did I make my characters such assholes?


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, some of this I used, some I didn't. But gah… gutted me to write it at the time. And the next chapter. Seriously, what sort of mood was I in to write something so… this…

Elanor stood looking out over the parapet, her face a calm mask, though it was streaked in blood and dirt. With the battle over, the sounds of survivors moving through the rubble and destruction, taking care of their dead and wounded, now filled the air. A group of elven soldiers had gone to retrieve Haldir's body and said they would move it to a chamber to await their departure for Lothlorien. She ordered them to leave him there undisturbed - she would undertake the preparations on her own. She felt as though she owed it to him. Now with everything over, guilt had overtaken her.

After they had ridden out, Mithrandir did arrive with the Rohirrim and the battle had quickly turned in their favor. The orcs had been defeated and they returned to the keep with the wounded seeking out healers. She knew that she should likely seek out one herself but could not yet stand to be around others. As soon as she realized that they had won, the guilt and pain had settled in, piercing her heart like an arrow.

Haldir was gone.

Her thoughts returned to those moments before the battle, what Legolas had said to her. What he had done. Part of her did not want to admit it, but for a fleeting moment, her soul had soared. And this was fate's punishment.

Haldir did not deserve to die.

"Elanor," Legolas said softly, coming around a corner. She turned to look at him, swallowing. "Your men said you would be here." She nodded and looked back out, her keen eyes falling on the seemingly uncountable bodies - orc, men and elf - that littered the battleground surrounding the fortress.

"I should see after our remaining soldiers," she said. "With Haldir… I am now in charge of the company and should see them back to Lothlorien. We shall be needed there soon if this battle is anything to go by."

She started to walk inside, but Legolas stopped her, gently holding on to her arms.

"You're injured," he said.

"I'll be fine," she said, not meeting his eyes.

"Look at me, Elanor."

She met his eyes and he finally saw the pain swirling in them.

"You loved him," he said, the astonishment evident in his eyes. Though it was quickly replaced with shame.

"I loved him as much as I could, I told you this," she replied. "He had asked for my hand many times over the years. I could not say yes then, but he waited patiently for me."

"I am… truly sorry for my actions before," he said. Elanor stared at him a moment and nodded, looking away. "I thought that perhaps…"

"Perhaps I harbored feelings for you," she said. "I did. But after years of watching you pine for Tauriel, I could take no more."

"But my father would have never allowed me to be with her," Legolas said softly, a flash of pain in his eyes. "As I said… what I felt for her then… it was not true…"

"It matters not. Nor did it matter that your father wished for us to wed. I loved you, Legolas. And it ripped my heart to shreds to see that you would never feel the same about me," she said. "I heard you… the day you asked your father for permission to be with Tauriel. You said that you would never feel that way for me."

Legolas' eyes widened as it suddenly hit him. The years of waning. Why she had distanced herself. It was not so much that she had seen him pine for Tauriel. She had heard the words he yelled at his father that day. And like an idiot, he had then asked her in the midst of her pain – not knowing – to speak to his father on his behalf about Tauriel.

"Elanor, I am… I shouldn't have," he started. But he could not find the words to fully express his remorse. Elanor looked away, blinking.

"Haldir understood. He knew I needed time to heal and he gave that to me. He knew that I couldn't… that I would never feel the same for him, but he never pushed me. He was a good elf. He didn't deserve to die," she said softly. "We could have been happy… we were for the short time we had together…"

They stood a few moments as Elanor struggled to contain her tears.

"Tauriel left…" Legolas finally said. Elanor stared at him. "After you left, there was… We had a company of dwarves as prisoners. They were setting out to retake the Lonely Mountain. They escaped with the help of a hobbit and Tauriel went after them."

Elanor remained silent unsure of where this story was going.

"She… fell in love with one of the dwarves, but he died. After that… she could not stand the pain and left," he said.

"Where is she now?" Elanor asked softly.

"I do not know," he said. "That was over 70 years ago… I have not heard from her since even with all my travels."

"Travels?" she asked, frowning slightly.

"I found it hard to remain in Mirkwood… you had left. Tauriel had left. Things had always been strained with my father. I went to Imladris. Then the Dunedain," he said. "Mirkwood held too many difficult memories for me."

"Then you should understand why I left," Elanor said softly. "If you'll excuse me… I have duties to attend to."

She stepped around him and walked away, leaving Legolas alone on the parapet with his own thoughts and inner turmoil.

* * *

While the others around him ate and drank in the hall, Legolas sat silently, staring at the mug of ale in his hand. He kept searching for Elanor but had overheard one of the Lothlorien elves tell the king and Aragorn that she wished to remain in her chambers, now in mourning for her slain husband. Aragorn had looked over at him, but the elf prince looked away, instead finding a relatively quiet corner where he could be alone, still not wishing to speak with anyone.

All this time and Elanor had been deeply in love with him. So much so that she could no longer take his rejection and left Mirkwood without a word just so she could get away from him. For a hundred years she had been within the forests of Lothlorien, seeking peace and healing. Then she had found it and pledged herself to another; an elf who would likely have given her the world to see her smile. And then he had selfishly confessed his feelings for her. Stolen a kiss. Just after her husband had been killed.

He could only imagine the torment that she was currently going through.

Sighing, Legolas took a sip from his ale, his soul lamenting for the pain he had caused. For his missed chance. If he had realized before… If she had told him… Perhaps they could have saved themselves this pain. But now they could never be together. Only once before had an elf remarried after the death of a spouse. Even if it were possible, he doubted that she would want anything to do with him now. Not after everything he had put her through.

Legolas continued sitting there, allowing his memories to overcome him. Wondering just why it was he had not seen it before.

* * *

_Legolas stepped outside onto a small balcony basked in moonlight. Elanor was there, a statue of beauty and poise. She did not move, though he knew that she had sensed his arrival._

" _Why are you here?" she asked, not turning to face him._

" _You were missed at the feast tonight," he said softly._

" _I am tired. We had a difficult patrol," she replied, her voice lacking any feeling. He stepped up to her side, studying her profile. Her chin was lifted slightly, though her eyes were fixed out on the forest._

" _I heard," he said, turning to look out to the forest. "Tauriel informed me of all that happened."_

_There it was, a nearly imperceptible wince. But just as quickly, it was gone and her face was smooth and void of all emotion._

" _She fought bravely," she replied. Legolas turned to her, his eyes full of worry._

" _Are you injured in any way?" he asked, stepping closer and reaching for her hand. Elanor stepped just out of his reach._

" _I am fine," she said._

" _You do not seem fine," he replied._

" _Why would you care?" she asked, a bit of ice entering her voice though she did not look at him. Legolas frowned. This was most unlike Elanor. Something must have happened while out on patrol._

" _Because you are my oldest, more loyal friend. Of course, I care about you," he replied earnestly. Elanor slowly turned to face him, her blue eyes swimming in some emotion that he could not decipher._

" _And that is all," she said, her voice dull. She turned and started to walk back inside the hall. He reached out and grabbed her arm, holding on to her._

" _You frighten me, Elanor," he said softly, still searching her face for something that would tell him what was going through her mind. She stopped and stared at him a moment, a slender eyebrow raised at him._

" _This frightens you?" she asked softly. "Me?"_

" _The way you are acting at this moment, yes," he said honestly. "What happened to your warmth? Did something happen on the patrol?" Elanor looked away, laughing bitterly as she pulled herself from his grasp._

" _Now you choose to see," she muttered._

" _What is it, Elanor?" he asked._

" _Nothing," she said, her face once again returned to its emotionless mask as she looked over at him. "It matters not."_

" _You are hiding things from me. Why?" he asked softly, his voice pleading with her. Elanor remained silent. "You have never hidden things from me before."_

" _Yes, I have hid things, but not so much that you could not see," she said softly. "It is you who have chosen not to see." She then turned and walked back inside. Legolas moved to follow her. "Leave me be, Legolas." He stopped and watched her walk away, her dress floating behind her. He then sighed and walked back to the railing, leaning against it._

_What had he not seen?_

* * *

The next day, Elanor stood in a room looking out the lone window. It was dark with nothing but a few candles lighting it. Behind her lying on a cot covered in a sheer cloth was Haldir. After her talk with Legolas, she had returned to the room, calling for buckets of water and cloth. She then spent hours removing his armor and tenderly cleaning his body and hair from the cursed orc blood before cleaning his armor and then replacing it.

Following that, she couldn't even muster the energy to clean herself, choosing instead to collapse on the bed in the room next to where Haldir was lain out. But sleep did not come to her. Instead, she lay there as all the memories of her time with Haldir played through her mind.

* * *

" _Who are you?" a voice called out. Elanor stopped and looked around, her hands up. She knew as soon as she passed through the borders and entered the woods of Lothlorien, the elven guard would find her. She did not want them to feel threatened._

" _Elanor, daughter of Ailmar of Mirkwood and Ellania of Lothlorien," she shouted. Her ears picked up the sound of feet moving through the forest - about ten by her count. Her eyes flashed over to see one figure, a tall elven man with long blonde hair, step out. He was followed by others who surrounded her, their bows nocked._

" _We've had no word of your arrival," the man said, studying her. Elanor pulled her hood off, meeting his eyes._

" _The Lady Galadriel should be expecting me," she said, willing her voice to be strong. She wasn't afraid they would hurt her - it was clear that she was their kin - but after years of dealing with her own inner pain, she felt broken inside. Once he took in her face, the man's expression softened. He ordered his men to put away their bows and then bowed._

" _We welcome you to Lothlorien, my lady. I am Haldir, marchwarden of these lands," he said, meeting her eyes. "Allow me to escort you to the Lady Galadriel."_

_He motioned for her to follow him and Elanor moved, falling into step with him. She could feel him watching her as the others in the patrol moved back to whatever positions they had been in prior to her arrival._

" _Where are the others going?" she ventured to ask._

" _They will keep watch. We cannot allow for our borders to go unguarded for too long," he said. Elanor nodded, her thoughts going back to Mirkwood and the ever constant guards at its gates. She sucked in a quick breath, shaking her head. She would not let her thoughts fly through the halls of Mirkwood to their ultimate destination._

" _Does something distress you, my lady?" Haldir asked._

" _No, nothing," she replied quickly. "I am just tired. I barely stopped on my way here." Haldir did not say anything more, though continued to watch her when he could. Elanor blinked rapidly, willing the tears to stay at bay. She did not want to seem weak in front of the marchwarden._

" _Where is your warrior spirit," she thought to herself. Quickly rearranging her face into a more neutral expression, she held her head a bit higher as they made their way towards the city of Caras Galadhon. It was her father's suggestion that she come here, thinking it would be good for whatever it was that plagued his daughter. While she had not mentioned the full reasoning behind her pain, she was fairly sure that he knew._

" _How long do you intend to stay in Lothlorien?" Haldir asked._

" _I am not sure," she admitted._

" _What is it that brings you to our lands?" he then asked. Elanor shot him a look, not expecting to have such a chatty guide. Or perhaps she had spent too long in the company of King Thranduil, who made it a point to avoid idle chatter._

" _I wanted to spend time here. My mother and her family were originally from here. She left long ago to spend some time in Imladris where she met my father while he was on a diplomatic venture from Mirkwood," she said._

" _Yes, I recall you said that you were the daughter of Ellania," he said. "It has been such a long time since she was here." Elanor nodded._

" _She died… many years ago," she said, her voice growing soft. "A band of orcs attacked while she was journeying."_

" _I am sorry. I did not hear of her passing," Haldir said. "She was a bright presence. A favorite of Lady Galadriel." Elanor did not respond, choosing instead to continue walking in silence. Haldir respected this, sensing he had inadvertently stepped into a sensitive topic._

_They were now entering the edges of the city, with more elves appearing, going to and fro. Some nodded their heads towards Haldir while most studied the newcomer, who looked so very much like the Lady of the Wood herself, though her long hair was tied back in a braid and she was dressed in dirty and rumpled traveling clothes, a bow and quiver on her back with a sword at her side._

" _I hope that your journey was uneventful," Haldir ventured to say as they neared the large home where Galadriel and Celeborn dwelled._

" _It was," she replied shortly. They continued forward, starting up the tall, long staircase. Once they neared the top, Haldir stopped suddenly._

" _Here is where I leave you, my lady," he said as Elanor turned to face him. He bowed, a soft smile on his face. "I must return to my post, but I hope to see you again very soon." She smiled briefly._

" _Thank you," she said, nodding her head towards him. She then turned and took a deep breath before ascending the rest of the stairs._

" _My dearest great-niece, Elanor," Galadriel said, a bright smile on her face as Elanor stepped in._

" _Lady Galadriel…"_

* * *

Elanor wiped at the tears in her eyes as she continued to stare out the window. She had managed to bathe that morning and get dressed for the journey. She could not even bring herself to go into the hall to eat, choosing instead to dine on her own in her room, though even then she barely touched the food placed before her. She planned to wait until they rode out here in this chamber, at Haldir's side.

It was better than being out there, facing the others. Or Legolas. She had not seen him since they spoke on the parapet the day before. And she did not wish to speak with him, the memory of their kiss still blazing in her mind. She turned, looking towards the body a moment before crossing the room and sitting in a chair next to it.

"I'm so sorry, Haldir," she whispered. "I was undeserving of you…"

She reached out as if to touch his face through the fabric, but stopped, drawing her hand back in. Instead, she closed her eyes…

* * *

" _Lady Elanor," a light voice said from behind her. Elanor turned, seeing Haldir standing there with a smile on his face. She couldn't help the grin that started to break forth as she walked over to him. "You look lovely." He took her hand, bringing it to his lips._

" _Thank you, Haldir," she said, slightly breathless from her afternoon spent in training. She hadn't touched a sword in years, but for some reason that day, she felt the desire to train again. As more days passed during her time in Lothlorien, the more she wished to leave where Galadriel dwelled and rejoin the world. The more she learned and experienced in the Golden Wood, the more she was starting to feel alive again. And part of that was due to the marchwarden, who never failed to spend time visiting her when he came in from patrol. Those visits were starting to become longer each time as well._

" _I did not think that we were to expect you until tomorrow," Elanor said, watching as Haldir stood. He squeezed her hand before letting it go._

" _There was nothing to report, so I rode ahead of my men," he replied. Elanor raised her eyebrows._

" _Pray tell, was there something that quickened your return?" she asked, surprising herself at her boldness. Haldir's smile widened. For years he had watched the great-niece of the Lady of the Wood, seeing her slowly open up. He still did not know just why she had come to the Golden Wood or what had befallen her before her arrival that had her in such a broken state. But with each visit, the coldness about her seemed to melt just a bit more. He hoped that she was finally opening up to him._

" _There may have been," he said. "Shall I escort you back to the house?"_

_Elanor sheathed her sword and nodded._

" _Of course," she said. The two began walking from the training fields towards the center of Caras Galadhan._

" _You've been training more," he commented, glancing over at her._

" _Felt it was time I got back in form," she replied. "It feels good, having a sword in my hands again."_

" _You looked magnificent, especially for one who has not trained in such a long time," he said. Elanor looked to the ground, feeling the heat fill her cheeks. "Perhaps you would care to join us on the guard…"_

" _Perhaps… but not just yet," she said. Haldir nodded. He looked forward, noticing they were nearing the palace._

" _If may speak boldly for a moment," he said, stopping. Elanor stopped at his side, turning to face him. Her blue eyes were wide in surprise. "Over the years I have grown rather fond of your company. And I hope that you have grown fond of me as well…"_

" _I have," Elanor said softly._

" _I have spoken with Lady Galadriel and received her and Lord Celeborn's blessing… but…," he stopped speaking for a moment, seeming uncharacteristically uncertain. Elanor took a step closer to him, wanting to hear and yet not hear what he was about to say. "I wish… I hope… that you would consent to a union… with me… I know that I am a mere marchwarden of these lands and that your station is… higher than mine, but… I feel that there is no elleth that would make a better match. I have come to love you, Elanor and I hope that you have come to feel the same..."_

_Her eyes widened even more as she was stunned into silence. She had suspected as much but wasn't sure how to respond to his request._

_She was fond of him. She felt as though he was the closest friend she had in Lothlorien, though she was starting to open up to more of the people. But she wasn't sure that she wanted to spend the rest of her immortal days as his partner. She knew that he was a good ellon and would make a good husband. And this was the closest she had come to caring for someone since she left Mirkwood. But still, she did not feel as though she were capable of loving him in the way he deserved. Her heart would always belong to the prince of Mirkwood._

" _Haldir... I do care for you… but… I cannot agree to your request," she said softly. Haldir frowned, the hurt evident in his grey eyes. Immediately, she felt a small pain - she did not wish to upset him. Or lose his friendship. She sorely needed it._

" _May I ask… why?" he said. She stared at him a moment before sighing. She reached out and took his hands, noticing how comfortably her small ones fit into his large ones._

" _There is much that I have not shared with you," she started. She looked around, seeing there were others around. "Perhaps we should go somewhere a bit more private…" Haldir nodded, recognizing that she was about to share more than she had before. Something painful. He quickly led her away from the main paths, into the forest surrounding the city. After a few minutes, they were on their own surrounded by golden mellorn trees. Once they stopped, Elanor took a deep breath and slowly let it out._

" _I left Mirkwood… because of a broken heart," she said, too afraid to meet his eyes. Despite the deep pain she had felt, she felt childish saying it out loud. "I was in love with him… for years. But he loved another and it became very clear that he would never feel the same for me. It grew too difficult… Even though his father and mine had expressed their wishes for us to marry, I knew that I could not stand a union where he would be resentful. Unable to be with the one he truly loved. Even though we had been friends since we were eflings… so my father suggested I leave. Come here."_

_There was silence for so long that Elanor ventured a glance at Haldir. She was not sure what she had been expecting. Perhaps ridicule. Or something like that. But instead she saw understanding. And a softness._

" _It is because you could not capture his heart," he replied. Elanor nodded._

" _I knew that I could not… While I cared for him deeply and he did care for me, it would never be more than friendship on his part. And well… he tends to be unaware of the hurt that he inflicts," she said. "He knows not what he does, but I could not bear it longer…"_

" _Do you still love him?" Haldir asked. Elanor took a deep breath._

" _Yes," she admitted softly. "I wish that I did not, but I do. And I fear that even if I agreed to your request that I… that I might not ever come to love you as you love me."_

_Haldir nodded, a flash of a rueful smile appearing._

" _So, it is out of honor that you will not wed me," he said. Elanor nodded._

" _I understand that you are still seeking healing. And that you are unsure that your feelings will be the same as mine. But I ask that perhaps you not completely toss me aside," he said. "At least, not just yet… I will wait for you, Elanor. Wait for you to heal, if that is what it takes."_

" _But what if that day never comes?" Elanor asked, her brow furrowed._

" _Then at least you will always have my friendship," he said. "To be at your side, in whatever form, that is all I wish." Elanor smiled softly, walking over to him._

" _Thank you, Haldir," she said. She then stepped closer, her heart starting to race slightly as she wrapped her arms around him, leaning her head against his chest. Haldir's eyes widened slightly in shock before he slowly wrapped his around her._

* * *

Elanor opened her eyes, staring down at Haldir once again. It seemed as though he were merely sleeping.

"Why did we come here?" she whispered. "We should have never left. Why did Galadriel ask us to come?"

" _Because it was the right thing to do…"_

"Yes, I know, you fool," Elanor said. "But we could have been happy together… if we had a chance…"

She finally reached out, placing her hand on his that was folded across his chest.

"If I had a chance," she amended. "What I would give for another chance… I wouldn't have hesitated… I wouldn't have waited so long. You deserved so much better, Haldir."

The tears continued to course down her cheeks as she thought back to that last argument just before they left...

* * *

" _Lady Galadriel and Lord Elrond wish for you to lead an army of elves to Helm's Deep?" she asked softly, her brow furrowed. Haldir nodded. Elanor felt as though all her breath had left her as she turned away, looking down at the slender band of gold on her finger._

_Seven days. They had spent just seven days together as man and wife. And now she might lose him forever._

" _Do not fear for me, Elanor," he said. "I will return to you."_

" _But you don't know that," Elanor said, turning to face him, her eyes now bright blue from her tears. "An insurmountable orc army is marching towards Helm's Deep. There are not enough men to defend it. You very well could die there!"_

" _Then I die doing what is right and honorable," Haldir said, his voice rising. "They need help or else they will be slaughtered. Along with them the rightful king to Gondor!" Elanor froze as her eyes widened._

" _Aragorn, he is there?" she asked. Haldir nodded. She looked away, her thoughts spinning. That meant that his party was also there. And among them… Legolas. She shook her head, pushing the thought away. She carefully thought over everything Haldir had said to her - what Elrond and Galadriel had seen. If Isengard was marching on the kingdom of Rohan, they would come for Lothlorien next. No one would be safe. A steely determination suddenly replaced her fear._

" _Then I will go too," she said, looking up at him._

" _It is dangerous. I would feel more comfortable if you stayed within Lothlorien," he said calmly._

" _What you said is right… The battle is at our door. Whether I stay or go, I will face danger, Haldir. At least let me face it at your side," she said firmly. He continued to study her. She moved across the room and took his face in her hands. "As your wife…"_

" _What if our union has… There is more than just yourself to think about," he said softly._

" _We cannot let that stop us from doing what is right," Elanor said. "You are right. We must go and honor the allegiance between elves and men."_

" _He will be there," Haldir said softly._

" _It matters not. I have chosen you," Elanor said. "I am bound to you and you alone." He sighed and nodded._

" _Very well. We will go… together," he said. Elanor smiled and kissed him._

" _Let us prepare for the journey…"_


	13. Chapter 13

There was a knock at the door. Elanor looked up, frowning. She had requested that she be undisturbed and left word with two of the elven warriors to not let any enter.

"Come in," she said, barely hiding the irritation in her voice as she stood. The door open and Aragorn stepped in. She bowed. "Lord Aragorn."

"Please, you do not need to bow to me," he said humbly. She looked up and nodded. He glanced over at the body. "He was a great warrior. And more than that, he was a great friend. He fought valiantly."

"That he did," she said softly, glancing at his body before looking back to Aragorn.

"King Theoden wished for me to inform you that he would like to honor Haldir and the elves that gave their lives in battle by burying them in Edoras," he said. Elanor was silent a few moments, considering it. "And we hope that perhaps you would stay… the danger is not over. We will be heading into another battle soon and you and your kind showed great skill. We will need that on our side."

Elanor looked up at him, sensing that he was sincere in his request. But she also knew that she could not stay - not while Legolas was here. There was also the matter that their own lands needed protecting. She knew that this danger was not over and that it would soon taint all of Middle Earth. Every moment they tallied here was a moment that Lothlorien could be in danger.

"I do not wish to offend, but I know that the Lady Galadriel would wish that Haldir be laid to rest with our kin," she said softly.

"What do you wish?" Aragorn asked. Elanor swallowed.

"I wish to be able to visit my husband's grave often," she whispered. "And I feel that we are needed to guard our own borders." He nodded.

"I understand," he said. "I will take my leave then." He bowed and then walked out of the room. Elanor took a deep breath and returned to the window, wringing her hands as she looked out. A lone tear fell down her cheek. She knew that no matter where she went, there would be painful memories.

Was happiness forever out of her grasp?

* * *

Legolas strode up to Aragorn after the king walked away, his brow furrowed.

"She will not stay?" he asked softly. Aragorn shook his head.

"She wishes to return to Lothlorien with her kin and Haldir," he said. "She is in mourning." Legolas nodded, looking away. Aragorn studied the elf intently. "I sense there is something more…"

Legolas looked up at him and then glanced around the crowded room. He motioned for the ranger to follow him somewhere more secluded.

"I spoke to you of Elanor… and Tauriel," he said softly.

"You were childhood friends with Elanor," Aragorn said. "Close with the both of them."

"We grew up together in Mirkwood. Elanor… her father and mother were highly regarded among my father's court. To say that we were close, we were never apart," Legolas said. "We trained together. Became great warriors together. Tauriel was made captain of my father's guard and Elanor… my father was very fond of her…"

"He intended for you to wed," Aragorn said. Legolas nodded.

"At the time I was in love with Tauriel. Or at least I had thought that I was. And I was blind to the fact that Elanor was in love with me," Legolas said. "I did not know at the time, but that is why she left Mirkwood. It was sudden and without notice. She had been in Lothlorien for a hundred years."

"She needed space to heal her wounded heart," Aragorn added, having long been versed in the ways of the elves as he had grown up among them. Legolas nodded.

"I have been so foolish, Aragorn," he admitted. "When I saw her in Lothlorien, my heart soared. It was as if fate had brought us back together. And then I saw her with Haldir… It was as if I had become possessed. I knew that my father had intended us to be together, but at the time I tossed her aside like nothing. But once she had become someone else's… I wanted nothing more to get her back. I… just before the battle started… I kissed her… Not knowing the torment I had already put her through…"

Aragorn sighed and shook his head. It was rather unlike the normally calm and rational elf, though he supposed love made even the most sane person act irrational. Even one who had lived for thousands of years.

"Then why do you want her to stay?" he asked. "You know what you must do, Legolas. Let her go. Let her return to her people and grieve."

"But I wish to make things right-"

"Let her go, Legolas," Aragorn said. "We have been friends for a very long time. Trust me… you must let her go." Legolas stared at him a moment before nodding.

"Of course," he said.

* * *

It was a mournful procession. Elanor stood still as stone, silent, as she watched the elven soldiers silently file into the room and then lift the pallet that held Haldir onto their shoulders.

She followed behind them, her eyes not leaving his body, as they walked through the corridors of the keep and outside to where a wagon had been brought that would carry the marchwarden home. Behind it, another soldier stood holding the reins of a horse that she would ride. There were not many of her kind left after the battle - only a small battalion. But they had fought bravely and needed to be led home.

She stopped at the top of the stairs, bowing to King Theoden, Aragorn, Lady Eowyn and Eomer at his side.

"I bid you a safe journey home," the king said solemnly.

"Thank you," Elanor said softly, her eyes barely leaving the ground. She then turned and made her way to the horse, the soldier helping her mount. It was only then that she ventured a look back up the stairs. Her eyes found Legolas standing next to the dwarf, a woeful expression on his face.

It was then that a flash exploded through her mind.

_Elanor…_

Elanor closed her eyes, reaching down to steady herself on the horse. The elf at her side rushed up, concerned.

"My lady," he said softly.

 _You know what it is you must do…_ the voice continued. She knew in that moment it was Galadriel.

"But Lothlorien," Elanor murmured, her eyes still shut.

_Our warriors can protect our borders. You are needed there. The danger has not passed. They need you…_

"Haldir…"

_He and our kin will be at rest in Edoras. You must stay…_

Elanor opened her eyes and looked upon the wagon in front of her, seeing Haldir lying there. She took a deep breath and slowly let it out, knowing they were waiting to hear her orders.

"Help me down," she said, looking to the soldier. In confusion, he held his hand out as she took it and swiftly dismounted, then made her way back to a confused Theoden and Aragorn.

"I will stay," she said resolutely.

"We are grateful, my lady, but… what has changed your mind?" Theoden asked.

"Lady Galadriel," she said. "She wishes that I stay and offer my help further." She glanced over, seeing a look of confusion on Legolas' face, though she quickly averted her eyes back to the king. "There is to be another battle and I am best put to use here."

The king nodded and glanced around.

"As soon as the rest of ours are ready, we will set out for Edoras," he replied.

"I will have my men help in whatever way that they can," she said softly, a new strength beginning to fill her eyes.

"Very good."

* * *

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I did not know you were here," Eowyn said as she walked out and saw Elanor standing there, looking out over the landscape. The elf glanced back at her and offered a small smile, hoping to avail any worry. While the rest of the keep was in a flurry of activity, hoping to go back to the warmth of Edoras, she had needed a few moments to herself. More than that, she was avoiding Legolas. Though it appeared as though he was also avoiding her. After giving orders, she had quickly sought out the small quiet span of balcony to clear her thoughts.

"It is quite alright," she said. "You do not need to leave." She then turned back to the view as Eowyn nervously stepped to her side.

"If you wish, I have many gowns that you could borrow while we are at court. If you would be more comfortable," she said.

"Thank you, but I am fine," Elanor said, glancing down at her armor and breeches. "I am rather comfortable like this. It is all I used to wear for many years in Mirkwood. I prefer it, to be honest." Eowyn nodded.

"I am… truly sorry for your loss," she said, thinking it was Elanor's grief that had her in self-seclusion. Elanor winced as she looked to the ground.

"Thank you," she said softly, feeling the human woman studying her. In truth, it was partly grief for the loss of Haldir. But also because of guilt. And the fact that she could not look at Legolas without conflict ripping her soul apart. "He was a great elf."

"It must be of comfort to have one of your own here," Eowyn continued. Elanor looked over at her. "I had heard that Legolas is also from Mirkwood." Elanor nodded and quickly looked away, worried the woman would see everything in her eyes.

"Legolas and I… much time has passed since we were last close," Elanor said quickly. Eowyn continued to study her.

"If there is something you wish to speak about… I assure you, I am a good listener," Eowyn said, offering a small smile. "Sometimes it helps to lay bare one's soul." Elanor swallowed, unsure if she could. But part of her knew that Eowyn spoke truth. And part of her longed to finally clear her mind. She had watched the woman act with bravery and valor. And for some inexplicable reason, she felt some sort of kindredness with her.

"There is one thing you must know about elves," she started. "Because we live forever, when we fall in love… we fall in love deeply. And there is part of us that will always remain with the object of our affection."

"You speak of Haldir," Eowyn said. Elanor bit her lip, trying to stop herself. But it was too late. She had opened the floodgate and could not stop.

"I speak of Legolas," Elanor said softly, not looking at her as the words began pouring out. "It was so long ago. But he loved another. And because of that, I left for Lothlorien, thinking that with time and being away from him, I could let go of my feelings and eventually learn to love another…"

Eowyn was silent, sensing that there was more she wished to say.

"I had thought I finally let them go. I had felt a growing fondness for Haldir. But then… the fellowship arrived in Lothlorien and suddenly, my soul was once again in torment. Torn in two. For I still had my feelings for Legolas though I had grown them for Haldir as well," she said. "I was determined to show myself that I was no longer a slave to my affections for the prince… And I thought I had truly passed them. I agreed to marry Haldir and for several blissful days, we were happy… but then we came here… and before the battle… I met Legolas and… there they still were…"

Elanor covered her mouth with her hand, worried about what else would come from her mouth. Eowyn was silent at her side, not expecting the woman to confess so much to her. They barely knew each other, after all.

"I found for a fleeting moment, my heart soared. But then I realized what was happening and pushed him away. And then… in the battle… Haldir's death is punishment for my actions," she said, tears filling her eyes.

"You cannot place his death on your shoulders. It was not your fault, my lady," Eowyn said, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder.

"What angers me the most is that I still love Legolas," Elanor said, blinking furiously as she fought against the tears. She looked over at Eowyn. "I do not wish for this torment to continue. I have spent far too long in pain because of him."

"How does the prince feel about you now?" Eowyn asked softly. Elanor shook her head and looked away.

"It matters not. It is too late. I have been bound to another and that bond will last through life and death," she said.

Eowyn took a deep breath and then stepped towards the elf. She had never seen such raw emotion from the kind, thinking that they all were rather aloof and serious. But she knew that Elanor had fought in the battle and now commanded what was left of the troops from Lothlorien, making her a strong and formidable fighter. For her to be expressing such emotion must mean that she was in great pain.

A pain that Eowyn herself could understand to an extent as her thoughts turned to Lord Aragorn. She knew that his affections lie with another.

But she had seen the way that the elf prince had watched Elanor. For a moment, she swore she had seen a flash of something in his eyes. Something that told her that perhaps Elanor's affections were returned. However, what the elf had said remained in her mind - she had been bound to another through life and death. There was a level of finality in her voice that Eowyn could not fathom.

"I am so sorry for your pain, my lady," she said softly. Elanor shook her head then straightened her back, quickly wiping away the tears from her cheeks as she fought to regain control of herself, now suddenly rather embarrassed at her outburst.

"I must put it aside," she said, strength entering her voice. "We will leave soon and there is much that I must focus on." She turned to Eowyn. "I apologize for my outburst. It was unsightly." Eowyn smiled softly and reached out, taking her hand and squeezing it.

"Do not think of it," she said. "And please, if you need a sympathetic ear, do not hesitate to find me." Elanor nodded and for a moment, a faint smile came across her face.

"Thank you," she said softly.

* * *

Elanor looked around the crowded hall as King Theoden lifted his goblet and led all present in a cheer for the glorious dead. While she did not shout as enthusiastically as the others, she did whisper the words as she stared down into her goblet.

The ride back to Edoras had been a mostly silent one as she refused to speak much to anyone, rather rode stoically at Aragorn's side, the remainder of her troops behind her. She felt out of all the others, he would be less likely to push her to speak. And she had been right. When he did speak to her, it was related to assessments of her kind.

She had been offered a set of rooms in the main hall and the Lady Eowyn had graciously offered her a few dresses that were much more suited to the colder climate of Rohan. She now sat at a table among her kin from Lothlorien, silently drinking from her goblet as she glanced around the room.

"Hail Haldir, our fallen leader," the elf closest to her said softly. She nodded at him and the briefest smile came across her face. She then buried her face in the goblet once again, unable to muster up any sort of feeling at the moment.

"Lady Elanor!" voice shouted. Elanor turned her eyes widening as two small creatures careened through the crowd towards her. A small jolt of happiness rushed through her as she stood and the hobbits ran to her, throwing their arms around her waist. Her eyes widened in slight shock, for she was not used to such open affection, but she had been rather happy when she heard that the hobbits had survived their ordeal with the orcs.

Her mind still wandered across the land to whatever danger Frodo and Sam could be in at that moment, but instead of letting the sadness take over, she chose to focus on Merry and Pippin who were still hugging her as she placed a hand on each of their shoulders.

The elves with her watched on in amusement, all of them rather fond of the halflings from their visit. It felt like it had been years ago.

"We saw you in Isengard but could not get a chance to speak to you until now," Merry said, grinning up at her.

"I heard that you have been on quite the adventure," she said, smiling warmly down at them. Though both noted sadly that it did not completely reach her deep blue eyes.

"Yes, first we managed to get away from the nasty orcs. And then we ran into an ent! A real live ent! Treebeard was his name. He then took us to Gandalf - you saw that he's returned, didn't you? And then we met all the other ents and somehow convinced them to take on Isengard-"

"Went into battle with them," Merry said, puffing out his small chest slightly.

"And then we won! As you saw," Pippin continued, frowning slightly at Merry for interrupting his story.

"I have heard of your adventures since last I saw you," Elanor said. Her smile waned slightly. "I am sorry to hear of Boromir. And that you were separated." The grins fell from the hobbits' faces as they glanced at each other and then looked back at Elanor.

"We're sorry too… we heard about Haldir," Merry said softly. Elanor swallowed as she nodded, placing a brave smile on her face as she reached up and began to fiddle with the ring on her right hand.

"He fought valiantly and died a hero's death," she said stoically. "We drink tonight to honor him and the others who gave their lives at Helm's Deep."

"But we are happy to see you again," Pippin said quickly. Elanor bent down and kissed each of them on top of the head.

"For now, let us be happy with our reunion," she said. The hobbits smiled up at her. "Go. I am sure that you are hungry. Feast and drink." She then shooed them off, the two scurrying over to Gimli where he sat with Legolas. Their eyes briefly met, but she turned away, instead sitting next to the other elves.

"It is okay to have these small moments of happiness," the elf from before said softly. His name was Braern and he had long been a close friend to Haldir. "He would want that for you." Elanor swallowed as she nodded and offered up another weak smile.

"I am sure that he would. He, too, was fond of the halflings," she replied, reaching for a goblet and taking a large drink.

"And rest assured - we will follow you into battle just as earnestly as we followed him," Braern continued. Elanor nodded, placing her goblet down and smoothing her dress.

"Thank you," she said. She went silent as she looked around the room where others were rejoicing in their victory. She could not help as a twinge of anger flowed through her. Just days ago, they had lost hundreds in a bloody battle. Just that day, they had buried their dead. And here they were all drinking and feasting as though all that blood had not been shed.

She then reached for her goblet, taking another large drink as she pushed her bitterness aside. She could not fault them all for wanting to celebrate the fact that they were still alive. Though she could not bring herself to celebrate in the same way, she did not wish to dim their mood.

Smoothly, she stood, the rest of the elven guard following her action as they stood as well.

"Stay. Celebrate. I just need some air," she replied before retrieving her goblet and then turning and walking away. She moved swiftly through the crowds, turning slightly to hear the hobbits starting into a loud and raucous song about their favorite tavern in Hobbiton. Another brief smile came across her face before she turned away, continuing on. She kept her back straight despite the fact that she had been drinking nearly all day in an attempt to dull the pain coursing through her.

She did not stop until she was outside the hall, looking out over the sprawling village that surrounded them. The night air was chilly, but she felt that she needed it. The cold tendrils reminded her that she was indeed alive despite the numbness that had seeped into her.

She wrapped her arms around herself and brought the goblet to her lips, gulping down the burning liquid eagerly. She knew that she had likely had too much, even for her, but it helped her to sleep at night. Otherwise she spent the hours tossing and turning in her bed, a slave to the nightmares that wracked her mind. She somehow managed to hide it from the other elves, though she was not sure how long she would be able to sustain the lie.

She could not help but feel that she had returned to her old shell.

"Elanor," a voice said softly. She looked over, seeing Legolas step out. She should have known he would follow her. He had attempted to seek her out several times since that day they spoke just after the battle. And each time, she had thwarted him, making it clear that she did not wish to consort with him at all. The drink must have dulled her senses otherwise she could have stepped in through another entrance before he reached her.

"Why are you here?" she asked coldly, turning her gaze back out to the village.

"I just… I wished to speak with you," he said softly, though he did not move any closer.

"I have nothing to say to you," she said.

"Elanor-"

"No, Legolas. There is nothing more than can be said between us," she replied curtly, cutting him off. "I only ask that you would leave me so that I can mourn in peace."

"Is that what this is? Mourning?" he asked, motioning towards her goblet. Elanor looked down at it then over at him. "Do not think I have not noticed. Others may overlook it, but I will not."

"So, you've resorted to spying on me," she said bitterly, her face betraying nothing. He could not help but wince at the deadness in her eyes.

"I am only trying to look out for you," Legolas said, desperation evident in his voice.

"Why? You are no longer my dearest friend, Legolas," she spat, turning to face him as she lowered her arms. "You no longer have the luxury for caring about me."

"I have always cared about you," he replied, his own eyes beginning to turn hard. Even though it was anger, he was glad to see some sort of reaction out of her. It was better than the deadness that had taken hold of her.

"No. You tossed me aside and only cared to step in once it was apparent that I had turned to another," she hissed. The two stared each other down a few moments, Elanor's eyes daring him to say another word. When he did not say anything, she spun on her heels and strode back inside, not stopping until she was in the seclusion of her room.

Groaning in frustration, Elanor placed her goblet on a table and began pacing. He would never leave her alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I said… so much angst…


	14. Chapter 14

The next day, Elanor stood calmly in the throne room, listening as the wizard updated them on what had happened during the night. Her blue eyes moved over to the two halflings, with Pippin looking rather ashamed. Her heart went out to him. While he had potentially put them all in danger, she understood how strong a hold such magical objects would have on someone.

Braern stood at her side, also listening in as Gandalf informed the king that he and Pippin would be leaving for Gondor. He then urged the king to ride to Gondor's aid. A back and forth between the king and Aragorn had ensued, though she calmly stayed out of it, deciding the politics of men were best left to men. She was only there to offer aid in battle - whether Rohan chose to join that battle or not.

"They should leave now. Go and fight," Braern said softly to her, his eyes still fixed on the mortals.

"It is not our place to step in," she replied, glancing over at him. She winced slightly as a small pinch of pain hit her temple. She had continued drinking after retiring in her room the night before, worked up by her argument with Legolas, until she had finally fallen into a dreamless, dead sleep. And yet, she still arose early in the morning with the rest of her kin.

"But should we not say something in aid of the future king?" he asked softly, looking over at her. Elanor looked towards Aragorn but said nothing. Finally, King Theoden said that if Gondor called for aid, then Rohan would answer. She breathed a sigh of relief, noting that the battle to end all battles would go much better with the army of Rohan there as well. And regardless of what King Theoden felt about Gondor, this war affected them all. Even if they did not go to Gondor, they would still be drawn into it further.

All hope for a final victory rested on the tiny shoulders of a hobbit miles away from them. Elanor once again hoped that Sam and Frodo were safe and still on their journey, for it would be one fraught with danger.

"It seems King Theoden has finally seen sense," she replied dully as Aragorn turned his attention to them, walking over. She bowed her head to him. "We will be ready to ride out with you when the time comes."

"Thank you, my lady," he replied, a slight look of relief on his face.

"If you'll excuse us, we should see to our warriors and make sure that they will be ready," she said. He nodded again as she and Braern strode off. "We need to replenish our arrows and see that our blades have been properly cleaned and sharpened."

"They have, my lady," Braern said.

"And also mend our armor," Elanor continued.

"Yes, my lady," he said in response.

"See to it that we have provisions ready," she said. Braern stopped and grabbed Elanor's arm, turning her to look at him.

"Everything is under control, my lady," he said. Elanor met his eyes and nodded, turning to look out across the sprawling village. "There are not many of us left so we should be ready to leave at a moment's notice."

"I want to ensure that we do not lose anymore," she replied, not looking at him. "The time of the elves is coming to an end and I want to make sure that those who remain are able to cross the seas when this is all over."

"You are a strong leader, Lady Elanor," Braern said firmly, causing her to meet his eyes. She nodded slightly. "You look as though you did not get much sleep. Perhaps you should get some rest. I can see to our soldiers."

"No, I am fine," she said, stepping away from him and continuing on, lifting her chin slightly. If she were truly to be a strong leader then now was as good a time as ever to show it.

* * *

Legolas watched as Elanor strode out of the hall with her second-in-command just after speaking with Aragorn. A frown came across his face. He knew to the others that she appeared strong and resolute, but he could see what was underneath that because he had seen it before. The dullness in her bright eyes had returned. She was once again a walking shell of herself.

He had spoken to the other elves in her company and she had not mentioned anything to them, though they admitted that she often retired early and spent much of her time alone when she was not seeing after them. He stopped short of expressing his concern for her, knowing that she would only resent him more for it.

"She is seeing to the others," Aragorn said, walking up to him. Legolas nodded, his eyes still fixed on her retreating back. "Legolas… what did I tell you?"

"You do not know her as I do," he replied, looking to Aragorn. "You do not see what I see. I worry for her."

"She has lost many of her kin as well as her husband. We are facing what likely will be an even worse battle. Our fate is in the hands of a hobbit. She is allowed her moments," Aragorn replied.

"Yes, I know. But you did not know her before now. The last time she shut herself off in this way, she disappeared for 100 years," Legolas said.

"She will not disappear until her work is done," Aragorn said firmly. "Though I suggest that when this is all over, you allow her to return to Lothlorien in peace." Legolas clenched his jaw. He had not thought so far ahead, to be honest, though he knew that he did not wish to be parted from her again. And he felt that once this war had ended, they would either be dead or she would pass on to the undying lands with the rest of their kin.

He shook his head, pushing the thoughts aside for now, watching as Gandalf strode out of the hall with Pippin scurrying after him.

"Come, we must say our farewells," Aragorn said. Legolas nodded, starting to follow him. One thing at a time. He would deal will Elanor later.

* * *

"My lady," Eowyn said, not expecting to find the elf woman in the armory. Elanor stopped, turning to see her. She tried to smile at her but found she could not.

"I am afraid that we are low on arrows," she said. "I was hoping to find materials so that we could fashion more so that we do not use up your stores."

"There is no need. We have plenty," Eowyn said, motioning for the elf to follow her.

"But still… you have many men that will need to be armed," Elanor pushed. Eowyn glanced back at her, smiling.

"You came to our aid in our greatest need. It is only fair that we attempt to return the favor," she said, continuing to walk. Elanor easily followed her as she led the elf to a rows and rows of arrows. Elanor took them in, slightly surprised to see so many. She would need to send others to help her.

"Thank you," Elanor said, offering the woman the warmest smile that she could, though it was not much. Eowyn nodded before starting to walk off. She then stopped and turning to look Elanor. The two had not spoken much since that night at the keep. While for all purposes, the elf appeared to have recovered, there was a lingering sadness around her and more often than not, it seemed as though her mind was elsewhere. And Eowyn could not help but notice how she continually avoided the elf prince.

"How do you truly fare, my lady?" Eowyn asked, taking a tentative step towards her. Elanor bristled slightly, regretting her candor before. While part of her thought that perhaps it would be good to have a friend in all this, she still wanted to keep her thoughts and emotions to herself.

"I am… doing the best that I can," she said softly, not looking at her. "But I must be strong. For those that I now lead." Eowyn nodded.

"If there is anything else that you require, do not hesitate to ask," Eowyn said, nodding deeply to her. Elanor remained staring at the arrows, waiting until she sensed that she was alone before letting out the breath that she had been holding. She placed her hand on a post, closing her eyes briefly as a tear streaked down her cheek.

"How am I to do this without you, Haldir," she whispered.

_You are strong, Elanor…_

She swallowed as another tear fell and her mind was filled with his face. His eyes full of love gazing down at her. She gripped the post harder as she felt her knees start to give beneath her. She fell to the ground as she brought her hands to her face, unable to stop them this time. She gasped as she tried to breathe, unable to stop the memories. She desperately needed a drink. Need to return to the numbness that kept them at bay so that she could do what needed to be done.

For a short time, they had lived in peaceful bliss. For a short time, she had forgotten about her past and everything that pained her. But like many things in her life, it was not meant to be.

* * *

_Elanor stretched in bed, pointing her toes as she relished the smooth feeling of the sheets against her skin. Haldir rolled over, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her closer as he kissed her._

" _Surely the marchwarden is needed on patrol soon," she said, reaching up to caress his cheek and brush his long hair from his face._

" _We have some time yet," he replied. "Are we not still on our honeymoon?"_

_Elanor smiled softly as she brought his face to hers, happy that she could now kiss him without abandon. They were married and she resided in his home. No, their home. She hoped that there would be many years of happiness here. That the shadows of her past would no longer linger around her. Perhaps someday they would fill the house with their own children._

" _And I will be with you, if that is any consolation," she said, settling into his arms as she rested her head on his shoulder._

" _We never have to be apart, Elanor," he said softly into her hair. "I will always be at your side. From here until eternity." Elanor nodded, too overcome with happiness to speak. For a split moment, her thoughts wandered to the fellowship, wondering where they were. But she stopped. No. She would no longer allow thoughts of Legolas to plague her mind. They had made their amends - as best they could, anyway. Someday he would return, but she was now and forever Haldir's. And Legolas had given her his blessing to be happy. That is what she would do._

" _What shall we do today?" she asked, glancing up at him. "Perhaps we should venture out?"_

" _Where should we go?" he asked, meeting her eyes, his own expression quizzical. Elanor chuckled as she sat up. "To visit your aunt and uncle?"_

" _Perhaps. It has been a few days since the wedding. I am sure they wonder how we are," she replied._

" _I am sure they know that we are fine. Just enjoying our first week as husband and wife," he replied. She grinned as she leaned towards him, kissing him again._

" _I suppose we can wait a bit longer," she said, grinning at him._

" _Whatever it is that you wish…"_

* * *

Elanor gasped again, fighting to gain control of herself as she furiously wiped at her face. She needed to regain control. There was no telling who else would walk into the armory and see her. She quickly stood, taking deep, slow breaths as her body shook.

She was not losing herself. She could not. She then straightened her back, sliding back into her calm, stoic being. She needed to get back to her room where she had a stock of wine hidden away.

"Elanor?"

She turned, seeing a concerned Legolas standing there. She quickly wiped at her cheeks again, feeling her cheeks begin to burn with embarrassment.

"I am fine," she said, turning and starting to walk towards him. It was the only way out of the armory.

"Please… speak to me," he urged, watching as she walked past him. He wanted to reach out to her but stopped.

"No," she said, continuing to walk.

"You need to talk about this," he called out. Elanor stopped, her whole body stiffening.

"I think I know what is best for me," she said softly before continuing on to walk. Legolas sighed and shook his head.

When would she finally open herself up again?

* * *

Later that night, Elanor sat in her room, as she usually did. She was in a chair before a roaring fire, wrapped in a blanket, her hair down. She reached over and grabbing a goblet, taking a large drink before placing it back on the table, swaying slightly.

She watched as the flames dance before her and she settled into the warmth of the numbness. If she felt nothing, it was easier than dealing with the pain. The flames mesmerized her in a way that kept her from thinking of Haldir or Legolas. Or of the dangerous journey Frodo and Sam were on. Or of Pippin and Mithrandir, who were at this moment riding towards Gonder, which was at Mordor's doorstep and was unlikely to be all that safe.

She didn't want to think about any of it as she wrapped the blanket tighter around her, shivering slightly. She was dressed in only a nightdress under the blanket, though it was made of thicker material than she was used to her, her feet and legs clad in long wool socks that itched slightly.

Suddenly, she perked up slightly, hearing footsteps in the corridor. She then turned back to the flames, assuming it was someone who was staying in the nearby rooms. The men stayed up late into the night, eating and drinking. She found it rather unwise if they were to set out at a moment's notice to Gondor. Granted, it wasn't as though she could say much in that regard. Though she still managed to try and keep her wits about her.

"Elanor."

Blearily she turned, seeing Legolas walking into her room, shutting the door behind him. Groaning in frustration, she pushed herself up to her feet, turning to glare at him.

"What do you want?" she asked, managing to stand straight despite her earlier swaying. His sudden appearance seemed to sober her up rather quickly. She could see a hint of pink in the elf prince's cheeks. She was unsure of whether it was from drink or anger, though knowing him it was likely anger.

"I cannot stand to watch you fade in this way," he said, stepping closer to her. She narrowed her eyes at him.

"In what way?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her as she pulled the blanket tighter around her.

"You shut yourself off from everyone, drinking yourself to sleep every night," he said.

"I am allowed to mourn in whatever way I see fit," she spat at him. "I thought I made it clear that I did not wish for you to interfere in my life any longer."

"I cannot stop how I feel about you," he said, his eyes blazing.

"Try," she said, gritting her teeth together. "I assure you that it is not as difficult as you think."

The two glared at each other, standing just a few feet apart.

"Would Haldir wish this of you?" Legolas said. Elanor's eyes widened, feeling as though she had been slapped.

"Do not speak his name," she hissed. "I am doing the best that I can. Am I not leading our kin?!"

"You are going through the motions, Elanor!" Legolas shouted. "Even though we have been apart for 100 years, I still know you! And this is not you!"

"You know nothing about me!" Elanor shouted back as she closed the distance between them and shoved her finger into his chest hard. "I am not the elf that I once was, and you are partially to blame for that!"

"I can clearly see that," Legolas said, glaring down at her as he wrinkled his nose slightly at the smell of wine on her breath. Elanor swallowed.

"You do not get to have a say in my life any longer," she said softly. "You gave up that right."

"I did not wish to. You ran away," he retorted.

"Because you were too blind to see the pain that you inflicted," she shot back. A grimace came across his face.

"I know. And there is nothing I would not do to go back and do things differently," he said, looking away from her.

"You can change nothing," Elanor said. "What's done is done."

"I know," Legolas shouted, now staring down at her, the desperation clear in his eyes. "But that does not change the fact that I wish I could have done things differently! That I had realized sooner…"

"You only think that you love me," Elanor said hollowly. "Once you saw that I had chosen another…"

"That is not it," Legolas said, grimacing again. "I realized before… I should have sought you out sooner…" Elanor stared up at him in confusion as she backed away from him. "There are so many things that I should have done differently… Perhaps I could have saved you from this pain."

Elanor only shook her head, feeling the tears pricking at her eyes.

"There is nothing you can do that can change what's been done," she said softly. "Nothing."

Legolas quickly moved towards her, grabbing her arms as he searched her eyes for something. She wasn't sure what.

"You said that you once loved me. We both know that if it were true, those feelings are still there," he said.

"I have married another. Even if they are still there, nothing can be done," she said, her voice barely a whisper. Her heart began pounding in her chest as she felt chills run up and down her body. Part of her hated herself for the reaction she had when he touched her. Was sickened with herself. Not all that long ago she had buried her husband and now she was standing here, wishing with all her heart that she could feel Legolas' lips against hers.

Had she not found happiness with Haldir? Why did she still yearn for the prince? Deep down she knew the answer, but she still pushed it aside. She had to be strong.

"I meant what I said, Elanor," he said softly, his brow furrowed. "What I felt for Tauriel. It was not real. What I feel for you… it is real." Elanor shook her head, trying half-heartedly to pull out of his grasp, but he only held on tighter.

"It cannot be," she whispered, tears streaking down her cheeks. "It cannot." Legolas only stared at her before bringing his lips to meet hers in a bruising kiss. In her mind, she knew that she should push him away, but found that she could no longer fight it off.

Sighing into the kiss, she found herself moving closer to him as she gripped the front of his tunic, letting go of the blanket. For a moment, he let her go, allowing the blanket to fall to the floor as he then pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her as she reached up, wrapping her own around his neck. He ran his hands up and down her sides, gripping at the thin material that clothed her as he pulled her flush against him.

Warmth radiated throughout her body as she felt his strong, lithe frame against hers. She knew that she should stop. Push him away. That she should not let this go any further than it already had. But she was weak. And all she wanted was to continue feeling this warmth. This blaze running through her veins. For the first time since the battle, she felt alive and she didn't want to think of the consequences just yet. Her hands moved down his front, starting to work at the buttons that lined the front of his tunic. She started hesitantly at first, unsure if he would allow her to continue. When he made no move to do so, instead moaning slightly against her lips, she continued her movements, now more resolute as she finished and pushed the tunic off him.

Their lips parted for a moment as he pulled his undertunic off and tossed it to the ground. Elanor's eyes roamed his solid, bare chest, taking in the various scars there before meeting his eyes again. She saw the same fire that was surely blazing in her own there in his.

Before either of them could change their minds, his lips were upon hers again, kissing her hungrily as he pulled her towards the bed, his hands now working at the laces of his breeches. Just before they reached the edge of it, he tugged at them, the course material falling to the ground as he then pulled at the laces at the top of her night dress.

The material fell to the floor as well as the two stood before each other a moment, breathing heavily. If ever there were a time to stop, now would be it. Elanor could feel different emotions start to war with each other in her mind. But she still could say nothing.

Legolas then reached out, gently pulling her towards him as he wrapped his arms around her, leaning his forehead against hers. He knew that she was speaking truth when she said that she could not truly be his now. But perhaps they could belong to each other for just this night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now you see where I wrote myself into a corner as far as Tolkien lore goes…


	15. Chapter 15

Elanor stood listening to Braern as he gave her a rundown of the elves' preparations. A few days had passed and they had been ready to set out practically since Mithrandir and Pippin had left for Gondor, however it would take three days for them to arrive, then however much time it took to convince the steward to light the beacons and call for aid.

For a moment, she found her thoughts drifting back to that night in her room, though she quickly shook her head, focusing on her second's news. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Legolas walk into the Great Hall, though he kept his distance, moving to sit next to the dwarf, who was talking loudly to Merry as he smoked a pipe, trying to keep the forlorn hobbit entertained. Her heart went out to him. Ever since Pippin left, he had seemed sad and a bit lost.

She hadn't had another drop of wine or ale since that night, determined not to let her guard down again even though Legolas had for the time being given her wide berth. However, that meant she was now at the mercy of feeling everything that she had been trying to stave off. The first few nights, she had spent biting her knuckles or her sheets to keep the shrieks from erupting from her mouth and waking up the entire castle as the pain and grief took hold of her. When she did manage to fall asleep, she was assaulted by nightmares of Haldir dying next to the deeping wall. Thankfully, she only woke up gasping for air, rather than screaming.

And then there was the near constant shame even though no one knew about that night save her and Legolas and she knew that he would tell no one. Not even the dwarf Gimli that he had taken to spending most of his free time with when he was not at Aragorn's side.

"That will be all," she said, dismissing him. Braern bowed to her, though continued watching her with a wary eye as she made her way outside the hall. While her eyes were certainly brighter, he couldn't help but notice her near constant sense of agitation. Especially when the prince of Mirkwood was nearby. He knew that she was seeking out Aragorn, who had taken to standing there often, his eyes searching the horizon for the signs of beacons.

"No sign yet?" she asked, stepping up to his side. He glanced at her before continuing to puff on his pipe. He had sensed a change in the elf over the last few days - Legolas as well - though had said nothing, finding it wasn't his business. At least she was sharper in her daily goings-on rather than walking around in a haze as she had been.

"None. But they would have only been in Gondor a day at this point," he said. Elanor nodded.

"We should be ready when the time comes. It could be any day now, depending on how open the steward is to the wizard," she said. Aragorn took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"I am unsure just how he will be received, but there is still hope," Aragorn said. Elanor nodded, her own keen eyes searching the mountains for something that the mortal man could not see. There was nothing. Her brow furrowed as her thoughts flew over the mountains and plains towards Mordor. She wondered just where Frodo and Sam were. If they were hurt or okay. "My lady, I am sure that they are still moving. Still safe." Elanor looked over at him and nodded, a fleeting smile coming across her face.

"I am sure that they are," she said softly. "If you'll excuse me." She bowed to him slightly before turning and walking away.

She was beginning to feel antsy and restless the longer they waited. She could only polish her weapons so many times. Go through her pack. Layout her armor so that she could throw it on quickly. Brush down her horse. The other day, Eowyn had pointed her in the direction of the training area. Perhaps some sparing would help ease her mind and anxiety as well as help her to forget.

Moving down the hallway, she quickly made her way to her rooms, shutting the door behind her as she crossed over to her things, pulling out a pair of breeches and tunics. She stopped for a moment, glancing over her shoulder at the bed, only to shake her head and refocus on her task. She struggled to not think of that night…

* * *

_Elanor laid on her side, staring towards the door with the sheets pulled up to her chest as Legolas laid behind her, still holding her. While part of her felt at home there, another part of her felt disgusted at what had transpired. How could she have let her guard down even for a moment? Granted, she knew why. It was because despite everything, a fire still burned inside her for the elf prince._

" _Elanor," he said softly, sitting up and kissing her bare shoulder. Elanor pushed him away and sat up, throwing her legs over the side of the bed as she clung to the sheets. A bitter chill had set it, but it helped her to stay grounded. "What is the matter?"_

" _You should go," she whispered. "We should not have done this."_

_He reached out to touch her shoulder, but she flinched and moved away from him. She could not bear to turn and look at him, the shame was too great. She squeezed her eyes shut as he heard him move around behind her. The bed shifted and she heard him moving around the room, likely locating his clothes and pulling them on. She swallowed hard as she felt the weight shift on the bed again, knowing that he was sitting next to her._

" _Look at me, Elanor," he said softly. She shook her head._

" _Please… I cannot," she whispered. She felt his hand on her shoulder and then his other gently touch her chin, guiding it over. She finally opened her eyes, finding his full of concern for her. And something much more. "Please, do not look at me like that."_

" _But I do love you," he said. Elanor shook her head and looked back to the ground, still gripping the sheet to her naked body. "We should not feel shame-"_

" _But I am wed to someone else, Legolas. You know that bond cannot be broken just because he is gone," she said. "This is… it will break our fathers' hearts."_

" _But it could… I am sure that if we spoke to our fathers and Lady Galadriel, they would understand. We are as good as wed-"_

" _No. It is not our way," she said, this time more firmly. "You know this." Legolas was silent._

" _But after all this time… do we not deserve to be happy?" he asked._

" _I was happy," she said. "And now I have betrayed him."_

" _Haldir… he would understand-"_

" _Just, stop, Legolas," she said, screwing her eyes shut again. "I cannot take this. Not now. Please. Just go. Forget that this ever happened." She could feel him watching her a few moments, but she then felt the bed shift again and knew he had stood. She could hear his steps against the floor, the door open. It was then that she opened her eyes and met his. There was a deep sadness there. He then turned and left, softly shutting the door behind him._

_Elanor fell back onto the bed, curling up into a ball as she began to cry._

* * *

Legolas stood outside the great hall, taking up watch for the beacons while Aragorn was otherwise preoccupied. He found that he rather enjoyed the solitude where he was allowed to be alone with his thoughts.

He knew that he was careful. No one knew that he had gone to Elanor's room that night. No one knew what had transpired between them. But it had only reaffirmed what he knew to be true. That they did indeed love each other. It had come too late, but he could not help but think there was a way forward for them. A way that they could finally be together even though she was now a widow.

Haldir knew of their past. Knew that Elanor had first loved him. And had not his own father wished that they would wed?

But even he could not deny the look of pain on Elanor's face. How she had begged him to forget what had happened. Though she appeared calm when meeting with the others, her blue eyes now sharper and brighter than they had been, she was constantly playing with the ring on her right hand.

They had not spoken since that night and he had given her space. But they would need to talk. There were many things to discuss, namely what would come once the threat was over. If they survived, that is. He frowned as he thought to the upcoming battle that they would face at Gondor. And it likely would not be the last. Not to mention, they still had no word of Frodo and Sam and how they fared on their journey to Mount Doom. Even if they won the upcoming battles, they would ultimately lose if the two little hobbits did not complete their task.

They could both die before the end of this. Which made him only want to speak to her more. In their laws, they were as good as wed, though he was unsure how that would work now. There had never been a situation like theirs in all of the elves' long history. Only once had an elf been granted the right to remarry after the loss of a spouse. And never had an elf had relations with another without being wed, nor when one was already wed. Even if their spouse was deceased.

For a moment, he could understand just why Elanor had reacted as she did. There was no clear path forward. And was sure that his father would have stern words for him if he found out. Accuse him of once again not thinking something through before acting.

Once again, he had acted on his own selfish wants and in the process caused Elanor more pain. He frowned as he continued scanning the horizon. Soon they would be leaving for Gondor. There was little time left to attempt and make things right. Yet again.

But he was determined this time that he would do so.

* * *

Elanor quickly made her way to the training ground, grateful that for once Legolas wasn't her constant shadow. He had been hovering ever since that night - though at a distance - and she knew that he wanted to further discuss what had happened. Even though she felt that they might eventually have to, she just wanted to try and forget that it had happened. Rather swallow her shame and try to push past it. She could only imagine what her father would say. Her aunt. They would be so disappointed. And it ultimately would create more problems than solve them.

More than that, she could not help but think of Haldir, not yet a week gone. What would he think of her?

Stopping suddenly, she closed her eyes for a moment as her breath hitched in her throat. Her chest tightened as she brought her hand to her chest. She gulped down air as she gasped her eyes flew open again. She shoved the memories and thoughts aside as she continued walking to the training grounds.

When she arrived, she found a number of men there, though none that she immediately recognized and assumed that they must be the Rohirrim. Some were sparring on horseback while others were sparring on foot while still more lined up for target practice. She looked around, deciding she would work with one of the dummies. She needed to work up a sweat and felt that target practice wouldn't do. But at the same time, she did not wish to work with any of the other warriors there just yet.

Sighing, she removed her quiver and bow, setting them aside as she unsheathed her sword and started towards the dummy, eying it. Taking a deep breath, she held it in a moment before slowly letting it out. Without another thought, she immediately began to attack, grunting slightly as she worked out the kinks in her muscles. She had not been that injured in the battle but was still a tad bit sore as she worked.

Tuning out the world around her, she pushed faster, harder. Slowly starting to work up a sweat as she moved around the dummy, landing her mark each and every time. Grunting slightly, she spun around and then sunk her sword deep into its side, panting slightly as she stared at it a moment and then with a hard yank, pulled it out.

Stepping back, she took a few deep breaths, already starting to feel better. It was then that she noticed most of the noise around her had stopped. She looked around, noticing the many men standing there watching her.

"You are the captain of the elven guard, are you not?" a golden-haired man said, walking up to her. She immediately recognized him as Eomer, the captain of the Rohirrim and nephew to the king. She had not seen or spoken to him since they set out for Edoras.

"Yes, Elanor," she said, nodding to him.

"You rode out with the King and his men from the keep," he said, his voice holding a tinge of awe. "That was rather brave of you."

"I only did what was right," she said. "It was my duty."

"Either way, I thank you for that," he said. "Would you care to spar? I feel it will be much more beneficial than working with that dummy. And it seems that you have a lot on your mind." There was no judgement in his voice, though his eyes were warm. Elanor said nothing, just nodded as she followed him into a more open area, rolling her shoulders slightly as she got into position.

She closed her eyes for a moment, focusing all her senses on the large man. She could also hear others moving closer to watch. She could easily hear his heavy footfalls over the movement, standing still until the last minute when her eyes flew open and she stepped out of the way, lifting her sword to block his blow. It jarred her momentarily, but she then quickly pushed against his sword and backed up, her blue eyes fixed on him.

For a while, she stayed on the defensive, allowing him to move and attack first, knowing that he would eventually start to tire. After a bit, a small smile came over her face as she gradually began to increase her speed. While Eomer was a strong fighter and did not tire as easily as others, it became more difficult for him to keep up with her movement. She then seamlessly switched to offensive, making more daring attacks against him.

A small look of triumph came over her face when she was able to disarm him and held her sword close to his throat. Eomer held his hands up as a smile also appeared on his face and he chuckled. Elanor pulled her weapon away and sheathed it. Eomer retrieved his own and walked back towards her.

"You are a strong fighter," he said. "I must admit, I have not seen such speed or skill."

"Spend more time fighting with elves and you will," she replied, dusting herself off. Eomer looked down, noticing the ring on her right hand.

"Is your husband a great fighter as well?" he asked. Elanor winced, pausing for a moment.

"He was. His name was Haldir. He fell shortly after the deepening wall was breached," she said, not meeting his eyes. "He was marchwarden of Lothlorien."

"My apologies. I did not know," Eomer said. Elanor glanced up at him, seeing sympathy in his eyes.

"It is fine," she said before turning to retrieve her quiver and bow. While the workout had done her well, with the talk turning towards Haldir, she did not wish to linger. "I shall take my leave now." Eomer nodded to her as she started walking off towards the great hall. Perhaps a warm bath would help further ease her mind.

Just as she was about to reach the keep, there was a flurry of movement as many began running around. She stopped for a moment, confused. It was then that Braern ran up to her, his face flushed.

"I have been looking for you, my lady," he said. "It is time. The beacons have been lit."

"You are sure?" she asked. He nodded.

"I just heard Lord Aragorn say so himself. I then saw it with my own eyes," he replied. Elanor nodded, now glad that she was in her armor.

"Inform the others. I will go see Aragorn. Be ready to ride at first word," she said.

"Yes, my lady."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there you have it… everything that I wrote on the first version. How I planned to go forward was more or less about the same as the second version, though obviously a bit different considering in that one, Elanor never loved or married Haldir. And while an earlier version of the second story had the drinking, I ended up taking it out. But you can see the ideas that I took from this one and how I translated it into the new version. So… let me know which you liked better. If enough folks really like this one, I might attempt to finish it and give it a new name…


End file.
